Chinese History for White People - Han Dynasty

Let me tell you about Han Xin. Historical records aren't clear about his origins and background. As far as we know, he just appeared one day in a rural village with nothing but a hemp tunic and a copper short sword. He goes into people's houses, eats their food, and spends all day every day fishing. Around this time, there were some forty rebellions throughout the Qin Dynasty against Huhai, and one day, Han Xin just up and travels across the entire Empire to join Xiang Yu's rebellion in particular, even though it's not the largest, most effective, or most well-known. As a rando who showed up on his own, Han Xin was tasked with making meals. Nonetheless, he repeatedly wandered into the commander's tent to propose various strategies. Nobody ever listened to him. People were just confused why Private Onion-Chopper had so many opinions about how to fight a war. So Han Xin deserted to go wander around, help peasants, kill bandits, and hunt bear asses (not really). Eventually, after presumably getting his stats high enough, he came back to Xiang Yu's rebellion, and instead joined Liu Bang's army.

Liu Bang was a crooked cop tasked mostly with transporting prisoners to a corvee labor site, but mostly he just made friends with the prisoners. When he accidentally let some escape, the penalty for failure was death, so he decided to just free all of them and go hide in a bandit fort. The Qin put his pregnant wife in prison as a hostage until he returned to be executed. Unsure of what to do next, he contacted his friend Xiao He for advice. Xiao He was secretary to the Count of Pei, and suggested Liu Bang fire arrows with a message written on them asking the citizens of Pei to rebel, since they also weren't fond of the labor camps. The letters were well received, an angry mob killed the Count, and Liu Bang was now “Duke of Pei” and a rebel leader.

Liu Bang maneuvered his forces to follow behind Xiang Yu so that after Xiang Yu did all the hard fighting, Liu Bang would sweep in and claim his forces saved the day. Aside from all the time he spent not-fighting, he spent barbecuing dogs¹ and partying with his soldiers. Combined with the constant string of easy “victories” they enjoyed, his troops were healthy, well rested and well fed, and liked Liu Bang very much. Along the way he met Zhang Liang- an aristocrat who spent his entire family fortune hiring an assassin who narrowly failed to kill Qin Shi Huang². Zhang Liang had since then spent his life evading capture by crossdressing and trying to start his own rebel force. A talented diplomat, Zhang Liang would become known as “The Confucius of Politics.” To Zhang Liang's lament, even today he is more well known for looking like a woman than his political genius.

Liu Bang manages to beat Xiang Yu to the capital and accepts the surrender of King Ziying of Qin. Emperor Huhai had already been forced to commit suicide by his own eunuchs³ and soldiers. Xiang Yu was furious, and went straight to the palace and burned it down⁴. Xiao He, meanwhile, went to the Chancellor's office and collected all the maps, census, and legal records to preserve for posterity. At the ensuing victory banquet, Xiang Yu tried to have Liu Bang assassinated in a “sword dancing accident” (yes really), but his own uncle- under the advice of Zhang Liang- joins the dance, parries the assassin, and openly scolds Xiang Yu for his cowardly scheming. Liu Bang excuses himself to the latrine, then retreats his army out of the capital. As he was being pursued, Liu Bang threw his own son off the wagon so it would go faster- but let his extramarital bastard stay. The kid managed to run and catch up to the wagon, so Liu Bang threw him off again, and again when he did it a second time. Nonetheless the kid survived. Later Xiang Yu would captured Liu Bang's father and threatened to cannibalize him if he didn't surrender. Liu Bang replies, “send me a piece”. Given the supreme importance of filial piety in China, that reply is considered pretty vile even when it's understood you're calling their bluff. At any rate, they didn't kill the old man, and he lived well into the Han Dynasty.

Things aren't going so well for Liu Bang. His troops are now deserting. And it's around this time Han Xin enlists again, gets cited for various disciplinary infractions, such as repeatedly wandering into the commander's tent to give various strategies for how to fight the war, and is sentenced to death. After several of his comrades are beheaded, Han Xin asks why they're doing the enemy's job for them, and the executioner figured he had a point and decided to recommend him to Liu Bang. Liu Bang said “Who the fuck is this? Put him on kitchen duty.” Finding himself in the exact same situation as in Xiang Yu's army, Han Xin deserts again. But this time, Xiao He goes chasing after him, to convince him to return. Liu Bang, meanwhile, is freaking out because he figured that even Xiao He had deserted alongside of Han Xin. When they return, Liu Bang asks if this guy was really so important that Xiao He would go AWOL for him, and Xiao He replies that, “You know, I think you should really listen to his ideas.” And then Private Onion-Chopper asks to be made Grand Marshal in supreme command of Liu Bang's forces.

And Liu Bang says, “Okay! Fine! Whatever! Do what you want!”

China typically ranks the merit of its Generals by how many cities they've conquered or how many armies they've defeated. Han Xin is recorded by how many countries he's destroyed. Which is eleven. He conquered eleven nations- presumably because they all thought they could just be independent once Qin was dead. He is the only man in Chinese history to simultaneously hold the position of Prince, Duke, Grand Marshal, and Chancellor. He is remembered by history with the title “The God of War”. He wrote three “Art of War” books, an anthology simply known as “Han Xin”, and also helped Xiao He build a compilation of 35 other “Art of War” books written by other authors to date. This is why Chinese people are confused with the Western obsession with Sunzi.

You probably thought that Han Xin would have become the Han Emperor, but no. The name of Dynasties have nothing to do with the surname of the royal family. The founding Emperor and his advisors simply pick a character that they like- in this case, Liu Bang picked Han because he was already made King of Han⁵. The Han ethnic group is named after the Han dynasty, not the other way around.

Xiao He, Zhang Liang, and Han Xin, are considered the 3 Great Heroes of the Founding of Han Dynasty. Xiao He becomes chancellor and proceeds to update the laws of Qin and reform the constitution. Zhang Liang advised the Emperor without an official title for some time, then retired to become a Daoist. Han Xin was considered too powerful and dangerous to the Empire, so he and his entire family was preemptively executed for treason by Queen Lu Zhi while Liu Bang is away from the capital. Queen Lu Zhi is the same woman who went to prison in Liu Bang's stead, and after Liu Bang died and her son ascended to the throne; some historians speculate she may have been having an affair with Han Xin⁶.

So in summary of Han Xin's life, he appears without explanation in a village with a sword, obtains loot from houses without objection by the occupants, completes the fishing minigame, precognitively joins the winning side, plot armors his way through a military execution, reads an online strategy guide to completely destroy every enemy army in the game, then completes the romantic subplot by fucking the Emperor's wife. The only reason we haven't made a video game about this guy is presumably because we are currently living in a video game about this guy that never got turned off.

As for Liu Bang, while it's fun to joke about how he was a trashy lower class schmuck, that is precisely the reason China survived. There were many rebellions against the Qin, but all of them were led by feudal nobles who wanted a return to the serfdom of the Warring States period. Only low-born Liu Bang and Xiao He had a personal stake in basing their legitimacy on social mobility- which required preserving Qin's vision of a meritocratic society. He is without a doubt the best possible man who could have taken the throne.

Anyway, remember that kid that got kicked off the wagon? That's Liu Ying, the second Emperor of Han- known for being terrified of his mother. Liu Bang was already old and injured by the time he won the war, and after only 8 years the throne passed to 17 year old Liu Ying. For the most part, it was Chancellor Xiao He and now Dowager Empress Lu Zhi who governed however, and high on the Empress's priorities was amputating the limbs of Liu Bang's favorite concubine, killing her son (who did try to assassinate Liu Ying), gouging out her eyes, popping her ear drums, cutting out her tongue, stuffing her in a latrine, and showing it off to Liu Ying. After that, Liu Ying decided to go to his room and drink himself to death by the age of 23.

Lu Zhi was a control freak. She forced her son to marry his 11 year old niece- and his sole act of rebellion against his mother was refusing to consummate the marriage. It may have cost him his life, as Lu Zhi had the child Queen fake a pregnancy, taking the infant of a palace maid- and as soon as the heir was announced, Liu Ying conveniently died. This let Lu Zhi create the title of Dowager Empress⁷, allowing her to sit the throne as regent until the infant Emperor came of age⁸. Lu Zhi would then stack the imperial court with members of the Lu family, but to keep them from usurping her precarious perch as a female monarch, she also started the precedent of giving official positions and titles to eunuchs. Having ruthlessly established a balance of power, her reign proved to be shockingly competent, with the post-war unification running smoothly until her death 8 years after taking the throne.

Upon Lu Zhi's death, the Liu family would purge the Lu family, and without a proper descendant of Liu Bang they picked the Liu among them with the most timid mother to take the throne and continue the dynasty. Nonetheless, the precedents established by Lu Zhi in Empresses securing a precarious position of power through nepotistic corruption and giving power to eunuchs would repeat continuously throughout Han Dynasty.

I wanted to just cover the interesting stories, but realized almost every battle for the throne has an interesting story- like the Emperor who was literally a newborn who grew up in prison when his entire family was executed when they made a failed bid for the throne. He ended up succeeding the throne when it turned out there were no other legitimate claimants left. In the interest of brevity, I'll try and summarize the major achievements of Han Dynasty as a whole.

⁃ Established a robust full time census office and the standard tax rate as 1 in 15. Establishing a tradition that an Emperor can cement his legacy in history by lowering it to 1 in 30. Liu Heng, who established this policy, became so flush with coin that he got it down to 1 in 60. During his rule, it actually became a small national crisis that they couldn't figure out a way to count how many coins the treasury actually held before the twine holding the coin stacks together started to decay. To this day, we don't know exactly how much money Han Dynasty had.

⁃ Han dynasty tax records reveal they had more gay male prostitutes than female (guess they were taking that “men should maintain a polite distance form women” thing pretty seriously)

⁃ Han dynasty established the silk road, which brought African and European crops and spices to the Chinese table.

⁃ Lesser known to Europeans, the maritime silk road was actually established a couple decades earlier, taking blue water routes across the Indian Ocean all the way to Mecca. This was made possible by the development of the steering rudder, as well as the invention of the compass. The Junk rig they developed allowed a single man to crew a large sailing ship, and sailing enthusiasts today note it has better cornering and handling for its speed than a modern sailing rig.

⁃ Han China established diplomatic contact with Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, though when the Chinese ambassador arrived in Antioch, the King there bluffed that the journey would take another 3 years, and the ambassador turned back.

⁃ Han ended the unpopular draconian laws of Qin, removing maiming and disfigurement as statutory punishments, and outlawed punishing families of criminals for their misdeeds. Note that the Emperor doesn't need a reason for ordering someone's death- his power is only limited by the Mandate of Heaven i.e. people stabbing him if he pisses them off enough. Which is actually much more limiting than you'd expect.

⁃ Established Tui'en Ling, which required nobility to split their inheritance equally among all their sons, not just primogenitor. This ingenious reform, as well as the next two, were done to deliberately weaken noble families and increase the number of commoners in positions of power- something both Yin Zheng and Liu Bang had desired but could not find the means to achieve.

⁃ Established a secret police of spies that report directly to the Emperor, whose sole job was to dress in plainclothes and spy on public officials for signs of corruption or disloyalty.

⁃ Started a Confucianist revival after it had almost been forgotten by the Qin Legalists, allowing judges more arbitration in sentencing, and emphasizing education (even opening the first public school) as a path to public office (Shang Yang's meritocracy relied on prior experience, which unfortunately still gated to nepotism), which in turn fueled a high demand for private educators, causing literacy rates to soar. People would practice literacy by producing copies of books and public census records, resulting in extremely redundant historical records. Chinese history is almost never faced with a European Dark ages situation where history is taken from a single surviving tome written by one very sleepy monk in his free time.

⁃ The first Printing Press was invented near the beginning of Han Dynasty, though it was a stone engraved sheet for printing on cloth. Movable type printing wouldn't be developed until the Tang Dynasty. Paper would also be perfected in the late Han Dynasty, helping with the whole literacy thing, as it was much cheaper than bamboo scrolls.

⁃ Paper and printing are two of “The Four Great Inventions” of China. Of the other two, the compass was invented and used in the Warring States period, while Daoists would accidentally invent gunpowder in the Tang Dynasty while trying to brew an immortality potion. Utilizing it as a weapon, instead of fireworks, would take another 200 years however.

⁃ China was also really proud of its seismograph. Korea insists they invented this, and have a statue of it in front of their capital. The inventor is Zhang Heng from Henan- which is in central China and not Korea, no matter how much Korea insists otherwise. Zhang Heng also invented the armillary sphere.

⁃ Han China had waterwheels, chain pumps, belt drives, winnowing machines, odometers, rotary fans, and even an air conditioning system using flowing water indoors. They also had suspension bridges, distillation, porcelain, and natural gas furnaces fed through bamboo pipelines into 600m deep boreholes.

⁃ Han mathematicians derived the Pythagorean theorem 300 years before Pythagoras, and developed negative numbers, which India would achieve next in the 7th century. They also had Gaussian Elimination of linear equations that wouldn't appear in the west until the 17th century. They published every known mathematic proof to date in a single widely reproduced volume, “The Nine Chapters on the Mathematical Art”. They even developed a 60 tone written music scale.

⁃ Chinese doctor Zhang Zhongjing invented CPR, enemas, deworming treatments, and a dissertation on typhoid.

⁃ Although not considered a major advancement to China, Europeans will be impressed to know that after 200 years of warring states period, China had blast furnaces and mass produced carbon steel⁹ weapons and lamellar plate armor. Crossbows had also become very popular and widespread as well. Military doctrine from hereon would revolve primarily around mass produced armored infantry, heavy polearm cavalry, siege crossbows and horse archers. Also chemical weapons deployed from chariots, which rendered further advances in armor pointless.

⁃ Hans got down to business to defeat the Huns (called the Xiongnu in Chinese records). The Xiongnu claimed to be descendants of the Xia dynasty when it was overthrown by the Shang. At any rate, they'd been having border skirmishes since Shang dynasty, so China at this point has literally always been at war with Eurasia. Hence the whole Great Wall- which was actually mostly used as a series of signal towers and message relays. Less a durable obstacle and more an early warning system.

Speaking of the Huns, there are two figures whose stories I should include. The first is Wang Zhaojun, second of the 4 Great Beauties. When the Emperor chose his concubines, she was among the first selected for her great renown- even though her father protested she was underage. However she refused to bribe the Imperial portrait artist, so he painted her with an ugly mole, and the Emperor never selected her for intercourse. When attempting to establish diplomacy with the Xiongnu (prior to the war), the Emperor was obligated to offer a princess in marriage, but instead he decided to take the ugliest (and therefore virginal) member of his harem based on portrait instead. Only when presented to the delighted King of Xiongnu did the Emperor realize he'd been deceived, and ordered the execution of the portrait artist. Wang is thus renown for tragically fulfilling her duty of being married off to barbarians, and by Xiongnu tradition even marrying her stepson when the King died- and stabilizing Xiongnu relations for a couple generations.

Yet eventually tensions rose once more, and here I can't resist telling the tale of Huo Qubing. You probably think it was Mulan who beat the Huns, but Mulan is a Ming Dynasty fictional poem. Huo Qubing is the actual hero- a military noble (and one of the Emperor's favorite gay lovers) who as a teenager went out with his uncle, General Wei Qing. Wei Qing commanded 100,000 infantry (some portion of which were militia), 50,000 cavalry, and 350,000 non-combat logistics. He was facing approximately 300,000 Xiongnu, including an unknown proportion of non-combat logistics, though steppes nomads were frustratingly agile in that regard¹⁰. As a junior officer, Huo Qubing was assigned the smallest unit of cavalry in the Han Army (which was 800 light cavalry), and told to just stay on the sidelines and watch and learn. But after the battle, he was nowhere to be found.

In that battle, Wei Qing took 3000 casualties but was able to kill or capture around 10,000 Xiongnu soldiers, for an admirable 3:1 victory. But Wei Qing was in no mood to celebrate, because he had to figure out how to explain to the Emperor and his own sister how he managed to lose his nephew in the first week.

Huo Qubing showed up a month later having killed the enemy King, captured dozens of nobles, and inflicted 2,000 casualties- raiding all logistics from the Xiongnu and somehow compelling captured Xiongnu forces to fight on his behalf.

That was only his first battle. Wei Qing is considered very competent and admired by China as a hero. He fought admirably in a more conventional manner, inflicting 50,000 casualties over the course of 7 battles. On his first campaign, Huo Qubing would inflict 9,000 casualties against the enemy over the course of 6 battles. Which he fought in 7 days. With only 10,000 cavalry. Across 500km of territory --pushing the horses to their absolute limit with no logistical support. His career would total 110,000 enemy casualties in total¹¹, and claim territory all the way to Lake Baikal. Only 3 Generals in Chinese history have taken more territory than Huo Qubing, and none of them did it as a teenager. A grateful Emperor Liu Che¹² (ranked in the top 5 Emperors of China for happening to own Huo Qubing) offered Huo Qubing early retirement somewhere nearby his bedchambers, but Huo refused and continued his campaign. Huo Qubing died suddenly in his home at age 23 from disease, received a hero's memorial from a bereaved Emperor¹³, and everyone was very mad he didn't get around to writing an “Art of War” or even a good account of exactly how he sacked the enemy capital with a single unit of unarmored cavalry.

In fact, you might be thinking, “these numbers sound like bullshit Han propaganda history”. Actually, it's quite the opposite! The Grand Historian at the time- Sima Qian (who is famously remembered for developing rigorous methodology for Chinese historians from thereon)- mostly only wrote about Li Guang- a general who mostly got captured, showed up late as reinforcements, and otherwise failed to get anything done (though Sima Qian does his very best to make him sound heroic). Li Guang was Sima Qian's friend, and would later try to assassinate Wei Qing out of jealousy for his accomplishments. Sima Qian begged Emperor Che to have mercy on Liu Guang, and when it looked like he was going to get a pardon Huo Qubing stabbed Liu Guang to death in court and dared the Emperor to arrest him. Not only did the Emperor agree with Huo Qubing, but felt the insult of almost pardoning Liu Guang was cause enough to have Sima Qian castrated. Sima Qian then recorded the legal minimum regarding Wei Qing and Huo Qubing's achievements- which were the troop, casualty, and capture numbers- but essentially wrote nothing else about them. The only other mention he made of them was listing them in his compilation of gay concubines who had too much influence on court politics, as part of his dissertation against homosexuality.

Modern historians insist Huo Qubing wasn't gay and that is slander by Sima Qian (being gay wasn't the contemporary slander, but rather the implication that he only got the recognition he did because of his golden butthole). It's quite possible, in my opinion, that modern China is straight-washing history, but they argue that Huo was basically nobody prior to his conquests, while gay concubines typically were given lots of gifts and titles- of which Huo had none besides being a Jr. Officer, which is the least you could expect for the nephew of a General.

Also worth a quick mention: Huo Qubing's brother, Huo Guang, became chancellor and served under 3 Emperors. He was so influential, that at one point he fired the Emperor he served for incompetence. He can't legally do that, but he did it anyway.

On the other side of the world, the Roman Republic had just became the Roman Empire. Yet with Han Dynasty's wealth, standardized metrics, high literacy rate, abundant philosophy, constitutional legal system, sophisticated technology and 15th century arms and armor-- they were in some ways more comparable to Renaissance Italy. At any rate, Han China became an indisputable superpower in Asia. Within a century Han would conquer the Gojoseon Kingdom of Korea (which, interestingly, Chinese and Korean records both claim they are descendants of an exiled Shang Dynasty Prince). Japan had just left the hunter gatherer Jomon period and started their neolithic Yayoi period- and wouldn't gain literacy until they learned to write Chinese characters in the 8th century. The Khmer Empire wouldn't come into existence until the 9th century.

The Han Dynasty would last about 200 years, fitting with the Turchin Cycle. The last Emperor of Han, Liu Xin (famous for his romance with his gay lover Dong Xian, who was given immense power despite not being competent or qualified) was a little too gay, and both men failed to produce an heir. Of course, by that time, the Dowager Empress Wang Zheng Jun's family had completely seized control of court anyways, just as Lu Zhi had done before her. And in the power vacuum that resulted, Wang Mang seized control and established the Xin Dynasty.

Wang Mang was hated and slandered at the time, but modern Chinese historians often joke that he is a confirmed time-traveller, because all his policies mirror that of a modern Chinese society point for point—they just didn't work in Han Dynasty, 2000 years ago. For example, he tried to institute a progressive income tax, which proved impossible to implement without industrialized bureaucracy and modern day communication tools. In an attempt to end landlords, he attempted to make all land nationalized, and all peasants would receive a portion of land when they came of age. He tried to institute price floors and ceilings on important daily necessities. He created currency with anti-counterfeit patterns. He tried to ban slavery (and indentured servitude) completely. He demanded that his engineers create an airplane. He attempted to enforce a mandatory 9-year public education on every household in his Empire.

And perhaps most damningly, he attempted to start a new calendar starting with 1AD, in the year 1AD, despite having no contact with Europe. He also went about hunting down men named Liu Xiu and having them executed for no particular reason, except his claim that he heard a “prophecy”. Even though the Liu Xiu who would eventually kill him was only five years old at the time.

But alas, he lived in the deterministic world of Chinese prophecies, where no amount of effort could change one's fate. His imperial force of 430,000 soldiers was eventually wiped out by Liu Xiu with only 10,000 soldiers.

Han Dynasty would continue¹⁴ another 200 years, once again with its own golden ages and remarkable Emperors and even more remarkable tyrants. It suffered from the exact same problems as the Western Han dynasty, with over-ambitious Dowager Empresses filling the court with nepotistic appointments, and giving too much power to eunuchs in order to balance the situation, leaving to ever-worsening corruption and incompetence. The last half a dozen Emperors of Han Dynasty were all children under ten years old, puppeted by either influential noble families or a collective of eunuchs until once again, the people answered the Mandate of Heaven, and the yellow-turban rebellion began.

Back to Qin Dynasty

Next to Three Kingdoms

1. This isn’t slander—it’s just normal. Even today, most Chinese people think of dogs as working farm animals, and having an animal that eats poop in the house is dirty the same way having a pig in the house is dirty. Getting mauled by starving packs of feral dogs is a common problem too. Chinese people prefer fish and birds as pets. That said, unless there’s a famine going on, you don’t eat just any dogs—you breed meat dogs the same way there are dairy cattle. And other breeds, such as the Shitzu, were bred specifically for amusement. But this “furbaby” attitude is entirely a western phenomenon, and you only see it in the youngest generations of Chinese today.

2. The assassin rolled a boulder at the fanciest carriage in the imperial convoy, but Yin Zheng was in a less fancy carriage, so only a Princess got pasted.

3. At this time, they were just imperial manservants. They weren’t required to be fully castrated until late Han Dynasty. And it remained standard protocol until the 20th century for you to trade your penis for a life in the Imperial palace and a chance to influence the country’s affairs.

4. This includes the books preserved in the Imperial Library by Yin Zheng. In fact, we only know Qin’s laws in their entirety from the records recovered from Qin Dynasty tombs.

5. Xiang Yu offered to recognise Liu Bang’s independence in an attempt to broker a truce, which lasted all of five months before Han Xin continued his Empire-uniting unstoppable rampage.

6. This is unlikely. History also records her as being extremely promiscuous, but modern historians mostly agree this was probably sexist slander, since China likes to say this about every woman who actually held power throughout its history. It’s more likely she killed Han Xin out of realpolitik sociopathy. Maybe you can trust him not to take power—but why take that chance?

7. Translation here is thorny, but the wife of an Emperor is referred to the same as the wife of a King, hence Queen. So there is no position of “Empress” in China, only Dowager Empress. If you ever see me just write “Empress”, I’m referring to the only person allowed to scold an Emperor—his mother.

8. But this one never did. Lu Zhi executed the child as soon as he found out he was adopted, then replaced him with a new infant and carried on ruling.

9. Unlike Europe, China closely guarded this secret for thousands of years. Blacksmithing was a hereditary profession, and sons would have their tongues cut out at a young age so the craft could only be learned by prolonged internship. Smiths could only be found in regional capitals or, occasionally, noble estates, and all steel tools were rented. Broken tools had to be returned in exchange for new ones. Villagers would acquire new tools by way of the local magistrate. Keeping tight control over steel that could be used for armour and weapons was considered common sense sword control.

10. For comparison, Hannibal brought 40,000 infantry and 10,000 cavalry to the battle of Cannae, where he massacred 80,000 Roman infantry and 6,400 Roman cavalry. Rome was considered powerful because it answered Hannibal simply by sending even more fully-equipped legions, and the GDP of the Roman Empire is estimated to be similar to that of Han Dynasty.

11. Nobody has confirmed the migration hypothesis—that the Huns that invaded Rome are the very same as the Xiongnu. Historians seem to think it’s at least possible, but not strongly supported. The best evidence is that if you lost as bad as the Xiongnu did to Huo Qubing, you’d also pack up and walk to the other side of the continent.

12. Liu Che was also known for depleting the entire Imperial Treasury, which you can blame on war spending to some extent. But he also stowed away a third of the entire empire’s income every year to put in his grave, which was bigger than Yin Zheng’s. This would get grave-robbed in the Three Kingdoms era by desperate warlords dozens of times because the buried treasure was so immense that it couldn’t be extracted in one expedition. Unfortunately, Liu Che set a bad example, and it became fashionable for all nobles to show piety to their parents by building underground labyrinths filled with deathtraps, treasure, and, in the case of Emperors, even a “dragon”. Remember, you’re still living in Han Xin’s video game.

13. In fact, the Xiongnu that Huo Qubing had captured and compelled into service were among the most bereaved, and stayed in China to tend to his grave for the rest of their lives. Somehow, he had earned their profound loyalty.

14. Historians refer to the second half of Han Dynasty as “Eastern Han”, with the first half as “Western Han”—but there’s no geographical difference. It’s just a poetic way of saying things in Chinese.