04/09/23 - You'll probably look best around 39 kilos.
Under the trending topic #Five days of holiday for 1st of May, people are complaining that if you discount the extra weekends they’re being forced to work, they’re actually only getting one day off. The schedule is that they work Sunday 23rd of April all the way through to Friday 28th, for six straight days of work. Then they get the weekend of 29th and thirtieth off—the two days they were supposed to have off anyways. They get the 1st off, which cancels out with the Sunday they worked on the 23rd. And they get the 2nd and 3rd of May off, but have to work 4th through to 7th, a Saturday. Everyone is complaining that it really should be illegal to make people work extra weekends to make up for public holidays.
Someone asks a relationship blogger, “There are more and more older left over women in this world who’s never been married and have no kids. I’m constantly worrying what they’re supposed to do when they’re old. While they’re young, they’ve got their parents and their friends. They’ve got someone to help if they get sick. But as they get older, as they get close to death, who is going to be by their side? Sometimes I’ll try to persuade them to find a partner, and they always say it’s not that they don’t want to get married, they just haven’t met the right person and they don’t want to compromise.”
The blogger answers, “Everyone has a different perspective on this problem at different stages of life. You shouldn’t waste your time trying to warn people before they’ve experienced it for themselves what it’s like. And there are plenty of people who die alone even with a spouse and kids. If you don’t have excellent partners to introduce to them, don’t bring pointless anxiety into other people’s lives.”
A horoscope blogger writes, “In fantasy novels I read, there’s a very common concept of a Cauldron. It describes a woman who can make other people’s magical powers grow through having sex with them, while their own luck and powers and even lifespan decreases. I feel like that’s kind of exactly the role that women actually serve in real life too once they’re married?”
Under a thread of someone asking, “155cm, how much weight should I aim to lose?” people are replying, “You’ll probably look the best around 39 kilos. You won’t quite look skeletal yet, but you’ll look very slender and tiny. I’m 153cm, 41 kilos, with a big frame too, and I look on the chunky side. So I think 39 or 38 kilos is probably best. Don’t say my standards are too stringent, or you don’t look good when you’re too thin. I’m just over 1.5 metres, I’m not that tall. Just a little bit of meat shows quite a lot on me. And if I get even a little chubby, it makes me look even shorter. And clothes never look good on me. Only being thin helps.”
Others object, “No way, that’s way too thin. At that height, if you lose too much weight, you’ll start looking spooky. I’m 155, and I definitely looked my best when I was around 43 kilos. At least I have boobs and booty at that weight. It’s the best figure for wearing Qipao.”
“I’m 39 kilos, completely flat both front and back. I look like a primary school student.”
“Jesus Christ, what is wrong with people. I’m 155 and 45 kilos and I can’t even find clothes that fit me. When I lay down facing upwards, there is a concave triangle between my hip bones!”
A blogger reposts someone’s diet dinner consisting of two eggs and three pieces of bread, where they complain, “Been dieting for two weeks. I’ve discovered that I really can’t eat too many vegetables at dinner because it’ll make me bloat and it’s so hard to digest. The bloating will continue all the way through to morning. It’s even worse than my period. I googled, and apparently, leafy veggies are known for doing this. I’ve been eating way too much bokchoy and lettuce. The advice is to eat broccoli instead.”
“Now I’ve cut veggies out of my dinner, focusing on high-fibre foods like corn or cherry tomatoes, or broccoli shrimp oat salad. That way you wake up light and comfy, no bloating.”
“This is just my personal experience though! And of course, you need to cut down on salt and sugar too!”
Comments ask, “Did you just say a couple of days ago that people need to stop eating fruit? Now they can’t have vegetables either? WTF?”
A blogger educates that, “I just read the legal code and found that parents have to fulfil both conditions of a) not being able to work themselves and b) have no source of income before they can sue their offspring for money to take care of them in retirement. If they have money and have assets, but won’t use it to take care of themselves because they’re saving all of it for their son’s inheritance when they pass away, and are trying to suck the blood of their daughter by making her take care of them for free, you can use this law against them. They’re just shameless vampires who want to give all their money to their son, all their houses to their son, and make their daughter do all the work.
If you’re in this situation, ask the judge to investigate their financial situation and what assets they have. If they’ve gifted all of it to their son already, you can sue your brother to make him sell off those assets to fund his parents. And then you can split duties evenly.”
Someone blogs that, “Starting from the 1st of April, you can lose the entirety of your bride price under some circumstances. According to the new laws, if you fulfil the following conditions in a divorce, judges must order that you refund the man all of his bride price:
You have not gotten a marriage certificate together.
You’ve gotten a marriage certificate together, but do not live together.
The bride price is high enough that it causes financial difficulties to the man.
If you don’t want to have to give back the bride price in a divorce, make sure that you:
Get the bride price before you get the marriage certificate.
If the sum is high or contains valuable assets, make sure that you write an official notarised document stating that it is a gift.
Any assets should be put under your name and your name only.
Get a separate bank account just for storing the bride price—don’t mix it up with your post-marital money.
If you receive the bride price after getting married, make sure to write an official notarised document that it’s the sole property of the woman along with the document stating that it’s a gift.
If you have been living together before marriage and you received the bride price before marriage, you can go ahead and use it right away.
If the man took out a loan to put together the bride price, or he asks to borrow your dowry to do anything, make sure that is also documented and notarised.“
Comments say, “Letting men take back their bride price once they divorce is basically just letting them fuck you for free. God, I never want to get married.”
A tiktok video zooming in on a man dancing in his window in an apartment building. Comments are full of people freaking out that, “I like to dance like this in front of a window all the time too! I never thought anyone would look this closely!”
“He thought he was having fun by himself, but actually, the whole world is joining him.”
Someone asks a famous writer, “Hey, when you get super upset or stressed out, how do you make yourself feel better? Is there a good way to vent your emotions? Thanks!”
The author replies, “I download the local traffic police’s app and start filming cars who don’t yield to pedestrians at crossings.”
The blogger reposting this appends a screenshot of the relevant section of legal code, which shows that every time you report someone for illegal merging, illegal u-turns, or not yielding to pedestrians, you can get a reward of 70 RMB, up to 2000 RMB a month.
He attaches some other crimes with rewards attached, such as a 1000 RMB reward for reporting people who fake traffic accidents in order to scam people out of money, illegal car races, faking traffic accidents to commit insurance fraud, busses going above their limit of passengers (50 RMB for each additional passenger, up to 1000 RMB), transporting dangerous materials without a license (such as petroleum, explosive substances, radioactive substances, etc), and DWIs.
There is a 3000 RMB reward for reporting people driving with illegally modified cars, or with fake licenses or fake registrations.
2000 RMB reward for reporting people for driving cars that failed their inspection, selling cars that do not meet national safety standards, illegally modifying scooters, or deliberately obscuring your license.
1000 RMB reward for reporting someone for any violation when they’ve already have more than 50 violations under their belt, driving without a license, selling or buying penalties on a license, and illegally operating a taxi with an 18-wheeler.
500 RMB reward for reporting someone for any violation when they already have more than 10 violations under their belt, illegally destroying roads, illegally diverting roads, busses offloading and onloading passengers on the highway, going over the limit of passengers with a dump truck, doing road work without approval or failing to put up the required safety signs and traffic cones, and doing road work when your road work license has expired.
Comments are all praising the brilliance of this idea. “You can vent emotions, make money, and help maintain orderly traffic—three birds with one stone!”
I didn't even know you could get bloated from eating vegetables, but a quick search revealed it's apparently quite common everywhere.
The bride price pieces are reliably some of the wackiest stuff on this blog. Totally unbelievable that you have this entire culture built up around these norms that incentivize all this bad behavior — and then add on modern legal contortions on top of it and you get this.
Do you have links to the originals?