03/23/25 - My MIL was like, “You married?” And I was like, “No. What about you?” And my MIL was like, “Yes.”

A compilation of couples who don’t seem to know each other:

“One time, he walked past the Civil Affairs Bureau with me and told me that he got his marriage certificate here. I was like, “I know. I was there with you.””

“A year or so into my marriage, I went out to eat barbecue with my husband one day, and he raised his beer glass and asked me, “So, how have you been lately?””

“Married for 7 years, and every time he needs to talk to me on WeChat, he always starts with, “You free?””

“Previously, my husband knew me 100%, and I knew him maybe 80%, until last year, he got an anal abscess and I had to apply medicine for him for half a month. Now I think I know him 120%.”

“When I first brought my newborn son back home, my daughter went to the bedroom over and over again to look at him and refused to go to sleep. In the end, she asked me, “Is he staying over at our place tonight?””

“After being together with my boyfriend for 2 months, we went to get rings together, and my boyfriend said he wanted a W printed inside my ring. Because he always thought my surname was Wan (万). My surname is actually Fang (方).”

“We always treat each other like polite guests. He’s very well-mannered and I have a very short temper. The only thing that gets a rise out of him is that I speed all the time, and he’ll be like, “Don’t make me arrest you.” He’s a cop.”

“Back when we were dating, I visited my MIL’s place for the first time. It was super awkward when it was just the two of us in the living room. My MIL was like, “You married?” And I was like, “No. What about you?” And my MIL was like, “Yes.””

“When my dad comes back from work with his lunch box in hand, my mom’s first reaction is, “You don’t have to bring anything when you come over.”” [A common polite phrase when guests show up with gifts.]

“When I first got married, my husband came home and I froze for a bit and immediately got up and nervously asked him, “Hey, how come you came over?””

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“Mom, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m all grown up now and I know how to have babies. Next year, I’m going to rent a place near Qinghua and Beijing University for three months, and find a hot, tall guy to date. Break up with him as soon as I get pregnant, and my income is more than enough to take care of a kid!”

The discussion below this: “This is really so much better than getting a guy to marry into your family. Don’t have to worry about him taking over your inheritance, don’t have to worry about STDs, no MILs to worry about, the kid is 100% your own, and don’t have to go through the trouble of an IVF and save all that money. And you’re the only one who has access to the baby, and your family will do everything to support the baby. It’s fucking awesome.”

“Girl, listen to me. If you’re from a normal family and they can’t support you, then you have to work hard first and save up all the expenses a baby will go through in the first three years. Based on my own cost of living, you need about 300K RMB. And once you run out of maternity leave 6 months in, you’ll need a job that pays minimum 8K a month.”

“My mom is trying to brainwash me into doing this too. That if I can’t find a good date, I can just skip it and find someone with good genes to have a baby with. She doesn’t care where my baby comes from, so long as I have one.”

“Forget whether or not the kid will grow up healthy without a dad. So long as they have enough money and love, they’ll grow up healthy guaranteed. Probably be happier without a dad. In some families, you can hardly tell the dad is around anyways, and some dads only bring harm to their kids.”

“This is so me. My kid’s dad is a Korean who graduated from Fudan who knew 5 languages. He’s a trust fund baby and his parents own a food processing plant in Korea. I met him on a business trip to China and every time he comes to China, we hang out. Never married, and ever since I got pregnant, I haven’t met up with him again. He knows the baby exists, but there’s nothing he can do about it. He sends me money all the time, and I just take it, but I don’t plan on ever meeting him again. He doesn’t even know my real name. I only gave him a bank account so he can send money to me. I don’t need money, but I’m greedy. I get a good six figures sent to my bank account every year.”

“So long as there’s enough money, who cares about whether or not there’s a dad? After all, a father’s love is silent. You can’t see it or touch it.”

“This totally works! I want my daughter to do this. This way, I don’t have to worry about her getting bullied by her MIL or husband. We’re all only children. Of course we’re going to be lonely when we get old. This way, the baby can take my name, and I’ll take care of my own daughter, and I’ll care about my own grandchild. Women can pass on their bloodline too.”

“My kid is already 9-years-old. At the beginning, my mom was the only one who supported the idea, but now, a ton of my relatives are secretly urging their daughter to learn from me.”

“I can do this in my next lifetime. Go to a National Defense university. The guys in there have clean background checks and won’t affect my kid from getting government work or enlisting, and they have good physical health too. Find a hot one, and if he’s good, we can get married, and if not, I can get rid of the father and keep the baby.”

“Girl, go to the University of Chinese Academy of Sciences. There are guys there who don’t wear glasses, and the key is, high IQ and good family background.”

“Lol, this has nothing to do with big cities being more progressive. It’s just a question of mindset. I did this too, and I’m not from a big city. But I also got rid of the father and kept the baby. My baby is in middle-school now, and I’m still single. I’ve got a house and a car and can support myself. Everything is great. Everyone comments on how I look really young to have a kid that big. It’s not that I’m young. I just haven’t had to deal with all that bullshit. I’m very content right now.”

“My husband is a PhD grad, and at the time, I wanted to just have his baby without getting married. He was just a good enough guy that I married him anyways. I gotta say, high IQ really makes a difference. I’ve never had to worry about my kid’s grades.”

“My cousin is like this. The difference is, her family demanded that she do this. She got pregnant after getting a Master’s Degree from Fudan University, and went onto her PhD degree after having the baby. Never got married. Getting rid of the father is pretty popular around here, because most families have no trouble taking care of a baby. My dad told me to learn from her. He’s already got a place right next to a uni.”

“My sister had my nephew this way. The guy was a postgrad student at Wuhan University. At the time, my sister conned him into applying for a job at my uncle’s company, and while going through the hiring process, they went and got him a physical check up and made sure he wasn’t carrying any defects in his genes. When my sister was 12 months along and confirmed there was nothing wrong with the baby, she immediately broke up with him and vanished. Then my uncle found some excuse to fire him and they went no contact ever since. Now it’s my cousin’s turn to do this.”

“My mom tried to persuade me to get a baby. I was like, “How?” She told me to find a STEM guy while doing my postgrad degree, get pregnant, and bring the baby home.”

“If you’re wealthy enough, this is a really good option. You can avoid marriage but get a kid that’s got good looks and good IQ. How wonderful.”

“Right? If you go with IVF, you don’t even know what kind of guy the sperm came from. If you date him yourself for a few months, at least you have an idea, and you can get pregnant directly.”

“Guys, don’t do this if you’re from a normal family. Not unless you’re financially independent or your family can offer strong economic support. Otherwise, you’re just a single mom, and it’s a bad environment for the kid to grow up.”

“Baby, look at this comment section. There’s no way you can’t make enough money in your whole lifetime to take care of just one baby. A lot of times, you’re only spending extra money to cover for your partner’s family.”

“You guys are all memeing, I actually went and got myself an ex-husband. Tall, okay looks, just super poor. Dated him, and married him once I got pregnant. At first, I was just going to get rid of him, but there was problems getting my kid a hukou [it used to be incredibly difficult to get your child properly registered if there’s no father]. As soon as I had the baby, I got a divorce, and I take care of the baby on my own. My mom was in full support once she saw how smart and pretty my baby was.”

“Why did I not think of this before I got married? The person who came up with getting rid of the father must be a genius.”

“Yeah, it totally works. Just make sure you make them get a physical checkup before dating them. There are more and more college students with AIDS every year.”

“Even better if you can get a place near the National Defense University, because there’s not gonna be any problems with background checks, health, and IQ. They’ve already been filtered out.”

“Right? No relationship drama. No cheating. No MIL troubles. No SIL/BIL conflicts. Just MIL troubles alone could cost you half your life. Women are rising.”

“Other people are still talking about how bride price is too high and we can’t give in to women, and women are already talking about getting rid of the father and keeping the baby T_T”

“My mom is keeping up with the times too. She told me once to go have a baby, never even mentioned finding a date XD”

“Families with only one daughter or where both kids are daughters, learn from this. Support your own daughter and grandchildren rather than some son-in-law.”