Question: “Chinese stir fry is so tasty, why don’t westerners learn how to make it?”
Answer: “When you can eat your fill of steak and lobster and oysters every day and have fresh salad with every meal, would you want to pour on a ton of oil and chilli peppers and salt to eat a bunch of animal offal?
When you lack resources, you have to pile on spices to hide the flavours.
Even among Asian food, Japanese reigns supreme, and even Korean and Vietnamese pho is much more popular than Chinese.”
Comments say, “Identified as a bunch of bullshit made up by someone who can’t afford Chinese.”
“Identified as someone driven to madness by lack of Chinese food.”
“This would be even more politically correct if their IP was in Shanghai.”
A video of Doja Cat’s performance at Coachella today, where she performs a lot of lewd moves in a pile of mud. I’m not sure if it’s lewd enough that youtube won’t let me post it, but I’m sure you can find clips of it on western social media somewhere?
Comments say, “Why does the west like such sexually explicitly performances so much?”
“Aside from Taylor Swift, it’s all the same in the west. Nobody can erect a chastity monument for their idol.”
“Who has a link? I want to recommend it to my roommate T_T”
“Okay, but my first reaction is how the hell can she sing so steadily while moving around that much??”
A long article about the latest hour-long youtube documentary the Spanish couple who was gang-raped in India posted (named “PENSABAMOS que nos MATABAN en INDIA - Vuelta al mundo en moto”)
The article summarises the points of interest from the video, which tells a story of how the couple was forced to build a tent outside of town due to a lack of hotels. Locals gathered to gawk while they were building the tent, and later returned after dark with machetes to subdue the couple. They gang-raped the wife and then left, and the Spanish couple rode a motorcycle looking for help until they ran into a police car. The police’s initial attitude was very nonchalant until they started making waves on the internet—that’s when the Indian government actually tried to capture the criminals. But the police still demanded that they delete their video and kept them from seeing reporters.
Because they knew the importance of preserving evidence, the wife didn’t take a shower until she made it to the city hospital over 70km away the next day. The couple expresses at the end that they’ve been to half of Asia and everywhere, the people have been friendly and nice, except Indians.”
Comments say, “I told you, they were only saying that “Indians are great, it’s just a couple who are the exception” because they were still in India and they didn’t dare to say anything else. Now that they’re back in Spain, they can tell us all the details.”
“Look at what that woman was wearing while camping! I can only say, she’s just a dung beetle who fell into a pile of shit.”
“Borneo is the excrement of world civilisation. That’s not just a saying.” [No, I have no idea what Borneo has to do with this either.]
“If you’ve been living overseas for a while as an international student, and go interview at a Chinese company overseas, it’s almost as thrilling as travelling back in time to the Qing Dynasty, or running into a Qing Dynasty zombie out in broad daylight in the 21st century. I saw an international student in Germany interviewing at some Chinese company on Xiao Hong Shu. The interviewer was the regional manager for Europe, and as soon as the interview started, he started in on, “No normal person would give up on a Chinese university to come over to Germany to study an even harder major, and take that many years to graduate, right?”
And the questioning went all the way to, “What year did you and your wife meet?” And the student was like, “This has nothing to do with this job?” And the regional manager was still a manager. I guess he’s never seen anyone who dared to refuse to answer his questions this way, so he freaked out real bad, went off about how he didn’t know why this guy was so sensitive. When the interview ended, he even “mercifully” shared a bunch of life experience, like you international students need to learn how to let down your pride, etc, etc, taking a loss might be a blessing in disguise, etc, etc, before he left.”
Comments say, “No normal person….this Qing Dynasty zombie can’t bear to see anyone living life to their own rhythm. Sigh.”
“Lol, his “dadness” is oozing off of the screen. This manager really thinks of himself as a court official.”
“One time, our regional manager was holding a meeting with HR and told them to “hire more current graduates from poor regions”, and everyone at the meeting went silent. He realised what he said and went, “Oh, right, anyone studying overseas in England is super rich.” And everyone fell into silence again. And he went right away, “Oh, so everyone in this room is a trust fund brat!” And I was just like, WTF.”
A compilation of “awful praises you’ve received from foreigners”:
“I’ve seen with my own eyes my friend get praised by a customer, “That girl is so pretty! Her face is like a perfect square!” My friend’s smile froze for at least 10 seconds.”
“When I was studying in Japan, Japanese girls would praise my hair all the time, because they think poofy hair is ugly. It has to stick to your scalp to be pretty. And they thin their hair out all the time. And I just genuinely don’t have any volume, and I sweat a lot, so my bangs are always a little greasy. I can’t believe they’d hate poofy hair. Such disrespect to the hair gods. Tasteless Japanese women.”
“I work in a tourist spot, and two Thai girls came by and said my coworker looked Russian, and I looked Japanese.”
“A westerner once tried to flirt with my friend, “Your legs are so thick! I love them!” We both went silent.”
“My Australian friend told me, “I’ve never met anyone whose eyes are both visible while in profile. It’s so magical!””
“When I was studying overseas in France, a local told me that I was so beautiful, I looked like Jackie Chan.”
“You’ve got such a big gap in your tooth. It looks super cute when you smile.”
“Forget foreigners. When I was in high school, the guy in front of me told me I looked like a doll. I was so happy, because I thought he meant a barbie doll. But when I asked, he said I looked like a matryoshka doll.”
“When I was in Japan, a hairdresser told me I was cute like a puppy.”
“I was riding on the bus and overheard someone say I looked like a brick, square and hard, that it was hot.”
“An Italian told me, “I’ll get mad if you keep using white powder to cover up your gorgeous tan skin.””
“My first roommate overseas found a local America boyfriend. She told me that she asked her boyfriend why he fell in love with her, and her boyfriend was like, “You’ve got such unique looks! Such a round face, and tiny nose, and little eyes, and tan skin, I just thought, “Wow, I’ve never seen such a beautiful woman in my life!”””
“I apologise to the Huarun Gas Company. I was in the wrong. I shouldn’t has posted anything. I’m begging you to let me go. I’m scared now. I won’t say anything in the future, or post anything to the internet. Please let me go T_T
I live at the very bottom of society in Suzhu’s Kunshan, and while I was surfing the internet, I saw a bunch of netizens from Chongqing exposing their problems with their gas bills, and how much pressure it’s put on their lives.
So I looked up my own gas bill, and that’s when I found out to my shock and horror, that since December 2023, our gas bill has doubled in price too!
It used to be under 100 RMB a month, usually just in the mid two-figure range. But after December, it doubled in price. I asked my coworkers in our group chat whether anyone else is experiencing this, and a lot of people replied that their gas had doubled too.
When I first discovered my gas bill had doubled, I thought it was because we took too many showers, and that drove up our gas cost. After asking all my other coworkers, and they all said they had the same problem, I started guessing that this wasn’t just my problem. This might be happening to everyone. So I typed up an article named, “Help, can anyone help Suzhou’s citizens? There’s something wrong with Suzhou’s gas bills too! Can anyone investigate this?” and posted it on 20th of April, 2024, 8:21PM.
My motives were really simple. As a normal, average citizen, I was just writing about what’s going on in my life. I didn’t realise how much attention this article would catch.
Around 4PM, yesterday afternoon, the Kunshan Huarun Gas Company called me and asked me if I was the one who complained about gas problems online. I said yeah, that it was me, so they offered to come over to my house to solve my problems and explain any of my concerns. In our phone call, they said their boss is very concerned about this and wanted me to delete my article. When I heard that, I knew shit was going down. I had kicked a hornet’s nest. After that, the Gas Company people hung up the phone and told me they would have a technician out to my house to check if something was wrong with my meter.
So I waited for them at home, and around 6PM, the gas company people came by. I thought it would just be one technician, but it was actually 5 people. As someone with a lot of social anxiety, I was completely caught off guard by so many people showing up in my house. I was kind of scared too. I thought it would just be a simple maintenance issue, didn’t think it would blow up this bad. It was two technicians, and a man, and a woman, some kind of managers I’m guessing? I didn’t ask. And another woman from the street office. When I opened the door and saw that many people, I was like, “How come there’s so many of you?” And they said it was because they couldn’t find my house and had to ask the street office for help.
After the gas company people came to my house, they explained to me why my bill went up since December, and changed my meter. They had great customer service, and patiently explained why my bill went up.
Since December, gas has risen in price by 0.28 RMB per litre or something? I don’t remember. It was something there about.
Since December is in winter, the weather is cold, so if you want water to get heated up to where you can shower with it, it takes more gas. And it takes longer to heat up water in the winter, so it uses up more gas.
When I heard their explanation and saw their friendly attitude, I felt really touched too. I thought things were over at this point.
Little did I know the worst was yet to come. Less than 20 minutes after the gas company people left, two policemen showed up at my door. They said they were putting up posters against internet fraud, and asked me how many people live in my household, where my husband and I work, and where our kids go to school. I told them the truth, and that’s how they learned where my husband and I work.
And then people from the government came to my husband’s company and got in touch with his boss, and told his boss to tell my husband to tell me to delete my article.
Like, I was terrified. How did it come to this? Why would they go to my husband’s company and talk to his boss? His boss demanded why my husband would report their company, because he thought that’s what the article was about. Even his boss was terrified.
My husband had to explain that nobody reported the company. I wrote about our gas problem. But even so, the boss started being on guard against my husband. I’m not eliminating the possibility that my husband might still lose his job over this. I’m really, really worried my husband might lose his job. Like, it’s not a great job. But if he lost it suddenly, got unemployed all of a sudden, we wouldn’t even be able to put food on the table. We’ve still got payments to make on the house and the car, and it’s not easy finding a job these days.
I’m just a normal, average citizen. I’m just writing about what happened to me. I didn’t lie. I didn’t make anything up. I didn’t spread rumours.
I just want Huarun Gas Company to let me go. I’m scared of you now. It’s just a personal issue. Why would you go to my husband’s company and tell his boss to put pressure on us?
I’m really scared. Before yesterday, the police didn’t know where my company was, but yesterday, they came to my house to register my work information, and now my company knows what’s going on too. I’m really afraid they’ll come to my company next and tell my boss to talk to me.
I feel personally in danger. Why would they go to my company? It’s to put pressure on me, right? What did I do wrong? Should I not have written about what happened?
I didn’t write this article for myself. I wrote it for the tens of millions of citizens who live in Suzhou. I’m really scared. I’m really scared for my life.”
Comments say, “Now do you know why everyone’s leaving? This is why.”
“This is the supposed “maintaining stability”. A lot of protesters got to experience this a couple of years back, when the P2P scam went off.”
“Our police are so great. They gotta service the people like the sign over their door says, and they’ve gotta collect information for the rich and wealthy on the side. They must work so hard. [sarcasm face]”
“When I was in Japan, a hairdresser told me I was cute like a puppy.”
One time when I was a little kid in my "girls are icky" phase my father told me that someday I'd want a girlfriend to cuddle with and I said no because I have a dog and dogs are cuter than girls. My father said "Well, if it's just some strange woman you see on the street then that's true, but if it's a woman you love then she's just as cute as a dog" and my mother went "wait a minute."
“I’ve never met anyone whose eyes are both visible while in profile. It’s so magical!”
Girl is a Picasso