It’s the first day of 2024! Happy New Year, guys! Instead of a normal post today, I thought I’d give myself a little break, and perhaps give you guys a little laugh by doing something a little different.
So, I’ve discovered a delightful Chinese youtuber lately, who also does a lot of history and political content, mostly covering the Cold War period. And because the names of Soviet and American presidents are a little difficult for Chinese people, the same way westerners might have trouble following Chinese history in a sea of very similar sounding names that you don’t know how to pronounce, he’s started a tradition of giving American presidents (and Soviet premiers) posthumous titles like Chinese Dynastic Emperors. For example, my favourite title is Franklin Roosevelt, the Eternal Emperor (because he got more term limits than everyone else).
So I thought I’d cover all these titles today, because it’s fun. Although the format in Chinese is always going to be 美X宗 or 美X帝, where 美 means America, and 宗 or 帝 means Emperor, and the X is a word that describes them. I’m going to be a little inconsistent in the formatting of my translations, because a lot of the words used to describe Emperors come with a lot of history, and can be hard to translate into English. So sometimes, you’ll see things like, John Kennedy the Emperor Who Died in the Wilderness. If you know a better one-word translation for any of these, please let me know!
Another warning, the less well-known Emperors tend to have more standard titles, because I assume only people who are seriously interested in history know about them. But the more famous an Emperor is, the more likely his title is to be a little jokey/meme-y. You’ll see this the closer we get to modern day presidents.
I’ll skip George Washington and John Adams, because the first two Emperors of any dynasty always has the same posthumous titles. The Founder, and the One That Came After.
Starting with Thomas Jefferson, we have Thomas Jefferson, the Scholarly Emperor. Note, that “Scholarly” (文) is considered the best possible posthumous title you can achieve as an Emperor.
James Madison is named the Legislative Emperor, for being one of the people to write America’s legal code.
Then we have James Monroe, the Famous Emperor.
John Adams, the Successful.
Andrew Jackson, the Visionary.
Martin van Buren, the One Who Loved His People. Apparently, for coming up with the 10 hour work day.
William Harrison, the Sad. That is, the one that people should feel sad for. For not lasting very long.
John Tyler, the Honourable. Here, specifically referring to military honours.
James Polk, the Warring Emperor. 武 here is a counterpart posthumour title to Scholarly before, as one of the two best titles you can have, and generally refers to the peak of accomplishment in military affairs, as opposed to the peak of accomplishment in civil affairs. And you know, for all the different American Presidents that I thought might’ve qualified for this title, I’m shocked that Polk ended up with it. What did he even do? Acquire California?
Zachary Taylor, the Steadfast.
Millard Fillmore, the Virginal. (oh noooo)
Franklin Pierce, the Frustrating. For using his Presidential veto 9 times.
James Buchanan, the Peaceful. Or perhaps the Peace-Seeking? Mostly for his work trying to prevent the Civil War.
Abraham Lincoln, the Heroic.
Andrew Johnson, the Pacifying.
Ulysses Grant, The Emperor of Stability.
Rutherford Hayes, the Solemn. It sounds like a meaningful title, but honestly, it’s a title that’s often just thrown at Emperors during whose reign not much happened and who did an unremarkably good job.
James Garfield, the Well Read. For creating the Department of education and running the census?
Chester Arthur, the Showoff. For…building the modern American navy?
Grover Cleveland, the Merciful. Apparently mostly due to his dealing with strikes.
Benjamin Harrison, the Stubborn.
William McKinley, the Slaughterer. Jesus Christ, what did he do??
Theodore Roosevelt, the Idealist.
William Taft, the One Who Followed His Heart.
Woodrow Wilson, the Talkative.
Warren Harding, the Famously Awful.
Calvin Coolidge, the Quiet. The One of Few Words.
Herbert Hoover, the Arrogant.
Franklin Roosevelt, the Eternal.
Harry Truman, the Awe-Inspiring. Mostly for throwing the bombs at Japan.
Dwight Eisenhower, the Conquering. Mostly referring to his work in the military during WWII.
John Kennedy, the One Who Died Far Away. Apparently, that’s a real posthumous title that’s given to Emperors who are assassinated away from the palace, 庄.
Lyndon Johnson, the Obstinate.
Richard Nixon, the Observant. Or, “keeps an eye on his environment”. An obviously ironic title.
Gerald Ford, the Forgiving.
Jimmy Carter, the Meek.
Ronald Reagan, the Great.
George H. W. Bush, the Militant
Bill Clinton, the Thoughtful. The one who thinks carefully before making decisions. Another obviously ironic title.
George Bush Jr, the One With Too Much Ambition for His Own Good. The word used here is 神, which was famously the posthumous title given to Ming Emperor Wanli, who was known for draining his treasury dry getting involved in too many wars during his reign.
Barack Obama, the Black. Yes, that’s all China has to say about him.
Donald Trump, the Knowledgeable. Because nobody knows more about X than him. :P
Stalin the Merciful, because the people of the Soviet Union at the time apparently referred to Stalin as “merciful father” (慈父). Obviously a deeply ironic title.
Khrushchev, of Bountiful Harvests. Mostly for his policy encouraging the farming of corn.
Brezhnev, of Many Medals.
Andropov, the Fleeting. Since he wasn’t around for very long.
Chernenko, the Sad. Since he also died pretty soon.
Gorbachev, the Surrendering.
Is it possible McKinley is "the slaughtered" instead of "the slaughterer"? He was rather warlike but he's most famous for getting assassinated by an anarchist.
Polk oversaw the largest military expansion in US history. Not the largest expansion of the US since most US expansion was not done by war. But he's the closest thing the US has had to a conquering ruler.
Calvin Coolidge the Quiet is a direct translation of his American nickname: Silent Cal. Famously, a woman once told him she had a bet with a friend that she could get him to say three words to her. He replied, "You lose."
US Presidents' American nicknames:
Father Washington (George Washington)
Old Sink or Swim (John Adams)
The Sage (Thomas Jefferson)
Little Jimmy (James Madison)
Old Cockhat (James Monroe)
Old Hickory (Andrew Jackson)
The Little Magician (Martin Van Buren)
Old Tippecanoe (William Henry Harrison)
The Accident (John Tyler)
Young Hickory (James Polk)
Old Rough and Ready (Zachary Taylor)
The Old Whig (Millard Fillmore)
The Old Public Functionary (James Buchanan)
Uncle Abe (Abraham Lincoln)
Sir Veto (Andrew Johnson)
Uncle Sam Grant (US Grant)
Dark Horse Rud (Rutherford B. Hayes)
Preacher James (James Garfield)
The Gentleman Boss (Chester Arthur)
His Obstinancy (Grover Cleveland)
Little Ben (Benjamin Harrison)
Wobbly Willie (William McKinley)
The Colonel (Theodore Roosevelt)
The Big Chief (William Toward Taft)
The Schoolmaster (Woodrow Wilson)
Wobbly Warren (Warren G Harding)
Silent Cal (Calvin Coolidge)
The Chief Humanitarian (Herbert Hoover)
The American Sphinx (Franklin Roosevelt)
The Haberdasher (Harry Truman)
Little Ike (Dwight Eisenhower)
The King of Camelot (JFK)
Bullshit Johnson (Lyndon B Johnson)
Tricky Dick (Richard Nixon)
Nice Guy Jerry (Gerald Ford)
Peanut Jimmy (Jimmy Carter)
The Great Communicator (Ronald Reagan)
Papa Bush (George HW Bush)
Slick Willie (Bill Clinton)
Dubya Bush (George W Bush)
No Drama Obama (Barrack Obama)
The 45 (Donald Trump)
Dark Brandon (Joe Biden)
It's worth noting that Brezhnev's is also rather mocking, even if also literally true.
Two men were awarded Hero of the Soviet Union four times. There was Zhukov, for being the head general for most of WW2 (and possibly for preventing Beria from taking over after Stalin's death), and there was Brezhnev, who basically just realized he could give it to himself as often as he wanted.