“A lot of times, girls who are dating don’t understand how much their parents do for their own good.
My niece just got engaged. She’s going to be marrying far away to Anhui.
My cousin were originally going to give her 100K as a dowry, but then they changed their minds. They’re going to pay a down payment on a small house in the small town that her in-laws are in, to put it under her name, and she’ll pay the remaining mortgage on it.
The down payment is 350K, and it’ll be 3000 RMB a month for the mortgage.
And they won’t be giving her the 100K dowry in this case.
From my point of view, as people from the Hebei countryside, my cousin really has done their best to give protection to their daughter who’s marrying far away. After all, they’ve got a younger daughter who’s in middle school too, plus old people to take care of.
But my niece is unhappy. She’d rather have the money than a house with a mortgage on it.
Since the down payment was going to be 350K, my niece said she’d rather just take 200K up front in dowry, because she’ll be under too much pressure if she had to pay back a mortgage. She won’t have enough spending money left. And her fiance’s family has a house that’s fully paid off. It’s under her future FIL’s name. She feels like she doesn’t need another house, she needs cash on hand.
Her future MIL agrees with her and also think her parents are putting too much pressure on her. After all, they’re all gonna be one big family. If they’ve already got a house, why do they need a second one? And one with a mortgage no less.
My cousin’s been so upset about this that she’s been crying at home.”
The top comment is a pinned one by OP: “My cousin’s mindset is pretty simple. She doesn’t really understand assets or appreciation or anything like that. She just wanted to pay a down payment for her daughter, and when her daughter has a baby, she can go help out. Or when she’s not busy with her fields, she could visit and have somewhere to stay. And if the young couple has a fight, her daughter has a place to run off to. And she thinks that paying money towards a mortgage is just a different way of saving it. After all, if the mortgage wasn’t around, who knows how quickly her daughter could run through that money. Young people are terrible with their financial habits.”
“Is this niece retarded or something? How old is she? Girls shouldn’t marry too young. They need to get out there and learn how society works first.”
“If she pays off the mortgage after marriage, it’ll be out of their family income, and so it won’t be simply her house. If they broke up, she won’t be able to stay in his small town and use this house anyways. And housing prices are plummeting so fast that it’ll be hard to get rid of it on short notice. With the real estate market the way it is, I wouldn’t want a house either.”
“My suggestion is to give her a 100K dowry, make everyone happy, and then your cousin can save up some money and pay a down payment on their younger daughter’s house, and make sure she doesn’t marry too far away.”
Lately, according to Japanese media reports, a 33-year-old girl was named by Japanese TV as the “most frugal girl in Japan”, because she managed to save enough money to buy three whole houses. According to the report, the girl made it her ambition at 18 years old to, “Buy 3 houses before 34, and then retire right away.” After graduation, she worked at a real estate company, and saved most of her salary, leaving just a little bit to live on. She kept her food costs every day to 200 yen (10 RMB). Now, at 33, she just successfully bought her third house, at 27 million yen (1.35 RMB). She makes 300K yen per month on rental income.
Comments say, “300K yen a month (about 15K RMB) is honestly pretty lower class in Japan. Like, solid lower middle class prole.”
“So what are you trying to say with this kind of news story? The economy’s doing badly, so you’re trying to encourage people to stop laying flat, and save money as hard as they can, and they can walk away with three houses too? Even if you made 15K RMB a month, and didn’t eat or drink for 18 years, you’d only have 2.7 million. Where can you buy three houses for that?”
“I can’t believe she can afford three houses after just 16 years of working.”
“Do you know why girls who talk the loudest about staying single and childfree always tend to be 21-26 years old?
I can tell you why~
Because they know that if they turn around tomorrow, they’ll be instantly surrounded by simps, and they can get married whenever they want.
All my submissions are like this. They wait until they’re 28 before coming to talk to me, about how the last of the beta orbiters they had is getting married now. And she saw the wedding videos and wow, it really moved her. It’s her favourite outdoor wedding + wedding bows + the groom teared up.
A lot of 21-26 year old young internet citizens think I’m just bullshitting you, but wait until you’re 36-42 years old and look back.
Every time I offer advice to 28-year-old girls, I’ll be extra harsh with them. Why? Because a lot of girls will think getting married is too hard, and get lazy, or procrastinate if I merely gently encourage them.
Girls. If you slack off when you’re 28, then you can wait to sift through scumbag men when you’re 30. What I’m saying sounds awful, but every time I tell my fans this, they listen. They don’t get mad at me, they know I’m telling them the truth.”
Comments say, “Being able to marry any time you want and being able to marry someone you like any time you want is two completely different concepts.”
“It’s cause they’re young and they’ve got options and backup plans.”
“There’s also the type of girl who just doesn’t have any destiny with men. They’re involuntarily celibate, and even divinationists can’t help them. What are they supposed to do, OP?”
Mrs. Zhao in Hangzhou has told us that she signed her 7-year-old son up for after school care. Since her son is a bit of a handful, she told the daycare beforehand that no matter how much trouble he gets into, they can’t force him to drop out. She needed that promise if she was going to sign him up. At the time, they totally promised it. But then, she got a nastygram, that said the teacher tried everything she could and she really just couldn’t manage him.
Comments say, “To save you on time, here’s the full context: Signed him up for 3 months of classes + transition from daycare to primary school, for a total of 7700 RMB. The kid stayed in class for almost three months before the daycare said they couldn’t handle him. She wanted a full refund, but the daycare only wanted to refund the remaining classes for 827 RMB. Mrs. Zhao isn’t happy with them, and decided to give up on her refund and expose them to the media. (Personally, I think the daycare was being pretty reasonable here. Kids need support from both school and their family. You can’t just send them to a trainer like a puppy and expect them to come back perfectly behaved.)”
“He must be significantly worse than just a “handful” then, if they don’t even want your money. You must have a little hellion.”
“Instead of wasting your time with the daycare, take your kid to get evaluated for ADD and autism. A lot of supposedly “difficult” kids actually have a legit problem. And if he doesn’t have either, then you really need to participate more in raising him as parents. You can’t offset some responsibilities by paying money for someone else to take care of it.”
Under the hashtag #papi-chan’s marriage is so progressive [which is about a celebrity or influencer’s marriage, where they each go to their own families for the holidays], a blogger writes, “Nowadays, in the majority of China, the tradition is still that after two people get married, they go to the husband’s family for New Years.
A married daughter is like spilled water. This saying isn’t so easy to uproot. But there are more and more only daughters these days, so obviously, conflict is going to arise about this problem. That’s okay. Society is growing. Even shitty traditions that’s been continuing for centuries will get eliminated eventually.
A son is his parents’ lump of gold, their crown prince. But a daughter is her parents’ precious princess. Seems perfectly reasonable for them to go to their respective homes and keep their respective parents company.
Some people say that a woman not going to her husband’s family for New Years after marriage is very selfish. Jesus, man, she just got married. She didn’t get orphaned. Who doesn’t have parents? Only going to your husband’s family for the holidays is way more selfish, isn’t it?”
Comments say, “Some people say that a woman not going to her husband’s family for New Years after marriage is very selfish? When men and women get married, they’re forming a new family. Married people need to understand that, and make their respective parents understand that too.”
“I’m marrying you, not selling myself into slavery to you. Don’t try to take my morality hostage.”
“If you don’t think it’s appropriate for them to each go home for the holidays, the husband could always just go to the wife’s family for New Years.”
Gansu Department of Education has formed a committee on the 19th to go to the site of the earthquake, and direct Linxia and Jishi Counties’ Department of Education to organise manpower to conduct search and rescue through their jurisdiction’s schools. Right now, there are zero casualties among staff or students in the boarding schools there. So far, Linxia has searched through 243 school, and accounted for over 48,000 students. And Jishi has searched through 2048 schools and 498K students. Students in boarding schools in Jishi County has been evacuated and resettled.
[A blogger writes about the Zhuling Case, where a Qinghua University student was poisoned cobalt. The killer at the time was incredibly obvious, and yet was never brought to justice due to her personal connections.]
“Although the killer in the Zhuling Case escaped the justice of the law, but this kind of highly jealous person won’t be able to live well, no matter how great a life she’s got. Because there’s always someone new for her to be jealous of. Just look at how jealous she got over her college classmate, before their grades even came out!
When she gets into society, there are going to be heaps of people better than her. And by the time you’re in society, you’ve got a whole lot more to be jealous of, than just grades and artistic talents and various student crap.
She can’t murder them all, right?
Not to mention, if this hadn’t happened, she could’ve become a genuine elite in society.
She’s got a first rate diploma, first rate family background, both at the perfect time. She had everything.
Even a pig could’ve become successful with her conditions. Back in her day, trust fund brats always made something of themselves so long as they weren’t truly retarded.
She could’ve been at the very top of society, getting media interviews every day, adored by everyone in society.
And she loves getting attention! Back in the day, on Tianya [an early Chinese internet forum], if it wasn’t for her need to show off, nobody would even know about this case. She even accepted TV interviews, and only banned the interview from being aired once her rationality came back to her and she got scared of the truth getting out.
But there are no “ifs” in life. She can only dream about that kind of beautiful life now. Right now, she might not have to worry about her livelihood, but that’s it. She’s going to be surrounded by people who started much lower than her, who’ve become more accomplished than her. And everyone who used to be her peers are far beyond her now.
She can’t go out in public very often. She can only hide in her family’s reach to enjoy their resources. Her entire life plan has to revolve around escaping her crimes. Can you imagine someone so competitive, so vain like that having to hide all her life?
Now she’s in her 50s too. And because of one moment of foolish evil, she’s ruined Zhu Ling’s life, and she’s ruined her own life too. Fate gave her an excellent hand, and she could’ve been a queen, but instead, she became a murderer.”
Comments say, “All the internet comments I see are all mad that bad people don’t get justice. I feel like this is a much more comforting way to think about the whole thing.”
“People who are capable of committing crimes generally have a pretty strong heart.”
“I’m sure this is exactly the kind of weibo the murderer wants to see get to the top posts. Good job, OP.”
"Not to mention, if this hadn’t happened, she couldn’t become a genuine elite in society."
I think there's a missing negative or something here.
Median income in Japan is 471,000 yen per month, so that seems about right.
Does the story say why she chose 34 as the cutoff year?