“How tasty does a cold dish [Chinese salad, basically] have to be to buy 100 servings in a year? I randomly opened up Hema’s comment section [app that sells produce] and was blown away…”
A random selection of the reviews that this guy left here:
“The 70th box I bought this year. You need to add Hema’s traditional sesame oil when you eat it. Add plenty of sesame oil or it won’t taste good. It’s got a very mild taste, great for people trying to control their weight. The stores are improving their inventory system so they won’t send out a whole bunch of orders all at once on the same day anymore, so you can buy these fresh now, up to 4 boxes at a time, enough for two days. Put it in the fridge as soon as you get home.”
“The 75th box I bought this year. I was going to buy 4 boxes this morning, but the workers this morning won’t get me fresh boxes. I went to the store on the afternoon and bought two boxes of fresh salad. You gotta add Hema’s traditional sesame oil when you eat it. Add plenty so it’s tasty. It’s got a very mild flavour and is great for people trying to control their weight.”
“The 83rd box I bought this year. You need to add Hema’s traditional sesame oil when you eat it. Add plenty of sesame oil or it won’t taste good. It’s got a very mild taste. The peanuts are on the softer side, and so far the wood ear fungus. I hope the supplier can improve their manufacturing process. It’s great for people trying to control their weight. If you’re not gonna eat it as soon as it gets delivered, put it in the fridge.”
“The 104th box I bought this year. Got 5 boxes and they gave me ones that expire tomorrow. Who’s going to eat that much salad in one sitting? Buying from Hema is like opening loot boxes. You’re gonna get whatever best-by date you get. Thank god all the other stuff I got doesn’t also expire tomorrow.”
Comments say, “I bought it after reading these comments. It really is great. It’s got the kind of magic that makes someone repurchase it 108 times. It’s really amazing. Add in sesame oil and it’s really not bad. For 8.9RMB, you can add a side dish to your lunch. It’s good.”
“I have no idea how many people got convinced by this guy that bought it over 100 times in a year. I bought sesame oil just like he said and it really is great with sesame oil…I can’t believe that I would love such mild food when I normally like strong tastes…doesn’t feel like there’s anything special about it. It’s just really tasty. I’ve repurchased 3-4 times now, hahahahaha. It’s so crunchy!”
“But which salad is it?? You can’t just not say that >: ( I want some too.”
“Lol, someone on Hema always comments under meat items “tasty af”, and I always look for his comment when I’m buying meat and I stay away from anything he hasn’t commented on.”
“Seriously? I’m buying some tomorrow for sure.”
“Got it. Ate it. Honestly, sesame oil tastes great in anything. Why would you waste it on this sad vegetable mix from Hema?”
“Who gets it, guys!!! Played this marital trouble themed murder mystery with my best friend. Now when we fight, not only am I not going to lose in the script, I’m not going to lose in real life either!!!”
A compilation of comments, “I never understood why anyone would play murder mysteries. Now I get it. I just never encountered a theme I liked.”
“Could I play the horrible MIL? I’m great at playing bitches.”
“Hahahaha, she had to hold onto her grandbaby the whole time.”
“I never used to be interested in murder mysteries. Now I am.”
“It’s great. I want to play it again.” [screenshot of a murder mystery box named, “Let’s divorce ASAP.”]
“Play it again and livestream it! I’ve never played a murder mystery before. I wanna see what you guys have to fight about.”
“It’s just about the guy’s mom wanting to pay less bride price and get more dowry, while the girl’s mom wants more bride price and less dowry, and getting dissatisfied at the engagement party plans and we started fighting. It’s honestly hilarious playing this with a good friend.”
“This is the murder mystery I want to play the most.”
“I’ve played this before, and my friend and I left with hoarse voices. It was a table of 5 girls, including us, and we almost flipped the roof off the house. We even scared the DM away.”
“Now I get what it’s like for an actress to find a script she really loves and really fights to act in even though her agent wouldn’t agree to it.”
“I’ve played something similar before and everyone got so mad.”
“After the game, all six people would have to get six separate taxis to go home. XD”
“I’ve played a tabletop roleplay before [like a murder mystery without the murder, I’m not really sure how to describe this] called, “If that’s all you have to say, there’s nothing I can do about it.” [a common passive aggressive line when couples argue.] The six of us argued for over 6 hours and got 6 rounds of drinks because we got thirsty from all the arguing.”
“Was it fun, though?”
“Yeah, but it’s nothing but arguing with each other, so I don’t recommend it if you’re on a date.”
“My friends are going to absolutely love this.”
“I want to play the mean SIL! I’m great at playing bitches!”
“I’ve played this before hahahahaha. I played the SIL [sister in law in the last comment was 小姑子, referring to the husband’s younger sister. Sister-in-law here is 嫂子, referring to the husband’s older brother’s wife], and I spent the whole time figuring out how to persuade everyone to go to the hotel I suggested for the banquet so I can get my kickbacks.”
“Wow! I wanna play this role! I wanna make money!”
“Could we not play this for company bond-building exercises? Add more characters, put in more aunties and aunties.” [that is, aunties on both the guy and the girl’s side.]
“You’ll die laughing if you go play with a friend.” [Photo of a roleplaying game named “Finding the Mistress”]
A compilation of regressing standards of living:
“Ten years ago, my wages were 4K, and a bowl of noodles was 5 RMB. Ten years later, my wage is still 4K, but noodles are now 10 RMB. It’s such a visceral example of economics. Inflation is about the price of goods, not wages.”
“My food budget every day is 3RMB, and I sleep more than 10 hours a day.”
“How do you do it?”
“Eat two meals a day, bread plus pickles. Honestly, when I first entered society and was trying to save up money, this was exactly how I lived.”
“You don’t get enough nutrition out of bread and pickles. You can eat a bowl of noodles with a bit of veggies and an egg for 1.5 RMB too.”
“10 years ago in 2014, yearly bonuses at a bank was 100K. Ten years later, we don’t have year end bonuses anymore and I make less than a third of what I used to make.”
“Because the real estate industry was doing well back then and people had money. Population was growing and labour meant money. Now there’s less labour so there’s less money.”
“Go ahead and make fun of me. I went to the clearance section for produce today. Last night, clearance persimmons were 3RMB per bag. Today, green beans are 5RMB a bag. It’s all half off. I don’t buy clothes so long as I still have something to wear, I keep my hair long, all I put on my face now is moisturiser and I only get sample-sized, and I don’t spend money on anything else.”
“I wait around for things to go on sale at the supermarket.”
“Save where you can. It’s just about survival right now.”
“I remember when I first started working 11 years ago, and I buy 800RMB a pair Belle shoes without blinking an eye. I’d go around Macao and buy shoes in the thousands even. And I could afford Ochirly clothes in the thousands too. Now I check Taobao and Temu when I’m buying just a pair of 80 RMB shoes.”
“I remember really clearly, in 2014, I worked in sales in Xi’an, and at the lowest, I made 3200RMB a month, and at the highest, I made 4200RMB a month. This year, in April, I got paid 2400 RMB.”
“20 years ago, if you heard rumours that someone got into uni and was getting paid 4K a month, everyone would be jealous of him in the village.”
“In 2007, in my first month of work, I made 2500RMB. Now I feel like I make less money than in 2007.”
“Forget brand name lipstick. My lipstick is expired and I’m still putting it on every day.”
“Same. So long as I’m not dead, then there’s no such thing as expired when it comes to my lipstick.”
“Last year, there’s still internet stories about husbands not letting their wives eat durian. This year, they’re fighting over just two shabby Swiss rolls.”
“Eight years ago, when I first graduated, I made 3500RMB a month, and a bowl of noodles was 4 RMB. Now the same jobs are hiring for 3500 RMB a month, but a bowl of noodles are 12 RMB.”
“No matter what kind of noodles you get around here [IP in Zhejiang], at the cheapest, it’s 100RMB for three bowls. And there’s all kinds of work for 4K to 5K everywhere.”
Those games sound hilarious. Could you post links or the titles in Chinese so I can search?
Also, if anyone can recommend any English-language social games with messy relationship dynamics, please do.