12/06/23 - A lot of hotels don’t accept international guests.
“Since school started in September, my kiddo’s gotten four fevers. Two of those came with pneumonia too. And she’s been coughing nonstop.
Since the flu is so bad this year, and she didn’t get the flu vaccine, I’ve decided to take her out of school for the last two months to rest at home.
But everyone in my family’s unhappy.
The kiddo’s grandpa says it’s all because I won’t let her eat this or won’t let her eat that, so her immune system is fucked.
But she’s prone to allergies to begin with, and she never watches what she eats. All I keep her away from is fried food, desserts, and things that cause too much heat. The sort of thing that makes her cough every time she eats it.
The kiddo’s dad says I spoil her too much, taking her out of school. If she doesn’t go to school now, how is she going to handle primary school later?
After several rounds of sickness, she’s skin on bones now, and all the adults are super sleep deprived. Taking her out of school temporarily gives both her body and us adults a much needed chance to breathe. Her dad is busy with work, so he has no idea she’s even been sick. I’m the one worrying all the time.
My mom says that I’m just too stressed out about my kid. I need to let it go. She thinks I should have a second baby, so I stop obsessing so much with my older one, and she’ll naturally get better.
I don’t even know what to say.
My aunt, who studied psychology, phoned me and told me her professional analysis, which is that this is all because I don’t go out and work. It causes my kiddo to subconsciously decide that she can spend more time with mommy by getting sick.
But although I haven’t gone out for work, since my kiddo started going to kindergarten, I’ve been working from home, and I make just as much money as any proper job. Due to my work, I have to constantly check my phone, so I actually feel like I’m not paying enough attention to my kiddo. And when my kiddo was being babysat by grandma, she gets sick too.
But if going out and working makes her less prone to being sick, I’m willing to do that too.”
Comments say, “The most ridiculous person by far is my mom, suggesting a second kid.”
“See? Normally, nobody gives a shit, but as soon as something goes wrong, it’s all your fault.”
“You’re the only normal person in your house.”
“A lot of people like to say that Asian men aren’t popular on the American dating market, or rather, they have very little options for sex. But Asian women are very popular with every race. But like, that’s not really all of it. The actual situation is much more complex than you think.
First, what Americans think of as a “date” or “dating”, their norm of a romantic relationship, is very different from China’s. In China’s POV, a romantic relationship is like an audition/trial period for marriage. At the very least, you’re not explicitly removing marriage from the picture, or else it becomes something outside of mainstream norms. Even if no one is going to judge you for it, it’s not the sort of thing you can do openly. The saying, “Only scumbags date without the goal of marriage in mind” is a great summary of Chinese dating norms, especially a couple of years ago when people were much more conservative.
But that’s not the case in America. There, dating is just dating. A date is just to check out if you’re worth dating, but dating doesn’t necessarily mean marriage at all. It doesn’t even necessarily mean a one-on-one relationship. It might be one-on-many. Unless both parties agree that this is an exclusive relationship, they have every right in the world to date other people or sleep with them. It’s very normal. To make an inappropriate comparison, it’s a little bit like Chinese blind dates—so long as you haven’t agreed to be together, you can keep meeting other people, and no one is going to say anything about it. Except in America, even if you’ve slept together, you might still not have confirmed to be “in a relationship” yet. I can’t say whether this is better or worse, but it’s how it is.
Dating in America isn’t a trial period for marriage at all. That is to say, they might not have even thought about marriage while dating or having sex with you. It’s just that as the relationship goes on and time passes, marriage turns out to not be a bad option after all, so they get married. From their POV, whether male or female, dating is like some sort of biological need, like you going out to eat because you’re hungry. So for Americans, dating is a much lighter issue than for Chinese people. You can also say that they’re a lot more irresponsible. It’s really up to your interpretation.
In this situation, everyone is going to choose sexy partners. What’s sexiness? It’s the same for men and women—good-looking, good figure, understanding, fit, lively. For women, just think about a cheerleader. For men, think of athletes. That’s basically a perfect date, like China’s Liu Yifei and Wu Miaozu [attractive celebrities].
Anyway, I’m getting off-topic. Why are Asian girls popular? I think a lot of people know that white people’s stereotypical impression of Asian girls is that they look like Lucy Liu (I’m not trying to be mean here, but she really does look super stereotypical). And Lucy Liu doesn’t really fit with the profile above. So why are Asian girls popular with white men? Because they have a weird mentality called yellow fever.
This is a hard word to explain, but some white men (or maybe black men too, I dunno) only date Asian girls. And the closer you get to stereotypical Asian looks, the more they’re into you. Just look at Eileen Gu. There could be a lot of unspeakable stuff behind this mentality. Maybe it’s one of the reasons below, maybe it’s several. You’ll have to decide for yourself. But I’ll try to list them all:
Stereotype suggests that Asian women are obedient and meek, and not as independent as white women. They’re better at taking care of men.
They see Asians as a lower race. They can’t get a date with a white woman, so they settle for an Asian woman, taking advantage of their “higher, more attractive race”. And honestly, it works on a lot of Asian women. Mainland Chinese people might not get this, because we don’t really ever submit like this, but for Taiwan or Hong Kong or even some ABCs…you know how it is.
Stereotypically, Asian women are smaller and look younger, and this might be a fetish. Some people say that it’s a substitute for pedophilia, and some people say it’s because we look like blowup dolls. Anyway, you get it. It’s super gross.
Colonialism. After all, everything is about sex except sex itself. Sex itself is about power. A lot of lower class white men can’t get their ego stroked by white women, so they come seeking it from Asian women. Like a sort of, “My ancestors used to own yours” mentality. This overlaps with number 1 and 2.
This isn’t rare at all. Why? You don’t even need google. You can hop on Chinese instagram, and there’s a ton of posts there. A lot of the supposed “Asian women are more popular” is just because there are pervs out there with yellow fever. If you eliminate this factor, Asian women aren’t that popular at all. After all, most people would rather marry someone who’s from the same culture and lifestyle as themselves.
But lately, China’s been developing a lot, and things have started to change. A lot of white men have discovered that Asian women, especially mainland Chinese women, will keep working even after marriage (don’t underestimate this point). And a lot of them have very successful careers. Basically, there’s a lot less pressure on him to maintain the household. Or they’re from super rich families, like mysterious Chinese billionaires. And the most amazing thing is, they’ll even bring their moms over to help take care of their kid, while they go out and work, or just demand their family send money. And these women only ask for emotional support from their husbands, they don’t need money at all, and don’t pressure them to pursue their career…
Who doesn’t want this kind of client?
A lot of white people who don’t particularly like Asians or even look down on Asians have started getting yellow fever that’s powered by money. Maybe it’s more accurate to call it RMB fever. They’re hunting for Chinese international students to date in college. And they’ve done a lot of market research too. Gotta find someone going through a Bachelor’s degree (richer), from Beijing or Shanghai…
And the opposite is even more obvious. Anyone in America knows that it used to be, if you were an Asian man, even if you’re a third-generation ABC, if you can marry a white woman, you can brag about it to your ancestors. But as China became richer, and more millionaires came into being, a lot of white women, especially those from Eastern Europe and Russia, started to love Asian men. After all, who doesn’t like an ATM?
I can only say, that if you have money, you can make the devil himself turn your millstone.”
Comments say, “How big of a sample size do you have to arrive at all these conclusions? I’ve been in America 5 years, and I’m only just starting to put this together.”
“I mean, it’s pretty simple right? If you’re rich, you’re gonna be popular no matter where you’re at. It’s got nothing to do with skin colour.”
“It’s true. The last two generations of international students, even if guys worked really hard and made a ton of money, they were still looked down on. Didn’t even dare to sleep with whores. And who knows what girls had to do for a chance to stay. But this generation of international students go to all kinds of parties and orgies. They blend in super well. And some men get super popular just because they’ve got great grades, not to mention girls. Honestly, sigh.”
A tiktok video of South Korean garlic bread:
Comments say, “That looks like a really nice knife.”
“GIMME A BITE GIMME A BITE GIMME A BITE.”
“They sell these in Wuhu too. I was amazed the first time I had one.”
“Jesus christ, the number of tourists coming to China from overseas has fallen by 96%!
Based on the Tourism Board’s statistics, we only had 477.8K overseas tourists in the first half of 2023. And in the first half of 2019, we had 8.56 million! That’s a 96% drop!
Based on statistics from January to October this year, Malaysia’s taken over as one of the top 10 sources of overseas tourists in China.
I don’t know if anyone else has noticed, but since the bottom half of 2019 to now, you see less and less foreigners on the streets these days, even in first line cities. You can only see foreign faces around universities now, where there’s international students from South-East Asia, Latin America, and Africa. The most eye-catching are all the African black people wanderign around everywhere.
I don’t know if these policies are trying to save things, but China’s decided to increase the number of countries that can come to China with no visa—opening up to France, Germany, Italy, Holland, Spain, and Malaysia one way.
Among these countries, Malaysia’s announced on the 26th of November that starting from the 1st of December, Chinese tourists can enter Malaysia for 30 days with no visa. But the problem is, Malaysia isn’t really a developed nation like Europe or America. When is Europe going to open up to Chinese tourists without a visa? That’s going to be a huge landmark for China’s international status.
I’ve written essays before about China disconnecting from the world. I’ve pointed out before that the most obvious effect of disconnecting is going to be disconnecting from people. If you start seeing less and less foreigners in China, where they’re impossible to find even in first line cities, then you can tell that China’s really disconnected from the world.
As for whether we’re voluntarily becoming isolationist or if we’re forced into it, I don’t think there’s much of a point in debating it. The result is still obvious.”
Comments say, “We’re still drowning in the delusion that we’re still at the height of the Tang Dynasty.”
“I love seeing you like this—incredibly worried and yet utterly powerless.”
“A part of it is all the self-sabotage we did with covid lockdowns. And another part is that I think everyone is poor. Vacationing in China is expensive and a huge hassle and not particularly fun, so why would anyone come? I’m a Chinese person and I don’t even like to do domestic tourism. The experience and the cost just isn’t on par with each other.”
“It’s just a pain for foreigners to come to China. A lot of hotels don’t accept international guests. And if you don’t have a payment app, then it’s not even possible to get on the trains, I don’t think.”
“Why does the girl say that her family’s plan is that if the parents get sick, her sister-in-law is going to need to quite her job? Because she’s scared. She also thinks that it’s naturally a woman’s job to take care of old people. If her sister-in-law does it, then she won’t have to. Of course she’s all for it.
In a patriarchal family, they start eating the woman first. No matter what your level of education, what your looks, if you’re a woman, then stand in line and wait to be eaten down to the bone. Some families eat their daughter before their daughter-in-law. Some families eat their daughter-in-law before they eat their daughter. But either way, no one is getting away.
When laws are enforced, they go after the males first. Since parents leave all their property to their son, when somebody needs to be sentenced for not taking care of them, the son gets sentenced the hardest. And yet, it’s always women who are panicking, who are assigning work to other women. I don’t know what they’re worried about.”
Comments say, “What if the sister-in-law won’t do it? What can they really do to her?”
“It sounds like if her sister-in-law won’t do it, their whole family will beat her until she agrees, or send her to jail.”
“Does she not know that her sister-in-law can leave any time? If she thinks she’s losing out, she can leave too. It’s just up to who has the harder heart.”
A tiktok video of a model accidentally stepping through the stage while going down a catwalk:
Comments say, “I feel like she could’ve just left one shoe behind on the catwalk, like Cinderella. It would look even better that way!”
“The girl who started clapping first is so badass!”
“The bag got absolutely soaked XD”
“In my junior year of college, my boyfriend’s mom fell and broke a bone. I rode on the train all day with him to visit her in the hospital.
The very first time we met, she told me, “You’re gonna have to take care of me for the next half a month.”
And then she told her son, “You’ve been travelling all day, go take a nap. Don’t worry, she’s got this.”
I was uncomfortable right away. I was spoiled by my parents growing up, how could I possibly take care of her?
So I was like, “Huh? What? I’m just his classmate coming by for a visit. I’m going home right after this.”
And then I went outside and broke up with my boyfriend who’s already getting ready for a nap.”
Comments say, “This kind of manly girl deserves all the happiness in her life.”
“See, this is the advantage of spoiling your daughter. If she grows up in a loving family, she won’t be desperate for love. And if she’s not desperate for love, men aren’t going to be able to trick her into being their free servant with some sweet words.”
“Lol, every cactus, potted plant, and dog I’ve taken care of has died. You sure you want me to take care of you?”