“Had a mentally ill pregnant woman come in yesterday on my night shift. She had been coming to our hospital for her checkups, and her biological and mental state was all normal throughout. And from the moment she started coming to us, neither her nor her family mentioned a word about mental illness history.
The day I had my nightshift, she was showering at home (4AM in the morning), and felt something flow out of her vagina and thought her water broke, and hurried to the hospital with her family.
The moment she rushed into the ER, she was screaming and crying. Because we needed to do a checkup, we had the family wait outside. That’s when the family told the hospital that she had depression (didn’t mention anything else). The moment the electronic doors closed, her mom and her husband were still yelling out side, “You have to work with the doctors. It’s not gonna hurt!“
Took off her pants, and it was completely dry, no fluid whatsoever. I had to use a dilator to open her up to take a sample of any discharge. Although I was doing my best to be comforting, gentle motions, plenty of warning, the whole process was still incredibly difficult. She never stopped screaming and crying and shrieking, even when I wasn’t touching her at all. Some confused families outside who had no idea what was going on was wondering if we were murdering people inside.
I asked her why she was crying, and she said she was scared it would hurt. So I asked her whether it hurt right now, and she said no. I asked her why she would cry if it didn’t hurt, and she said that she couldn’t control it, she was terrified.
We did the check, and there was nothing. Her water wasn’t broken. Whatever she mistook for a water break was probably just normal vaginal discharge, or leaked pee.
Once she calmed down, I chatted with her and finally learned her situation.
She has bipolar disorder. Two years before she got pregnant, during an event where her mother, “I don’t remember, I forget what she was trying to make me do”, she “took something and stabbed myself”. Once she recovered her lucidity and was found by her family, her bed was covered in blood. She was sent to a mental hospital and diagnosed with bipolar.
For the last two years, she’d been taking medicine on and off, 4-5 different kinds. She’s fine when she’s taking the meds, then she’ll go off of them and get bad again.
She met her current husband on the internet, and he knows about her mental illness. He’s 5 years younger than her, and they married and got pregnant.
Her checkups were all smooth, until the 37 week checkup, where the doctor saw she had rather strong and regular contractions on the foetal heart monitor, and wanted to check whether her cervix was open. She was very resistant and only barely agreed with the persuasion of her family.
A cervix check when you’re not in the middle of labour is very uncomfortable, but most pregnant women can bear with it. It only takes 30 seconds to a minute for the doctor to feel your cervix. Once the expecting mother actually goes into labour, various hormones will relax the vagina, and it becomes a lot less uncomfortable to get checked.
After her first cervix check, she went home and obsessively recalled the details of being checked, and fell into some kind of emotional whirlpool and broke down. Then, she started getting bipolar symptoms again.
She said she was terrified of pain, didn’t want to have another cervix check, and wanted a C-section.
I told her that if she’s currently having a mental episode, and her emotions are extremely unstable, and can’t cooperate, and might even lose control completely, then we can go to a C-section right away, because she won’t be able to work with us on a vaginal delivery.
But C-sections hurt too. We have to tear open layers of your stomach for a C-section, to create an opening for the kid to come through. No matter how small the scar on your stomach, you can’t avoid the fact that your stomach was ripped open. It’s going to hurt. Even if you had painkillers afterwards, it would only make it hurt less. Could she accept that?
She said that her family had warned her of this too, but she thinks she can. Either way, it was better than another internal check, and much better than a vaginal delivery turned C-section.
I asked her if she planned to breastfeed afterwards, or use formula.
She said that her family agreed if she can do it, she’ll do it. If not, then they’ll use formula. They’re just gonna wing it.
As progesterone levels drop sharply after labour, even normal women can end up with symptoms of anxiety and depression. Combined with having to breastfeed every two hours and lacking sleep, it’s not rare at all to get postpartum depression or PTSD.
And her?
You can’t decide in the moment whether or not you’re going to breastfeed, because breastmilk is going to be produced over 2-3 days after birth. If you don’t breastfeed, it’ll clog up. If you haven’t started breastfeeding yet, clogged ducts hurt even more than usual. So even if you don’t want to breastfeed, you have to open up your milk ducts, or else they’ll get infected, and that’ll hurt a lot worse than childbirth. Because there’s at least a break between contractions. No matter how much it hurts, you know it’s going to end at some point. But an infected milk duct might not.
Normal woman can handle it themselves, but for a mental patient like her, I don’t think she should wing it. In order to keep her emotions stable, she needs to preemptively stop breastmilk production, and start taking mood stabilisers right away, and make sure she gets plenty of rest to fight against hormonal imbalances after childbirth, to maintain normal behaviour. It’s fine for the kid to be bottle-fed only.
If she lost control of her emotions, she might end up self-harming, suicidal, or hurt the baby. That’s a much bigger risk than whatever benefits breastfeeding brings.
She needs to plan ahead of time, and not just leave it up to what she feels like at the moment. Just like picking STEM or Humanities for your college entrance exams. If you picked Humanities in second year, that means when you’re applying to universities in your third year, you have nothing to do with STEM majors anymore. You need to have an idea of what you want to do before you choose your subjects. If she doesn’t take medicine to stop her breastmilk, then she’ll be forced along by the biological process of making milk:
Afraid of pain so she’s not willing to clear her ducts —> ducts get clogged —> even more painful now —> triggers emotional breakdown —> gets separated from the baby for both of their safety —> emotional breakdown gets worse.
I told her my thoughts, and suggested she give up on breastfeeding and start taking her mood stabilisers as soon as possible, since she’s already presenting symptoms of emotional distress. But she would still rather listen to her family and just see how it plays out.
Nothing I could do about that. After all, she’s still a grown adult with her own agency. She only loses control when she’s in pain. She’s very stable when just laying here, looking at the foetal heart monitor. She can communicate and cooperate normally. She’s not a retard. She’s not beyond communication.
But after she left, I didn’t want to worry about her anymore. I started worrying about the other expecting mothers and babies in her delivery room when it’s time for her to deliver. If the labour and delivery ward was particularly busy that day and the room was particularly packed, and she wasn’t willing to go to a singles room, and she lost control in a communal delivery room and started screaming or hurting herself or others, that’ll become another huge hassle.”
Comments say, “Can’t you make an exception and apply for a single room for her?” OP replies, “But if other people copy this idea and even write up a guide online for how to get a free single room at the hospital by pretending to have a mental problem, then isn’t that unfair for the mothers who paid extra to get a single room? Plus, single rooms are meant for high risk mothers and mothers who booked them ahead of time. We don’t have any single rooms free right now.”
“Mental illness will get passed down, so I can already imagine the tragedy continuing in this family.”
“People say giving birth is super painful, but I vaginally delivered an 8 pound baby, and didn’t think it was that big a deal. People say infected ducts are really painful, I got clogged ducts and cleared them manually myself, and my breastmilk was pink when it got squeezed out. And I didn’t think it was that big a deal. But when I had to get my cervix checked before delivery, the entire second floor of the labour and delivery ward was filled with my screaming. My mom was freaking out downstairs, worried I was dying or something. Later on, I refused to get more checks, and just went into delivery when I felt like I was far enough along. The only PTSD I have about giving birth is this check.”
A blogger posts screenshot of a tiktok video about a news story, where a man from Heilongjiang passed out while feeding his pigs, and the pig ate his genitalia. He is currently in stable condition now.
As well as a compilation of comments underneath, “Cool fact: Pigs are omnivores. They’ll eat anything that’s laying still in front of them for a long time, unless it’s too hard to chew.”
“Reminds of me that guy in the west who killed like 40 people and fed them to pigs…His pig would get excited every time it saw people. When they investigated the pig sty, it chased the police around trying to chomp them…”
“I heard a story of a lady who passed out while feeding the pigs, and was on her period at the time. The pig smelled blood and started eating. When they discovered her, all her innards were gone.”
“I’ve heard stories like this from my grandma too, of pigs eating people. Like, a 70-year-old grandma went to feed the pigs and got knocked over by them, and couldn’t get back up again, and got eaten by the pigs. They even licked all the blood clean in their pen. Just left a skeleton. The family only went searching when the old lady never came back at night. Spent all night looking too. It was only when they went to feed the pigs again that they found the clothes and bones in the pig pen.”
“Pigs will eat everything. Had a guy in my village who was cleaning the pig pen, and suddenly had a stroke. By the time they found him, he was mostly gone.”
“My hometown’s had a case of pigs eating people too. There was a family who was super poor, and their kids slept on those clay beds that were super short. They had a pig that was starving in their house, and one time, he managed to get free from his pen, and ate the two sleeping kids. Both of the kiddos died.”
A tiktok video of a little kiddo making hotpot in the garden:
Comments say, “Stop making scripted videos with your kid and teach him some proper knowledge.”
“It’s so fake.”
“This kid had potential. He’ll never worry about what to eat. So independent when he’s so little.”
“Look how fresh it is! Straight from farm to table! And he even wiped the chopsticks he gave to his dad. He’s so happy with his little hotpot, even with how smoky it is. Most importantly, he has a really enthusiastic dad. Just read a news story of a girl who made a whole table of food for her mom, and her mom was a total bitch about it.”
“I broke up right before my wedding.
I’m a woman, came over to America with my whole family in high school. Now my whole family is American citizens. I’m an only daughter, master’s degree in engineering, started dating a Chinese international student in the same uni as me when I was 23. He’s younger than me by 3 years, and has been studying in America for almost 7 years. We were together for ten years.
(I need to clarify a little detail about family background. My boyfriend is wealthier than me. He’s from Shenzhen. They live in a standalone mansion in the heart of Shenzhen, and he’s studying overseas. You can tell how wealthy they are. If he left me, he’d still be a great catch. Their family business only employs about 20 people, but if you add in the real estate they own, he’s clearly much better off than my family, who are all normal salarymen.”
In January, my whole family and I visited China again, to talk out the details of marriage. I ended up breaking up with him once I met his parents.
My boyfriend used to work at a big tech company in America, and was laid off during covid and returned to China. He has three older sisters, and has the highest diploma in his family. His sisters only went to community college. His oldest sister is married. His second sister is 3 years older than him, and his third sister is one year older than him. We have no problems getting along, but his parents are not happy at al about my age, so they named the following demands.
I’m 33. I need to hurry up and have kids. I need to have three kids to start with. If one of them is a boy, we can stop. If not, I need to continue until I have a boy.
Because my boyfriend’s family owns a small business, their whole family works there, so his mother has to go to work. They demanded that my mom return to China to help raise three kids. But they didn’t invite my dad back to China. My mom refused because her and my dad have work in America, and they can’t retire until 67.
Everyone in his family lives together. His oldest sister is married without a house, so her and her husband, plus the other two sisters, and the grandparents, and his parents, all live in the same house. He want me to go back to China and live with them too, for at least 5 years. After I’m done having three kids, they promise to pay me 4000 RMB per month. But I need to work in their business to earn this “wage”.
His grandpa is paralysed in bed. They want my mom to take care of three kids during the day, as well as cook for the whole family, and take care of the grandpa. The grandpa has a nurse on hand, but the nurse doesn’t cook so my mom needs to cook for him.
I need to stay in China for 5 years to have kids, but because I’m an American citizen, I can provide the consulate with proof, so that my kids can be American citizens despite being born in China. I didn’t even know I could do that. His parents researched everything. That’s the most ridiculous part to me—even though I’m an American citizen, I always thought I had to give birth in America for my kids to have citizenship. His parents clearly researched into this very thoroughly. They came prepared.
25K RMB bride price, no wedding, because our family traditions are too different. I’ve gotten a lot of comments saying that I just didn’t think they offered enough money. You guys are absolutely right. Because I told him before hand that I was going to buy him a brand new car in America as my dowry.
After five years, if their business expands, we can continue in America, expand the business, get my boyfriend overseas, spend three years getting him citizenship, then pull the rest of his family over to America too. At that time, they want my dad to help out a lot, since we’re family and all~
His sister made more demands too, I won’t go into all of them. When we came back from Guangdong, my dad was so furious he wouldn’t talk to me. Then he got covid, so we couldn’t go back to America right away.
Every sentence they spoke dripped with contempt for my age, and their pride towards their son, and their annoyance that he would date someone like me. They are willing to compromise and allow me the privilege of marrying into the family, but they want my mom to serve their whole family well.
The most important part was that I had to screw my own mother over, and abandon my own dad.
I’ve already decided to break up, but I’m still so angry. I payed five figures for wedding photos before we broke up. I bought him an apple computer and phone for New Years. I want the money back, but my mom says to leave it alone. She doesn’t want to deal with them any more than is necessary.
My boyfriend wouldn’t agree to the break up, came over to my house to cry several times. Right now, I’m ghosting him.
But I’m so angry. At first, I said that if he’s willing to come back to America, I’ll still marry him, but there’s no way I’m going back to China.
My parents wouldn’t agree though. They said so long as I marry him, I’ll keep compromising my bottom line. My dad is okay with me not marrying for the rest of my life, so long as I’m happy.
Breaking off a 10 year long relationship is obviously super upset. But it’s not like I could handle not breaking up either. All my extended family knew I was getting married soon. When they heard what my boyfriend’s family wanted, my aunt slapped me and told me to never date from Guangzhou. (I’m just complaining, not being prejudiced against Guangzhou. It was just super scary.)
Now I just want the end of the month to be here already, so I can leave.”
Comments say, “These demands are so obviously coming after your inheritance as an only daughter.”
“How the hell could you date a man like that for ten years?”
“They want to milk your entire family dry to make you into stepping stones for their family.”
A tiktok video of a halftime show at a school sports festival, where a man effortlessly becomes the centre of attention:
Comments say, “In the beginning, didn’t a pair of two girls go by? Did they do this on purpose!?”
“How are the flag carriers holding their laughter in??”
“Hahahahaha they never dared to look each other in the eye the whole time.”
The condescension in the story about the pregnant woman is terrible! Glad one of the commenters pointed out the procedure can be really painful. Some women respond really horribly to IUD insertion and this story makes me think she's someone with increased sesitivity there (or the doctor f-ed up the original cervix check)
Ok communal delivery room drama is worth calling out but WTF ARE THOSE PIG STORIES?! I truly have no idea if that's pure urban legend (the "picked down to skeleton" one seems really unlikely) or if there is an element of truth here? Pigs will def eat anything but living people who presumably just don't wake up as they are eaten alive? 🤨