[It’s our monthly FAQ time! If there’s anything you’ve always been curious about China or some context you feel like you’re missing, go ahead and submit your questions here! I’ll do my best to answer them! Thank you, all of your guys, for all your support!]
“How shameless can someone get?
Last night, I went to a dinner with an uncle of mine, and the topic drifted to abductions.
This uncle was a policeman. He said that over a decade ago, he rescued a girl who’d been sold to the deep mountains.
The girl was a student at a university in Beijing. Because she wasn’t careful with who she became friends with, unfortunately, she got abducted to some poverty-stricken place in the north-west. It was a close friend of hers, so she never even thought to be wary.
The family who bought the girl was super poor. They had two sons, but they could only afford one girl, so she had to serve both husbands, one after the other at night. The older one was 35, the younger 31.
At first, she resisted very strongly. The two brothers were soft and weren’t willing to beat her, so they couldn’t really control her. The villagers ridiculed the two brothers for being wusses, that they can’t even deal with their wife, and even gave them ideas, urging the two brothers to beat her, to slap her around, to make her sleep in the pig sty. The two brothers listened for long enough that they became hard too.
The girl had to do a lot of work during the day. If she doesn’t complete them well enough, she’ll get beaten at night and lose food for a day. If she fights back, they’ll burn her with cigarettes.
The girl ran out away twice and failed both times. Afraid that she’d run away again, they beat her until her right leg was broken, and told the whole village to watch and make sure she didn’t run.
When the uncle went to rescue this girl, his police car was almost smashed to pieces by the villagers. A couple of old ladies laid down in the middle of the road and yelled that if he was going to take her, he’d have to drive over them too.
When the two brothers were arrested, they screamed at the girl that, “Buying you was the worst fucking decision I ever made! You’ve been at my house for two years, and never even got pregnant, and you dare to fucking call the cops!? Even if you get out, you’re still a slut who’s been fucked by two men! What kind of man would ever take such a fucking whore in!?”
As for the villagers, they all cursed this girl for being an ungrateful bitch, that the brothers fed her and clothed her, and she wanted to run without even having a baby first, and even sent the brothers to jail. They cried about how “people’s hearts are rotten these days!”
This isn’t a story about one person’s shamelessness, but a whole group’s shamelessness.
And in addition to shamelessness, there’s also ignorance.
It’s hateable, pitiable, tragic. I hope stories like this will stop happening.”
Comments say, “In some places, you have to flatten everything first before you can start building.”
“Well, can’t arrest them all, so I guess we’ll just keep letting them get away with it.”
“My classmate is in Shanghai with her granddaughter. In the same building is a woman from Xuzhou who’s also here taking care of her granddaughter. She said that she was abducted. The first family she was taken to was super poor, so she threatened to kill herself. The seller for afraid, so he took her to Xuzhou. She saw it wasn’t too bad there so she stayed.”
“Are there still people who claim that socialism was a mistake? Changing the ecology of a place is vitally important.”
The Eastern Theatre Spokesperson issues a statement on US and Canadian warships passing through the Taiwan Strait. The PLA organised navy and air force forces to follow and stay on alert the whole way, in accordance with the law. The troops in the area are maintaining a high level of readiness, determined to defend their country’s sovereignty and regional peace and stability.
Comments say, “It used to be that they only hang around our door. Now, we do it to them too. Here’s a screenshot from the news last year. [Attaches news story of Chinese warships in America’s Autonomous Economic Zone].”
“We just see a couple of lines on the internet. We don’t see how many people are working hard for this country and it’s people. So grateful you exist.”
“I’m sick and tired of hearing shit like this all the time.”
“Have you ever discovered that outside of the school gates, working moms and housewife moms are visibly different? You can tell just looking at their hair.
When full-time moms are picking up their kids, they don’t bother to clean up or dress up at all for this short period they’re out of the house. They just go with whatever is comfortable. To get more time, some people even go out without a shower or brushing their hair at all. Makes them look really exhausted. Their whole vibe is all fucked up.
But working moms have neat, tidy hair, even done up in a bun or a pony tail, or cut in a neat bob, with a little bit of makeup, some lipstick. They look really smart and energetic.
What do you feel?”
Comments say, “Full-time moms think of picking up their kids as a big deal and will put on full make up for it. After a whole day at the office, all the working mom’s makeup is already running.”
“The reality is, working moms can’t pick up their kids at all, because kids get out of school earlier than adults get off of work. And if they’re occasionally dropping by to pick up the kid because they happen to be in the area running some errand for work, they don’t have time to stay neat and made up after a whole day of work, and they no longer have any energy. Any smile is forced onto their face.”
“Most full-time moms are super rich and spend a lot on gyms and skincare. What age do we live in?”
“Have you ever actually gotten a job? Aside from like female bosses, what normal average salaryman has time to put on make up every day?”
“Lately, Korea’s been doing a lot of business with Saudi Arabia and making a lot of money, so a lot of Korean reality shows started filming in the middle east. But Middle Easterners have a really bad impression of Korea, because a lot of Korean missionaries like to go preach there. And a lot of Korean Christians actually have the ambition of turning Korea into “Jerusalem in the East”, and they put a lot of effort on their missionary work in China and the Middle East, even trying to scam Chinese people into going and doing missionary work in the Middle East.
Stop bragging about Korean culture. I’ve read before Korean media bragging about how “K-pop is taking the world by storm”. But in Europe and the west, when they see an Asian face, they still try Chinese first, and then Japanese, and Korea is behind both China and Japan. That’s really made a lot of gooks flip out.”
Comments say, “I remember a Korean preaching about Christianity at some Muslim stronghold, and then ended up getting killed.”
“This is a really weird trending post. I don’t really see any big attitude change towards Koreans from Muslims. This better not be another case where spies are buying trending posts ridiculing Korea, then shooting down their own post, and then building up hype about China being racist against Koreans.”
A tiktok video for how to make salt grilled pork liver:
Throw an entire pork liver in the pan, then dump in a whole bag of salt. Flip the liver, to make sure it’s evenly covered on all sides. Turn the heat down and let it cook for 30 minutes. Then, scrape off all the salt, take it out, thinly slice, and eat. If you’re from a wealthy family, you can put some chilli powder on the side and dip your pork liver in it.
Comments say, “Is it actually good?”
“Wouldn’t it be super salty and gamey?”
“Don’t you have to use rough salt for salt grilling?”
“Just read a novel, where the main character’s company was haunted. In the middle of the night, she was working on her excel sheet at her cubicle, totally focused on her work until past 10pm, and suddenly felt it got really cold. And strength got drained out of her, and her vision went blurry, and it felt like someone was strangling her. Even so, she kept typing away and doing her work. And then, suddenly, she saw all the numbers disappear off of her excel sheet. It turned into thousands of grids of “GO AWAY”…
I don’t know what anyone else felt reading it, but if that was me, I would die right then and there of a heart attack, and then beat up ghosts all over the world, because how dare he fuck up my work!! I worked hours and hours of overtime on that excel sheet!!!!!”
Comments say, “I immediately went and checked out this novel, and the author even attached an image of what it looked like hahahahahaha”
“Honestly…it’s only 10pm…everyone’s still at work in my office. Feels like the author doesn’t have a lot of employment experience.”
“I’d go ahead and pass out and wait to be discovered by my coworkers the next day. That way, I can get sick leave.”
“A lot of men freak out when they see girls’ parents buy them houses or cars, because it used to be that, usually, a girl’s parents wouldn’t give her any material support before marriage, and just give her a lump sum in dowry when she got married. Or else they’ll pay towards remodelling the groom’s house. Or else they’ll buy their SIL a car, to show that they’re not taking advantage of his bride price.
Either way, all their assets are subtly flowing towards the man. In this case, the man is getting most of the profit. On the surface, it looks like a woman gained a permanent home by getting married. But actually, the only person who really achieved sharing wealth is the man. That’s why men would show off to each other and brag about what kind of car his in-laws bought him.
In this kind of context, men tend to see unmarried women’s family assets as their future property. It’s something they already see as theirs. If you spend this asset on yourself beforehand, of course they’d get mad at you.
It’s just like how men flip out when women have any kind of expensive hobby, like following celebrities, or travelling. In his eyes, that’s all his money. Even though you have nothing to do with him, if this culture got popular, then men would start panicking about it cutting into their profits. Of course they’d try to stomp out as many as they could.
In the modern day, we might think this is ridiculous. And I’ve read a girl saying that men seeing everything as rightfully theirs is schizo behaviour. But these ridiculous ideas and fantasies exist because they used to happen all the time. However much we think it’s ridiculous now, that means it was that commonplace and normal back in the day.”
Comments say, “Yeah, if it’s harming their profits, of course they’d flip out. Men don’t understand love. They just understand whether something benefits them or not.”
“In men’s eyes, women are just their sources, something they can make use of.”
“This is why you should give everything to your daughter before marriage, and teach her feminism. Once you have financial independence, you really can dump any man if they screw up, even after marriage.”
“Business wars in reality is all about maintaining good relations with the cleaning ladies.
Today, let’s talk about the cleaning ladies in my best friend’s company.
She works at a big business. They own the office building they’re in. All the janitors are on long-term contracts and their jobs are very stable. So my best friend would often give her empty boxes to the cleaning ladies. After a while, these aunties because super friendly with my best friend and would often gossip with her.
But a lot of leaders or coworkers will completely ignore a janitor in the same room like some background NPC when they’re talking, or even making private phone calls. And cleaning ladies are like NPCs in another regard—they store information super well.
Once, when the cleaning lady was cleaning the boss’s office, she head the boss making a call about some important HR adjustments, and immediately told the news to my best friend. My best friend heard her immediate supervisor is getting laid off soon, so she immediately started preparing to compete for the position.
The aunties also memorised all the clients that come and go.
One day, an auntie secretly told my best friend, “Oh no, your [so and so] customer is getting poached! Just after you walked [so and so] out, I saw Zhang chase out to the parking spot and give his card to your client! Auntie Wang [another janitor] saw and she immediately told Auntie Lin [another another janitor} and she told me! Watch out!”
My best friend was shocked. And while she was grateful, she also remarked that the aunties have already achieved distributed data storage.
The aunties keep a close and subtle eye on the information flow within the whole building, automatically filter out irrelevant information, and give the right people the right pieces of info.
At that moment, my best friend really felt that no AI can compare to these aunties. She could effortlessly obtain useful information with just three aunties. A business war in the real world is all about the aunties.
From this point on, my best friend carefully stored and sorted her takeout boxes, and regularly pay tribute to the aunties.”
Comments say, “There’s a major all about this in western universities called Public Relations.”
“Wu Zetian got her success in her early days with an information network of palace maids.”
“Never thought cleaning ladies could be so useful. I’ve got to get around to it too.”
An askreddit question, “Why don’t westerners come to vacation in China anymore?”
The top-voted reply is, “Maybe it’s off-topic, but honestly, it’s hard for Chinese international students to return to China.
I came back to China after covid, and even though it’s only been a couple of years, I feel like it’s a completely different era now or something.
Covid’s ended, but plane tickets are still super expensive. I could only get a ticket to Hong Kong that laid over through Paris.
It wasn’t too expensive, 500 Euros to and back, plus some luggage and stuff brought it up to 600 Euros.
It wasn’t too bad when I landed in Hong Kong. Used the airport WiFi to buy subway tickets to downtown. Since I’ve never been to Hong Kong, I thought I’d spend a couple of days there.
But even in Hong Kong, I could sense something was wrong. I’ve looked it up on the internet before, and all the guides said that I could get a sim card once I was in Hong Kong. But once I arrived, even a temporary card required a national ID and a passport. I’m only staying 3 days. I’m not gonna use that much data in three days. So I gave up and got an e-sim card for 7 days, 3 USD, 2GB of data.
Aside from my phone not having any data, everything else was fine. It was pretty comfy overall.
But that all stopped once I came to China.
I rode a car from Hong Kong to Futiankou and entered China. Everyone else scanned their Hong Kong/Macau Travel Pass and went on ahead, but I got stopped.
“Which country are you returning from?”
“Why did you leave there?”
“Where are you from?”
“Why are you coming to China?”
“Where did you go to school?”
“What’s your major?”
“What kind of work does this major do?”
“What courses have you taken?”
“Why haven’t you come back to China in the last couple of years?”
“If you’re from Jiangsu, why are you touching down in Shenzhen?”
“Why are you coming in from Hong Kong?”
“Have you ever come back to China illegally in these years?”
“Why is your passport empty for these years?”
“Your visa’s been expired for several years. What have you been doing in these years?”
“I’m warning you to think carefully. What have you done?”
A stream of questions hit me, and I honestly don’t understand. Has he never met an international student before or what?
The visa on my passport is for me to enter some other country. Once I entered and I switched over to a green card, that’s not going to leave a mark on my visa. And just running around countries in the EU doesn’t require a passport or more visas either.
Either way, they studied my passport for a long time, had a lot of quiet discussions between themselves, and only reluctantly, unwillingly gave me a stamp and let me in.
I hold a Chinese passport, not a foreign passport. Was this really necessary?
After I got into China, I’d lived here for two decades after all, I know how QR codes work. But…as soon as I entered the country, I lost my internet. The WiFi at the airport was practically useless. And although my e-sim promised it would continue providing data in China, it didn’t. Plus, I didn’t have a phone number yet, so I couldn’t get registered for a lot of things. I just about died of frustration at immigration.
After a long time, my e-sim card started working again. After I found data, I finally managed to get a hotel room.
I don’t have a phone number and can’t get a taxi, so I had to ride the subway. Because I don’t have a phone number, I couldn’t pay online for my subway tickets, so I had to find an employee in real life to buy it.
After I got into my hotel, I got stuck again…
I can’t get a room with my passport, and I didn’t have my national ID with me, because I was afraid of using it. Since nothing required a national ID once I was out of the country, I just left it at home. But I can’t get a hotel room with a Chinese passport. They only take national IDs, because their machine only scans national IDs.
It’s not like I’m a foreigner, though?
Perhaps it’s because I’m not a foreigner, and instead a Chinese person, that they didn’t kick me out right away. Instead, they started calling and coordinating for me.
First, I had to go to a police station to get an identity confirmation. Then, the police came with me to the hotel to take a photo of me holding my passport. If there had been a height bar next to me, I would think this was the process for sleeping at the jail that night.
Thankfully, after I got my room, there wasn’t any more difficulties. Until it was time for me to get a flight back to my hometown.
Once again, they couldn’t accept my passport.
I can use my Chinese passport to travel all over the EU, but I’m getting stuck inside China? The employee at the airport had to fuss all day for me to be able to get in.
I won’t talk about mobile payment platforms right now, just the passport problems are enough to exhaust me. And once again, I’m not using a foreign passport. This was a Chinese passport.
My first reaction upon flying home was to get myself a phone card and my national ID. Of course, I couldn’t get a phone number with my passport. They only take national IDs. So after a second lengthy round of questioning and swearing into a security camera, I finally got my phone card.
Oh, thank the lord!
I could feel a palpable sense of freedom!
I don’t have to keep getting doors shut in my face because i don’t have a phone number and only have a passport anymore!
This excitement lasted until an hour after I put in my new sim card.
After a mere hour, a phone call came through.
I was just curious who it was, and a familiar announcement started playing.
“Hello, Mister [so-and-so], enormous penthouses 35-160 square feet is selling hot in downtown, XX Lake luxurious apartment unit with beautiful views…”
Comments say, “What a ridiculous made up story.”
“Do you think Chinese people have never been out of the country? If you have all your documents and your visas are up to date, immigration officers don’t have time to even make chitchat with you. I ran all over the world for years for business, and it’s rare if the immigration officer bothers to speak more than three lines with me. The line I’ve heard the most often is “welcome home”.”
“You’re already in China, why are you using your passport? You’re just asking your trouble.”
A tiktok video of a man making an enormous egg…skin?
Comments say, “Sweat-flavoured egg skins [Doge]”
“This was my favourite activity in kindergarten, making super thin egg pancakes, with lots of sea weed and tiny shrimp. All kinds of egg pancakes~”
“How does he make it not stick to the wok? I’m asking sincerely.”
You've touched on LGBT issues a few times, I'd love to learn more about what those are like in China. What kind of stereotypes are there for gay men & women, and how are they viewed by mainstream society?
I don't understand what the luxury apartments thing is about. Is that a cliched telemarketer pitch in China or something?