09/28/25 - The way I manage my wealth is walking and starving myself.
“What trade can a girl learn that will last a lifetime?”
“Go be a nurse for seniors, learn high end skills, and go work at an expensive retirement home. High pay, low competition, and if you’re ambitious, you can seduce a rich old man.”
“Pet beautician. The bigger the city, the more popular you’ll be.”
“I suggest you learn accounting. My SIL is in her 70s and she’s still loving her job.”
“Become a Daoist priest. You can work until 88.”
“Organiser. I know an auntie who’s almost 60 and is great at her job. She made 30K last month and only did 12 jobs.”
“You can work in accounting your whole life.”
“Just take care of your health. So long as you can make it past 60, you can do whatever you want XD” [In reference to a new policy recently that mandates all businesses pay social security for all employees, whether they agree to waive it or not, causing a lot of businesses to hire retired people who don’t have to make social security payments as a cost-saving measure.]
“Pattern-cutter for clothing. You can do it your whole life no matter what your age.”
“This, but most people won’t teach you how. I know a girl who does this who only has a middle-school diploma but makes 10K+ a month.”
“Girl, consider becoming a yoga or pilates instructor. The more experience you have, the older you are, the more popular you’ll become. It’s a part of the health industry, and you can exercise for free and get prettier yourself.”
“Doctor. My MIL worked until she was 62, and my FIL got hired back on at 75.”
“Janitor. Month-sitting nurse.”
“Beauty, probably, and then you open your own SPA. The aunties around me who are doing this are in their 60s and they’re still young and making good money.”
“Gardening. You can do it until you’re 80.”
“Just have a son. Then you’ll have work to do so long as you’re alive.”
“I don’t know where this story came from, but supposedly, back in the Song Dynasty, there was a merchant named Li who was the wealthiest man around. But after the Jin invaded, the world was thrown into chaos, and Li’s goods kept getting robbed, causing him to take on heavy losses.
And just as roofs like to leak on rainy nights, his son was kidnapped by bandits who wanted a ransom of a hundred taels of silver or else they were going to dismember his son. He didn’t have that kind of liquid cash on hand, but he had to save his son, so what can he do?
So he came up with an idea. He went to the Magistrate and said that his son wanted to marry the Magistrate’s 16-year-old daughter.
Of course, the Magistrate thought Li was below him. So Li said, “The bandit boss has decided to take my son as his godson [but secular]. If you agree to marry your daughter to my son, then you’ll be family with the bandits.”
The Magistrate thought there might not be much use in the government collaborating with merchants, but collaborating with bandits is always useful, and he wouldn’t have to waste all that effort trying to clear out the bandits.
So the Magistrate agreed to the marriage.
Then, Li found the biggest cloth dealer locally and said he wanted the cloth dealer to give him 10% stock in the business. This way, he can offer the cloth dealer protection, because his son is the Magistrate’s future son-in-law, and he’s the godson of the bandit boss. He’s got friends on both sides of the law.
The cloth dealer asked the Magistrate and it seemed to be true, so he decisively handed over 10% stock.
Then, Li went to the bandits alone and met with their leader. He told the bandit boss that his son was the Magistrate’s son-in-law and a partner of the largest cloth dealer in Guanzhong who sells directly to the royal family. Although he didn’t bring gold this time, so long as the bandit boss was willing to adopt this young man as his godson, he’s going to have a bright future.
The Magistrate and the cloth dealer are both well known, and the bandit boss sent people to check and found everything Li said was true, so he really did recognise Li’s son as his godson.
And so, his son went from a hostage who might lose his life at any moment, to a money tree that works for all three sides.
Gao Qiqiang in Knock Out [TV show] used this scheme too. If you’re good enough at putting on a brave face, you can really turn a losing chess match around.”
Comments say, “I think the earliest version I’ve seen is that Kissinger was helping some young man get a job, so he went to a certain bank and told them he was the son-in-law of some big capitalist who wanted a high position. And then told the capitalist that he had a good match to introduce to his daughter, a young man who was upper management at this big bank.”
“If you want to eat hotpot, first, invite five people. Call the first person and tell him to pick up some veggies on his way over, the only thing you’re missing is veggies. Then tell the second one to buy some lamb on the way over, the only thing you’re missing is meat. Then tell the second one to buy some frozen tofu and meatballs on the way over, that’s the only thing you’re missing. Then tell the fourth that all you’re missing is some drinks. Then tell the fifth one that you don’t have enough soup base on hand. Then, boil a pot of water and wait.”
“Pity I don’t know how to do this and just got screwed over hard by others.”
“If you only make four figures a month, you don’t have to worry about gold or stocks or whatever. The best wealth management strategy for you is to stop eating late night snacks.”
Comments say, “Wow, that is a hard pill to swallow.”
“But I only have one mouth.”
“Sorry, I get paid five-figures per season.”
“Everyone needs a second job, even if it only pays enough for dinner. My second job is not eating dinner.”
“I need financial advice like this, please post more, thank you.”
“But it’s my scooter’s birthday today.”
“If you only make 2800 a month, don’t say four figures, or other people will think it’s 9999.”
“But it’s my phone’s first birthday today.”
“Stop rewarding yourself with dinner, stop rewarding yourself with boba, stop rewarding yourself with a late night snack, stop rewarding yourself with a cigarette, stop rewarding yourself with a trip. Basically, stop rewarding yourself.”
“Are you going to take away the last sliver of joy for work horses?”
“But all my other organs are side branch and only my mouth is main branch T_T” [Referring to Chinese period drama, where whether a child comes from a concubine (side branch) or the wife (main branch) causes a big difference in status.]
“Yeah, fried noodles for dinner is 10RMB. You need 400,000 in savings for the interest to be enough. If you add in some sausage, you’ll need 500,000.”
“Cut myself off from boba tea for a whole day and save 10RMB. Took a look at my index fund and I lost another 20RMB.”
“I’ve already so poor that I can’t afford late night snacks or soft drinks or takeout. The worst part is, the doctor says that if I keep living like this, I’m going to get healthier too.”
“But today is the day my crocs are retiring. I have to celebrate.”
“But really, it’s just 1800RMB a month.”
“I already don’t eat late night snacks. Should I stop eating lunch?”
“I didn’t eat barbecue last night and I’m still thinking about it now.”
“The way I manage my wealth is walking and starving myself.”
“If you have less than 1 million, don’t worry about managing your wealth and just focus on working.”
“Cutting out late night snacks doesn’t save much money in and of itself, but it will save you a lot of money going to the hospital later.”
“If you stop eating late night snacks, you can save 30-50RMB every night.”
“I’ve spent over 80K on gold over the last two years for a total of 157 grams. Sometimes, if my paycheck is low, I only buy 1-2g a month. But now it’s all worth 130K.”
“But isn’t the purpose of making money buying late night snacks?”
“Cool fact: wealth management is only one step away from scams.”
“What’s the point of living without late night snacks?”
“Wow, four figures! Sounds fancy! Is it 2800 or 3000?”
“Can’t do it. If I don’t eat enough, I’m going to get depressed and keep crying.”
“It’s not wrong. Saving money is easier than making money.”
“Just go on a diet. You can save 3000RMB a month.”
“I’m working as an assistant professor right now, and a French student texted me to ask if it’s normal to have class on Sunday. I tried explaining to her why and she was just shocked…Hahaha, guess she never thought she’d have to make up classes on the weekend.”
Comments say, “We’ve got a lot of international students in school, and I was buying lunch yesterday and ran into two Middle Easterners talking about, “Fuck Tiaoxiu.” [When you have to take on extra days of work or school on the weekends to make up for missing a day for an upcoming public holiday.]
“My previous company hired a Japanese person. One time, there was Tiaoxiu, and the whole company was messaging away in the group chat, and the Japanese guy was like, “Why are you all working on the weekend?” The group chat was quiet for the longest time before someone jumped out to explain China’s Tiaoxiu policy and told the Japanese guy to hurry over and clock in.”
“I missed two credit hours of classes because of a strike, and I asked if it was possible to make up for it at a different time, and the whole class looked at me shocked.”
“The first time I encountered a strike while studying overseas, the subway and buses all shut down, and the teacher told us we didn’t have to show up since there was no transport. I told the teacher I could still get there by taxi, and the teacher got confused and asked me why. And I was asking her when we’d make up this class.”