09/23/24 - Only when you’re Chinese can you dig stuff from your pockets and the police will actually believe you’re digging stuff out of your pockets.
A compilation of stereotypes westerners have about Chinese international students:
“Over here in the Netherlands, only Chinese people are allowed to party in the apartments, because all we’ll do is cook hotpot and make dumplings.”
“Went to Italy on vacation and we were waiting for the light to turn green so we could cross the road. A friendly Italian grandpa jaywalked halfway and turned back to tell us, “It’s okay to cross, you’ll be fine.””
“When I was in England, I warned the neighbours I’m going to have a party and it might be a bit loud, and all the white people laughed at me.”
“I’ve been graduated for 10 years now, and my landlady still regularly texts me about how much she misses when I used to live at her place while studying overseas. I’m allergic to gluten, so I cooked almost every day. It only took me three days to go from getting complaints filed against me to making all my neighbours hungry. I only paid rent for three months. For the next year or so, the landlady waived my rent if I left her dinner every day.”
“Forget it. When I went to America, a whole bunch of us were barbecuing in the backyard and we managed to draw the fire department. And they all sat down and ate with us, and were like, “As soon as we saw you, we knew we were gonna get something delicious today.””
“My friend heard gunshots in Russia and was calm as ever. He thought the next street over was setting off fireworks and wanted to go take a look and got stopped by police lo..”
“Reminded me of when my Russian coworker had to go on a business trip for three months and offered to let me stay at her place for free in exchange for taking care of her cat. I asked her why she didn’t ask our other coworkers or her other friends, and she said I was the best choice because I wasn’t going to call up a bunch of people to party at her place. At most, I’d just call up some best friends to share boba tea and takeout at home.”
“Last time at Flannels, the theft alarm went off in the lobby and the security guard held everyone and said nobody was allowed to leave. Then he asked the crowd who was Chinese and said we could leave and not get in the way of their work.”
[IP in Belarus] “It’s true. When I attend local events, the locals and some other international students would get searched up and down, but if they see you’re Chinese, they just kinda pat you around the shoulders and let you go. Wouldn’t even look at you twice.”
“Lol, when the theft alarm goes off, Chinese people getting let go without being searched is real. It’s happened in England a lot of times. As soon as the store employee sees that I’m Chinese, she just tells me to not panic and just leave.”
“”Show me your license.”
New international student: *Looks in handbag, and it’s not there. Looks in the glove compartment, looks in coat pockets, looks in car seat storage, looks in car door compartment, searches under seat, finally find it tucked in some corner.
Police: Waits patiently, checks ID, lets us go.
Old international student: “If you had been black, what you just did would’ve gotten two magazines emptied into us.””
“Only when you’re Chinese can you dig stuff from your pockets and the police will actually believe you’re digging stuff out of your pockets.”
“First day in England, couldn’t understand the pedestrian lights, and the grandpa on the other side yelled at me, “Look at me!” and he jaywalked across and was like, “Hahahaha, go!” at me. >: (“
“In Frankfurt, in a shopping street, the police were holding a whole crowd back as they checked people’s ID one by one. I walked up and showed my ID so they could take a look and let me hurry on, and they just waved their hand without even looking at me and told me to go on.”
“I was walking out of the supermarket with an Eastern European when the theft alarm went off, and I froze right where I was, and a store employee walked over and was like, “You can go.””
“Just came upon a male relationship blogger giving advice to his female audience, and it’s fucking scary.
The first lady was sleeping with a high official, and said that she wanted some money from this official, and if she can’t get it, then she wants to end this relationship.
And this relationship blogger told her, “You’re being retarded. You’re being way too short-sighted! Don’t anger powerful men easily, or you won’t even know how you died. You know what you should do if you’ve gotten in with a powerful man? Don’t ask for money. Use his resources and his platform to increase your own profits. If you just ask for money, he and all his friends are going to think you’re shallow and scary and will never work with you. But if you knew how to manage things, and turned yourself into a middle man for resources and information? You’ll never have to pay for anything again.”
The second lady had a crush on her boss, who’s divorced with a son that’s his ex-wife has custody of. But her boss was really good to his son. The boss says that the reason he got a divorce with his ex-wife is because she was asexual (this is just his side of the story), and the lady says that her boss is surrounded by lots of women and she wants to win.
And the advice this relationship blogger gave was for her to practice her skills in bed and try to have her boss’s baby ASAP. If one isn’t enough, then go for three. Once she has a kid, she can use “raising a child is expensive” as the excuse to get more money for herself. Once her kid is older, she can say her house isn’t big enough and ask her boss to get her a new house. Turn her boss’s premarital assets into marital assets.
As for how precisely she’s going to pull this off? Well, she’s gotta buy his lessons. 300 RMB, and he guarantees that your skillset and your money is going to go up, up, up…
All these advice just blew my mind.
On the one hand, I gotta say this blogger really was bright, to some extent. I say to some extent, because real life probably isn’t going to go according to his scripts. For example, the very reason that the powerful official was into the first lady might be precisely because she’s a bimbo. For example, the boss the second lady has a crush on might be well aware that he’s prey. Not everything’s going to go how he imagines.
On the other hand, I have to say, what kind of fucked up morals is he teaching? He’s adding another spoonful of ink to the unspoken rules flowing beneath the swamp. Is it okay to use babies just as a tool to solidify your own profits? Somethings aren’t illegal, and you can do them if you have no morals, but isn’t it a bit too much to come out here and promote that other people should do this too?
Now that the economy is in decline, it’s harder for everyone to make money. But is it necessary to scheme so far for a couple of pennies? What I’m worried about is the people who bought the lessons, listened to the advice, tried to implement it in real life, and nothing ever worked out how they hope, and they might’ve even been hoisted by their own petard. Study hard if you’re in school. Work hard if you’re at work. Buy pants exactly big enough to hold your butt. Stop trying to take short cuts. You really think short cuts are this easy to find?”
Comments say, “Why do people still have the delusion that you can take rich people hostage with a baby?”
“It’s not nearly so simple in the first case, and it’s a lot more dangerous to walk that road than just asking for some money. She might end up too far in in the end.”
“I had a coworker before who said she had a friend who was really good at getting money out of men. She married three men, had three kids, and with every divorce, she got a house. Now she has three houses, three kids, and is divorced. But I’ve never been into that lifestyle, because it’s too hard. Having three kids is too hard on your body. Having three divorces is too hard on your heart. And although you have three houses, you’ll still never have a day of peace with three kids.”
A compilation of pink tax:
“Menstrual pads for men. So they do know how to make them wider in the butt so they don’t leak. >: (“
[It’s meant to soak up sweat and incontinence.]
“Our teacher taught in marketing class that the beauty standard that women have to have no hair was because men can use a set of razors forever, and they couldn’t sell anymore. So they started promoting that women are only beautiful if they have no hair, and their sales doubled. And now they’ve got a whole industry like waxing, hair removal cream, and even hair removal lasers for thousands of RMB, and even plastic surgery. It’s one of the most successful cases of advertising.”
“My dad’s facial cream is the best fucking facial cream I have ever used. I have such greasy skin, and it completely balanced me out and got rid of all my acne >: (“
“L’Oreal’s Pro-Xylane cream for men is more concentrated than women’s, and it’s cheaper too. I never dared to tell anyone about this, in case they raised the prices.”
“The reason women’s clothing have tiny pockets is because capitalists want to sell handbags.”
“L’Oreal’s men’s sunscreen is only 80 RMB for 80ml. Is this real L’Oreal prices?”
“L’Oreal has a huge men’s product line, face masks, shampoo, cleanser, moisturise. All of these are available for men and they’re so much cheaper and their ingredient list isn’t any different from the women’s.”
“Me! Me! Me! I can speak on this! One year, my husband’s down jacket was getting a bit worn and he figured he’d toss it out and buy a new one. I said that I’ll wear it instead. I need something cheap to wear when picking my kid up in my scooter. And motherfucker, that was the first time I’ve worn a down jacket that light and that warm. It’s like I had grown feathers myself!”
“It’s true. I’m a female cop, and the pants on my uniform are incredibly straight and makes my legs look super thin, and it’s way better than any of the pants I’ve bought at women’s fashion brands. And the pockets are huge and hardly visible. I can put a phone, a police baton, and two handcuffs in my pockets. So pants can totally be both fashionable and practical.”
“I’m wearing men’s shorts right now. They’re so fucking comfy!! Seriously! I bought two for just 20 RMB!! And they’re better than anything I’ve bought before! The pockets are huge too, and they have a zipper! And there’s no weird crease in the front! When I tried on these men’s shorts, I just wanted to cuss out all the female fashion brands out there.”
“My brother bought some 50 RMB men’s foundation, and it works better than my 600+ RMB foundation.”
“Have you guys ever worn men’s underwear? I’ve worn all kinds of underwear from lace to silk, from 20-30 RMB to hundreds of RMB, and none of them compare to the three underwear for 80 RMB that my husband got in the wrong size for him to wear. At first, I only wore them at home. Later on, I started wearing them out since no one would know anyways. They’re so comfy that most of the time, I don’t even realise I’m wearing underwear.”
“I’ve always wondered, aren’t men’s faces and hair basically the same? It’s all human cells. Why do we need two different product lines?”
“I can really speak on this, because I’m fat, so I’ve been wearing men’s clothing since forever ago. My friends have watched me effortlessly pull a portable charger, charging cords, a phone, keys, and a wallet out of my trench coat, and then pull an umbrella out of my shorts for her, and she couldn’t deal with it. And even worse, I pulled two oranges from the hood of my trench coat, and pulled a book out of my sleeve.”
“Do you guys not feel like some Nike or Adidas men’s shoes look way better than women’s?”
“Gotta say, I bought a men’s down jacket, and I can stuff an entire thermos into the pocket and still have room.”
“Once, by chance, I used my dad’s Clear men’s shampoo, and I could feel every single follicle on my head breathe after a wash. I could go 4-5 days without washing my hair after that without it getting greasy.”