09/19/24 - Embarrassing Stories Edition
A compilation of just how tolerant the world can be:
“That’s nothing! I’ve got something even more explosive. For our company bonding exercise, we went on a river ride. A female coworker thought she had a great figure so she wore a bikini, the kind you tie behind your back. We had 4 men and 1 woman on the boat and got hit by a big wave half way through, and it ripped her bra right off of her. This happened over a decade ago, so there were no life vests or anything, and all four guys were only wearing shorts too, and we we weren’t allowed to get off half way, so she just had to get through the rest of the ride like that. And there were hundred of people on shore waiting in line for their ride, all gawking at her. One male coworker couldn’t stand it anymore and ripped off a banana leaf to cover her up, so she could get through the crowd and leave. I can laugh about this for the rest of my life XD”
“Evening time, my takeout delivery had arrived. I told my husband to go pick it up, and he went outside and didn’t even shut the door. While waiting at home, I went to the bathroom and discovered my period had come. I was worried about making my pants dirty, so I didn’t put my pants back on when I went into the bedroom to find my pads. They weren’t in my cabinet, so I was kneeling by the side of the bed, my ass in the air, looking for them, when my husband’s cousin happened to walk in. I heard the footsteps, but I thought it was my husband coming back with the takeout, so I didn’t care and kept digging through stuff, until I turned around and met his eyes. I just about went crazy.”
“I bought two shirts at zara, different colours, and put on the ginger yellow one and went out to eat with a friend. My friend got a bit drunk and wouldn’t let me leave and pulled on my shirt, and it ripped from my armpit to my wait. I had to call my husband to have him emergency deliver the blue one hanging on my balcony so I could get changed. We rode the subway home and the blue one also…”
“Forgot to pull up my zipper while playing piano.”
“I was at the last bus stop and couldn’t find where I’m supposed to wait for the bus. I saw an uncle leaning on a charging pole so I went over to ask for directions. I repeated, “Hey, uncle,” forever and he just kept his eyes closed and wouldn’t respond to me. I was all like, “what the hell is this guy doing?” when I noticed he was peeing over there.”
“In wintertime, I like to wear my bra outside of my thermal underwear, and then put on a jacket over the top. Went out for hotpot with my whole family and I ate so much that I started getting hot, so I took off my jacket and kept going. After a few rounds, a waitress finally talked to me, like, “That’s a pretty creative way to dress up. Although you’re not showing anything, is’t it still a bit inappropriate?” I looked down and holy shit. Why did no one tell me!? Everyone laughed.”
“I got my period for the first time in middle school, and I had no idea what it was. It was in the middle of an exam, and I was sitting next to a boy too. As soon as the exam was done, I rushed back to my dorm to change pants and couldn’t find the underwear I’d taken off no matter where I looked. Since we were gathering in the field soon, I hurried down, and as soon as I got in formation, my underwear fell from my pants to about my ankles and I had no idea. It took a boy behind me telling me. My life was over. He was my crush too T_T”
“Wore my nude stockings inside out in winter, and had the fleeced side out. It took until the afternoon for a coworker to ask me, “Are these stocking a new design?” She said she wanted to ask in the morning but got too busy and forgot XD”
“I was wearing a pleated skirt and ate to much food in the car and it was pinching my stomach, so I loosened the zipper. Then we got to the service area and I forgot all about it getting out of the car, so I just pulled open the car door and stepped out, and the entire skirt fell to my ankles. It was during the holidays so there was a ton of people and my life was basically over. I just had to pretend like nothing was wrong, pull up my skirt, and walk away.”
“Before, I was getting out of school when I saw an uncle standing by the side of the road with his hand on his lower stomach. And I remember thinking that poor uncle, why is his finger so swollen? I kept staring at him as I walked past, even turning back to stare at him, and he kept pulling it out and putting it back in until suddenly, water came out in front of him and I finally realised he was standing there to pee.”
“I’m content. At least it left me a couple threads of dignity.”
“I like to be shirtless when I’m at home, and I’m short-sighted too. One day, I have no idea why, but my husband’s dad suddenly came out and I had no idea. Didn’t put on my classes, went out shirtless thinking it was my husband, and even walked right up to my FIL. He took one look at me and hurriedly turned around and then said something. I only realised something was wrong when I noticed his voice was different and ran back to my room T_T”
“I had a C-section with my second baby, and my husband took off my pants in front of his whole family so he could open me up and clean me under there. His grandpa, my FIL, his two uncles, two aunts, his cousin…I wanted to die. I’d gotten shaved clean down there too for the C-section.”
“2 months after labour, having a face-to-face chat with my business partner and he had his head down the entire time. I was super confused, since whatever I said, he basically immediately agreed to. It wasn’t until I leaned back and my clothes clung to me all wet that I looked, and saw beads of milk coming out. And I’d worn a black dress to try to look thinner too.”
“The last time I went to pick up my delivery package, my period came. I figured I can use some toilet paper as a pad for now and went out in shorts on my bicycle. Once I had picked up my package and was getting back on my bike, the bloody tissues fell out of my pants and a whole bunch of people were staring at me T_T”
“One time, while visiting a relative, I put on a leather jacket I hadn’t worn in years. It was fine when I first put it on, but as soon as I got to my relative’s house, it started flaking apart, like oh my god. My mom ended up giving me some money and telling me to shop for more clothes XD”
“When I was giving birth, I really needed to poop, and the doctor told me to do it on the delivery table, and I ended up really doing it. He packed it up and handed it to a nurse, and the nurse went outside and handed it to my mom, and my mom handed it to my husband and told him to throw it away. My husband took two steps and saw his mom heading over, so he gave it to his mom. And his mom ended up throwing it in the trash. What’s more horrifying is that with every exchange, they had to explain what had happened. My sister told me, and I flipped the fuck out.”
“Went to the hospital with haemorrhoids, and a male doctor told me to hold my ass up. The worst part is, the pair of socks I wore had both heels worn away. He had me take off my shoes, lay on the bed on my stomach, with my ass up in the air. And I can still visualise that doctor looking at a pair of heel-less socks and a naked butt T_T”
“When my husband went to park his truck, he went to the bathroom to take a dump. After he was done wiping his butt and was pulling up his pants, a strong wind went through and picked up the paper he’d wiped his butt with, and sent it right onto the face of the guy at the next squatter over. My husband froze. The guy was furious but couldn’t do anything about it, since it was all the wind. My husband said he desperately wanted to laugh but didn’t dare to.”
“Who’s been more embarrassed than me? After vaginally delivering my baby, a nurse was disinfecting me down there, with my legs up in the air, when my husband, his dad, and his brother walked in.”
“Alone at home in summer, stripped naked so I can go shower, and suddenly remembered there was some trash in the kitchen I had to throw away. I had no idea what the fuck I was thinking, but I just opened the door intending to put the trash bags outside. And as soon as I opened the door, I discovered that my 100kg neighbour was, for some reason, sitting in the corridor shirtless. Our eyes met and the air instantly froze. My brain went blank. My hands kept moving, and I just leaned out and put the trash outside. I only realised what had happened once I closed the door, and I dodged that neighbour for the longest time.”
“When I was 15-16, I was hanging out with a dozen of my friend at the gate of our middle school. I was wearing jeans that day. All my underwear were in the laundry, so I was going commando. Along the way, I got called a perv by a lot of students, and I was wondering to myself what was going on. All my friends knew and nobody told me. It took a friend from school to come out and say to me, “Wow, what a sophisticated person, you know you have to air it out sometimes, huh?” And I was like, “What’s wrong with you? Speak Chinese.” And he was like, “Your zipper is down.” I hurried to pull up my zipper and it caught on my skin and hair. I didn’t dare to pull it up or pull it down. And at that moment, my best friend went, “I’ll help you!!” And before I could realise, he’d pulled it all the way up to the top. When I got home and looked, I was bleeding and missing a chunk of my hair.”
“I’ve got a story. Back in 2014, I had the stupid fucking thought that I was too fat, so I bought a box of Bi Sheng Yuan diet tea. Holy shit. Watery poop 5 times an hour. I went to the night market and as I was looking around, I could feel another bout coming on. It was super painful and there was no way I could hold it in, so I had to find a relatively abandoned alley and do it there. There were people walking past me and everything. At least I hid my face. It’s been ten years now and I’ve never went back to that road. I was pooping pure water. The second day, I tossed all the rest.”
“Me, my husband and my best friend and her boyfriend were eating out when he had some stomach troubles and had to look for a bathroom. In the end, we ended up dropping in to a McDonald’s bathroom and he went in by himself. In a bit, he called me and told me to go home and get him a new pair of pants since he’d accidentally pooped himself. I went in to give him his pants and holy shit. The entire McDonald’s corridor was covered in his poop. I called for him and he came out of an Out of Order bathroom. I asked him what happened and he said the toilet wasn’t working and the door wouldn’t open and he couldn’t hold it in and it just all came out of his pants. The waiter saw and opened up the broken bathroom so he could go inside. Once he got changed, he came out barefoot because his shoes were covered in shit too. Once he came out, he said he’d help clean up and the waiter said it was okay, so we just fled in a panic.”
“My friend went swimming. He was a guy and he was just wearing underwear, and they got washed away by the water. Just as he was going to get on shore to put on clothes, a whole bunch of people came, so he had to keep swimming for over an hour XD”