08/08/23 - If my brother had been a little sister instead, I probably wouldn’t even bother getting a girlfriend.
A clip of a livestream where people consult a lawyer for legal advice, where a man asks, “My problem is a little…hard to talk about. I got diagnosed at the Chaoyang Women and Children’s hospital this year that I have varicocele—level 2 varicocele.”
Lawyer: “So it affects your ability to have sex, right?”
Guy: “Yeah, so you know the condition. It’s had a big impact on my marriage and my personal life. I just want to ask—I’ve done a lot of research. I’ve read marital laws. I just want to ask, can I use this condition as grounds to annul my marriage?”
Lawyer: “Did you get this condition before or after your marriage?”
Guy: “Oh, I’ve always had this condition. But I only got diagnosed at the start of this year.”
Lawyer: “It doesn’t matter when you got diagnosed. When did you know you have this condition?”
Guy: “Well, it got diagnosed after I got married.”
Lawyer: “Did your wife know you have this condition before she married you?”
Guy: “She didn’t know.”
Lawyer: “She didn’t know you had this condition before marrying you, but you’ve always known you had this condition? So she only found out after you went and got diagnosed at a hospital? So basically, you’ve always had it and hid it from her? This sort of varicose veins that has a debilitating affect on your sex life doesn’t necessarily fall under the category of “severe illness” that’s covered by marital laws. But because it’s something that definitely has a large impact on whether or not someone would be willing to marry you, if you hide it from your fiancee before marriage and she married you without knowing, then she has a pretty good chance of getting an annulment on these grounds.”
Guy: “Oh good, so we can get an annulment. So what kind of paperwork do I need to prepare? All I have right now is a diagnosis from the hospital. And I signed a divorce agreement at the time, which also mentioned this.”
Lawyer: “What do you mean, divorce agreement? You’ve already gotten divorced?”
Guy: “Yeah, she felt like she couldn’t live with my condition. We only got divorced a short time ago. It was a mutually agreed divorce.”
Lawyer: “So you’re already divorced? But you want to annul the marriage?”
Guy: “Yeah. I want to annul the marriage because I—“
Lawyer: “Hold on. I just have one question. If you successfully annul this marriage, are you gonna date again? Before you marry again next time, are you going to tell her honestly about your condition?”
Guy: “[Hangs up]”
Lawyer: “People need to stop treating lawyers like idiots. There are some questions I probably shouldn’t be asking, but Jesus Christ, this guy. He’s already gotten divorced because he hid a history of illness from his wife, and now he wants to annul the marriage on his own? Do you think I don’t know what you’re trying to do? People can’t be too much of a bastard.”
Comments say, “What a cunning cripple.”
“What does he want to do? Scam his way into another marriage by pretending like he hadn’t been married before?”
“I’ll explain it again: once you’re divorced, you’re a divorcee. But if you annul the marriage, then you’re “unmarried”.”
“So he wants to annul it so he can pretend like he’s still on his first marriage, and keep hiding it?”
“Man, he’s disabled from every angle—his body is shit, and his morals are shit.”
“His wife is the one who should be annulling the marriage and seeking emotional damages! What an awful, vicious man. Ptui!”
“My month-sitting nurse is the best in her whole agency (the top-rated on review apps), never has a break 365 days of the year. If her next customer has a late delivery, she’ll just stay with her previous customer until she’s needed. She always takes the few pieces of luggage she has with her from one customer to the next.
I summarised the reason she can win people’s trust:
She plans everything out. She’ll plan out the next day’s menu and schedule the day before, and everything’s calculated down to the minute. There’s no needless plans or time. Her client feels like her brain is working at max capacity every minute of every day. She’s always busy. She only rests when she’s sleeping with the baby. She never passes the time on her phone. Her clients really feel like their money is well-spent.
Helps her client save money everywhere. She’ll cut disposable changing pads into three or four smaller pieces. She’ll lay down an intact disposable changing pad, and then put a smaller changing pad on top of it. That way, most of the time, you just have to throw away the small pad on top. She has a hand-sewn belt for keeping the baby still during sleep, or holding the blanket down on them. She’ll turn empty milk cartons into all kinds of storage boxes for organising things. She carries a little food scale with her, and observes her client’s appetite to adjust how much food she makes. Every meal, she makes just enough food to feed everyone without any leftovers. And she makes every meal hot and fresh.
She truly loves the baby from the bottom of her heart. I sleep in the guest bedroom at night, and when I wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes I’ll sneak into the Master Bedroom to look at the baby. I can always see the month-sitting nurse sleeping with the baby in her arms, whether laying down or sitting up. She made a little holster for herself that she can put on her hand to make sure that she keeps hold of the baby even when she falls asleep. When I go out and come back home again, I can always see her playing with the baby, talking with her, doing all kinds of brain teaser games with her. When she sees the baby smile or act cute, she’ll grab photos even faster than we can. Sometimes, I can even see her talking with past clients about what to do with their babies. She does great aftercare, and often sincerely shows nostalgia for past babies she’s taken.
When there’s a conflict with older people about how to raise babies, she knows how to carefully avoid conflict, find scientific evidence, and show it to the mother, and let her make the decision. Then she’ll execute it and when the old people object, she’ll play great support and enable communication. She can really help new mothers maintain family relations, and remind her of how to go about building connections. When the mommy and daddy want to be on their own with the baby, she’s very quick about disappearing. She’s got great EQ, very observant, keeps everyone happy.
She’s got great morals. She refuses all red pockets and expensive fruits. She waits for the whole family to eat first and then eats the leftovers. She’ll eat the apple peels that she peeled off. She’s not a picky eater. She’s not spoiled. She’ll accept any kind of food and living conditions. She doesn’t treat rich people preferentially. She never describes wealthier families she’d been with and compare you to them. She never airs her opinions or tries to ask about your private info.
She’s a fantastic cook! I’m not a sheltered person. But since I’ve gotten this month-sitting nurse, I have lost all interest in restaurants or take out. Honestly. I’ve finally became the person my parents want me to be in steadfastly refusing unhealthy food. Her homemade pumpkin cakes, red sugar balls, Maocai, pig feet stew, blanched lamb, braised femur bone, rice noodle steamed with ribs, fish boiled in water, black-eyed peas braised raise…how can I describe it…it blow all the restaurants out there out of the water. I asked and found out that her family really does own a restaurant.
If only I was richer. I want to hire her on for three years straight. No matter how bad the economy is doing and how low the birth rate is, her type of maid is still highly sought after by the market. If you make it to the top of the industry, no matter what industry it is, you’ll never have to worry about where your next pay check is coming from.”
In the comments, the top one is by OP, saying, “Too many people are asking, so I’m replying to you all here. My nurse spends most of her time working. She can’t read this many messages, and she’d just get scared. If you’re in Shanghai and you’re already expecting, you can tell me your due date, and I’ll see if I can put you in touch with her.”
“How much per month?” OP replies to this question with, “15800 RMB for 26 days. Three times normal salary if it’s a public holiday.”
“I’m so envious! That’s not expensive at all! My month-sitting nurse was 18800 RMB for 26 days. She made great food too, but she’ll leave to go help other people clear blocked ducts. She also took a few days off. Theoretically, she’s supposed to extend her stay by that many days too, but she just kind of assumed that that’s unnecessary. She said that most mothers just let it go because they see how hard she works.”
“I’m moving with my family to America. I’ve got a house at Tomson Riviera house and Tangong house. If you can afford it, you’re welcome to come tour. I’ll accept people who might need a long time to pay. I accept both USD and RMB.”
In the comments to this post, someone asks, “I just care how much the real estate agent fees are.”
And OP replies, “100 million.”
And people ask, “??? Excuse me?? How much???”
Comments say, “For an independent manor like that, real estate agent fees are usually 2%. Even if it’s higher because he’s trying to sell in a hurry, how could just real estate agent fees by 100 million? What’s the house actually worth? This is so fake.”
“Once the real estate agent closes this deal, they’re gonna go to America too XD XD”
“He’s already fleeing to America. Who would buy his house? What if the police take it as evidence later?”
On a pig farm in Harbin, 5000 pigs and 10 workers have been trapped in 80cm deep flood water. The farm owner is asking for urgent help, but rescue boats can’t get into the pig pen. The pig farm has found a farm vehicle to help with transport, but they can only get 20 pigs out at a time, which is far from solving the problem. The pig farmer is begging for any kind of help he can get.
Comments say, “Donate all the pigs. Help might come faster that way.”
A compilation of the most hurtful things people’s husbands have said to them:
“I was eating out at a restaurant while pregnant, and had a bout of morning sickness. And he said, “If you’re gonna throw up, go outside and do it. Don’t gross people out in here.”
“My husband cheated on me and demanded a divorce. It was super sudden. I couldn’t understand and couldn’t accept it. I kept asking him why he wanted a divorce, begging him to think of his son. I even said I was willing to forgive anything in the past, if only he could calm down and be rational about this. But he coldly and heartlessly told me, “Accept it while we’re still friends. We’re both going to have new families in the future. Let’s stop wasting each other’s time.” That sentence really hurt me a lot. I never thought I would end up divorced with him. He was everything to me! I’ll remember that line forever.”
“I was 8 months along, and left my ultrasound pictures laying on the table. He told me to put it away, that I need to clean up my trash.”
“I would type him long texts, and he would reply with “K.” Or I’d type out a bunch of stuff, just to get a “……” from him.”
“We were toasting the guests at our wedding. One of his friend’s well-wishes was that he would quickly find a little number three soon [colloquial name for a mistress], and offered to toast him three cups. He was talking to another person at the time and didn’t hear it. I brought it up two years into our marriage, and he was like, “Oh, really? I didn’t even know.” Then three years into our marriage, when we were fighting once, he brought up that I’d brought this up before and said that I hold onto grudges for years over a simple joke.”
“I take care of the baby all on my own and was exhausted and complained a little. He called me a whining bitch.”
“I was chatting with my boyfriend, and I told him, “I don’t understand why some MILs are jealous of their DILs and feel like their DILs are stealing their sons away from them, and actually target them and bully them out of jealousy. The wife is totally innocent! Why does she have to suffer for this? If you know you can’t take your son being intimate with his wife, then just don’t let him get married to begin with. Why ruin another girl’s life?” And my boyfriend was like, “It’s pretty understandable to me. After all, her son used to belong completely to her. A DIL suddenly appeared and is demanding to share her son.””
“My ex-boyfriend said, “Let’s have a daughter together. I want a little girl so badly. If my brother had been a little sister instead, I probably wouldn’t even bother getting a girlfriend.”
“My sixth year being a full-time mom, he asked me how I was spending 2K a month. Why I needed that much money a month. And then he started only giving me 800 RMB a month, and I had to pay anything extra out of my own pocket…the very next year, I dumped the kid with him and found a job myself. Now I make more money than him, and he’s staying home with the kid now. He doesn’t even dare to fart in front of me now.”
“Currently nothing. He knows exactly what to say and what not to say. You feel like he hasn’t done anything wrong, but actually, he hasn’t done anything at all. You know what I mean?”
“As a single person, I just want to ask, are men really that different before and after marriage? I hadn’t wanted to get married before, and I’m even more scared to get married now.”
“My boyfriend said that he’s slept with prostitutes before and whether I would mind that.”
“You’re not the only one who can have kids.”
“I don’t have any responsibility to do that for you.”
“My boyfriend said that he needed a son to continue his lineage, and that we can test the gender of the baby in Hong Kong.”
“Third trimester pregnancy, I said I had a headache. He said I’ll feel better if I ram my head against the wall a couple of times.”
“My husband isn’t at home, and it’s easy to get frustrated when you’re taking care of a baby on your own. I told him about it, looking for some comfort, and he told me that only retards can’t control their emotions. Now every time I get mad, I remember what he said that time, and hold it in.”
“Why does my mom have to take care of our baby or give us money? This has nothing to do with her.”
“When I was giving birth, I was in pain for two days and two nights and not progressing. I hadn’t eaten a bite of food or got a wink of sleep. Normally, I would be passed out by now, but the pain was keeping me awake. My cervix had swollen. It wasn’t expanding. My water had broken. I was burning up with a fever. The baby’s heart rate is going through the roof. And when the baby was born, he wouldn’t cry, and had to be taken to NICU. When I got out of the delivery room, the first thing the bastard told me was, “Man, looking at you like this, I don’t even want sex anymore.” Super gross right? How can a human being say shit like that. We’ve slept apart for eight years now. I want to throw up every time his finger touches me.”
“He knows that I’ve got PTSD about my dad beating my mom. Once, when we were fighting, he pointed at me and swore that, “I’m gonna deal with you like your dad would!” The people closest to you know exactly where you’re weakest.”
“He screamed in my ear, “Leave! Why don’t you leave! Why haven’t you left yet!? So what if my whole family bullied you!? If you don’t like it, why don’t you leave!? Fucking leave already! I’m telling you to leave! Why don’t you leave!? If it was me, I would leave! Why don’t you leave!?”
“Me while I was pregnant: “He’s kicking me again, over here.” Him: “Stop projecting negative energy at me all day.””
“I had broken bones and was resting at home. I asked him to get a package for me at night. He said, “I’m not going. Why didn’t you tell me earlier? You spent 4 hours today napping.” This was my second day of resting at home. I’ve told all the girls around me to never get married. If they have to, they need to keep their eyes wide open, or else both they and their children will suffer.”
Just curious. In that "little sister" statement, can you tell from context if the husband d'awws over little girls? Or is he being creepy with pedophilic undertones?
I sorta get why someone might d'aww over little girls without being creepy. My grandma did.