07/28/23 - Every child who studies overseas is forced to become a New East Academy graduate.
Under the hashtag #Typhoon Doksuri’s Latest Position and #These places need to be wary of downpours today, the Chinese Meteorology Department writes, “Today, at 7am, Typhoon Doksuri (tropical storm level) is inside Jiujiang City in Jiangxi Province. Bware that Doksuri is moving northwestwards at 30km per hour, and will enter the southern areas of Anhui as it continues to weaken. Importantly, the southern areas of Hebei, north Henan, and Southeast Shanxi will need to be wary against torrential rain (up to 250-260mm). Stay safe, everyone!”
Comments say, “I’m in Xiamen—it hasn’t been that bad this time. There were hardly any floods in the city when I went to work this morning. There weren’t any broken tree branches near my place or my work. Looks like we dodged the worst of it, thankfully. I hope everyone in Quanzhou and Fuzhou is okay.”
“It’s been raining in Fuzhou from yesterday afternoon to now, and it keeps thundering T_T”
“Based on Hainan’s years of experience, you’re supposed to trim tree branches before this kind of strong wind hits.”
A blogger reposts someone else’s post, which says, “A woman who’s sitting the month in Hunan, Yongzhou, ate 13 chickens in 14 days. There are 40 more chickens prepared for her in the pen. She begs her mother-in-law to let her eat something else. But she never guess what her MIL said in reply—something that makes her both shy and touched.”
The blogger also shows a compilation of the comments under this post, where people are saying, “I ate 40 chickens while sitting the month too. Every one was full of love from my mother and MIL.”
“What a lucky DIL. This kind of love is so much better than any words.”
“When I sat the month, my MIL only bought me one chicken.”
“My favourite thing while sitting the month was chicken meat. I ate several dozen chickens while sitting the month too. Sometimes, I’d eat three chickens a day. Anything else makes me feel like I’m not quite full.”
“It’s so lucky to find a DIL like this who knows to be grateful.”
The blogger asks, “Does your appetite really get this big while sitting the month? One chicken a day!”
Their comment section replies, “Maybe they’re little chickens, the kind that’s only one or two pounds each.”
“I can’t do it. Third trimester pregnant, I have a huge appetite, but it went back to normal as soon as I had a kid. Couldn’t really eat much.”
“As we all know, there’s nothing wrong with fish or shrimp or pigeons or geese or ducks or pork or beef or lamb or rabbits. Who wouldn’t get sick of something if they had to eat it everyday?”
“A is a man who’s 38 years old, with two children, and both house payments and car payments to make. He used to work in IT and had a high income. His wife didn’t need to work and full-time takes care of the kids. A’s income alone is enough to take care of all four parents and his little family, and ensure they live a very comfortable lifestyle.
But just a few months after he bought his car, he was fired from his work. He didn’t even know if he was lucky or not that he’d bought this car. He’s unlucky in that he still has to make car payments every month. But he’s lucky in that with a car, he can drive for Uber.
But there’s a lot of Uber drivers these days. It’s not an easy job. He can only grab eight rides a day, for 30 RMB each. The platform takes 200 RMB a day in fees. Rides at night pay a little more, so he exclusively drives at night. As a middle-aged man, he’d never stayed up late before (even if he worked overtime, he’s never had to pull an all-nighter), but he needed to drive through the night every day. It’s super damaging to his body.
Thankfully, the old people in his family have a pension and has medical insurance. They feel bad for their child too, and don’t tell him if they’re not feeling well. They just get their hands on some medicine themselves and bear with it. It was only until they got so sick that they had to be hospitalised that A even found out their health had deteriorated to this point.
Not counting necessary bills and all kinds of loan payments, just his kid’s tutoring costs 3000 per subject, 9000 for three subjects. His younger kid is about to start primary school too. Soon, he’ll have to pay another 9000.
Even if he didn’t eat or drink every month, this much money has to be spent. A mostly lived off of his savings from before. Driving for Uber only slows down the rate at which his savings evaporates.
After half a year, he’s covered in white hair now. No matter how hard work was before, he still looked like a young man, at most in his early thirties. Now, he resembles an uncle in his fifties.
Before A was laid off, he thought that 40s and 50s was the peak of making money in life. Now he knew, his peak had already past. If he can so much as get through every month and hold on until the kids are graduated from uni, that’s an ideal life for him.
His wife wants to find a job and help with the family too, but she can’t get away from two kids. The old people can barely take care of themselves, much less help with babysitting. And imagine if something went wrong with both the old people and the kids. She’s very torn.
Oh, this is what a mid-life crisis is.
Everybody who has a job, don’t quit your jobs on a whim. Be thankful every day that your boss yells at you. Mostly, remember to be thankful that you still have a boss.”
Comments say, “What if you don’t even make a high salary? I’m at the end of my ropes.”
“My companies works on construction. We haven’t gotten paid for our project, so our boss hasn’t payed wages in half a year. Should I quit or stick with it?”
“Reality will make you bend your knee. This is the burden of responsibility on the shoulders of middle-aged men.”
A tiktok video of a female tourist in No Man’s Land (a well known very isolated area in western China) found a food stall and went up to ask the prices, and got the answer that instant noodles are 230 RMB each, bread is 90 RMB each. The female tourist replied, “This is robbery!” Does everyone else think it’s expensive considering where this is?
Comments say, “Dude, this is No Man’s Land. If you don’t like it, don’t buy it.”
“A bottle of water, a piece of bread, a package of noodles—this is all stuff that can save your life. If you lose your money, you can make it back. If you lose your life, you’ve got nothing. If you think it’s expensive, bring more supplies with you next time, be more frugal with your food and drinks!”
“Some people would give their lives for this, much less 230 RMB.”
A lawyer writes, “I’ve seen people discover in the course of a civil suit that the national ID number behind the weibo account they’re suing belongs to a civil servant. And they go to that person’s workplace to report them for posting on weibo during work hours or something.
If they openly use the identity of being a civil servant in this or that government department in the internet to violate your rights, then sure, their workplace has the responsibility to keep them in check. But if they haven’t, then you shouldn’t do this. It could bring a lot of risk to your lawsuit. I’ve discovered in the course of my lawsuits many times that the person who actually uses the account is different from the person who registered the account. If they violated your rights, you need to pursue the actual user of the account. But you can’t prove that every single message was sent by the actual user of the account. They can easily say that a friend posted this, or a family member posted this.
I’ve just seen one of my commenters get sued because of this.”
Comments say, “If you lend your phone number to someone else and they do crimes with it, you don’t have to take any responsibility?”
“What legal responsibility do I have to bear for reporting someone for posting on social media during work hours, even if it turns out to be untrue? How can they sue me? What can they sue me for?”
“My dad had a mental breakdown because of white people food in Britain. This is still a family joke to this day, five years later.
I graduated at the end of 2017 in Scotland. My dad, a man who had never been out of China before, excitedly took a 10 day vacation, put on a tweed suit, and brought my 200-pound uncle with him to my graduation ceremony.
Before he came, I gravely warned him on the phone that Britain has terrible food. He needs to prepare himself. My dad scoffed, “I’ve been through a famine when I was young. What haven’t I eaten?” Men are always paying for their words.
They touched down in London. I took them to a famous coconut chicken place in Chinatown. This was widely agreed upon to be one of the best restaurants among international students. After we were done, they said it was okay. Back in China, they’d never come to this restaurant again.
Then, we went to Oxford, and shopped at a famous local Outlet store. I bought them a Pret wrap, and went to the bathroom. When I came out of the bathroom five minutes later, they were standing by a trash can with a look of pain on their faces. They said it was too awful. They threw it away after a single bite.
Then, we went to Sheffield, where I took my dad to Sansbury’s, where he excitedly bought all kinds of canned fish to use as a beer snack at the party that night. The party rolls around, we open the cans.
Me: “Not bad.”
My friend: “Yeah, not bad.”
My dad: “You eat this every day!?”
My friend: “Well, we usually have some bread along with it too.”
My dad: “…”
My uncle was only doing worse than my dad. His 200-pounds of weight were carefully cultivated by the best of chefs in China. He couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep. He wasn’t allowed to smoke inside our Air BnB. And he was tasked with cooking for all of us. This iron-willed man eventually became so depressed that he would go to bed by 9pm every night.
They suddenly began to feel that that coconut chicken in Chinatown was so goddamn delicious.
Finally, I sent them back to China from London, and took a flight myself to Italy. When I waved them off, I cried. My dad had tears in his eyes too. “I never thought you were living in such a hell.” And then, he flew back to Shanghai, went straight to Chengdu, and ate hotpot for four straight days.
Five years later, when we talk about this trip again,
My dad: “Oh, yeah, Britain. I’ve been there. (Lights a cigarette) It’s not good. (Waves hands) Thank god we have Y (my uncle) around to cook for us. If I had the chance, though, I’d go again. They have tasty milk there.”
My uncle: “No, God, please. Don’t go again, I beg you!””
Comments say, “Lol, this is so realistic. “This sort of restaurant would never survive in China.” “I can’t believe this is what people eat.””
“I’m so curious. So many people move overseas—why doesn’t anyone with chef talent ever open a restaurant?”
“Hahahaha, I totally get it—every child who studies overseas is forced to become a New East Academy graduate.” [Famous culinary school in China]
Under the hashtag #young man gets scammed out of 510K in bride price and demands it back, a blogger writes, “I can’t believe what bullshit people are spewing in the comment sections. Scam this, fraud that. The reality is, the two of them had a fight, he locked his girlfriend out of the house, and she froze all night and had a miscarriage as a result of it, and that’s why she doesn’t want to marry him anymore. He included the cost of him building his own house and buying a car for himself as a part of the 510K, as a part of the ”Bride Price”, even though the actual bride price was only 188K.”
Comments say, “Don’t be fooled by social media. What’s the actual headline? Sure, the 510K he spent on the wedding includes the cost of building a house and buying a car, but what’s the second half of that sentence? He wants his bride price returned. What are you going on about, he locked his fiancee outside and caused a miscarriage? Why didn’t she just go home? If she can’t show any evidence, then can I just claim that you owe me a million RMB? Not like I have any evidence either.”
“You can find all of this on tiktok. She miscarried at her house. She had the ticket stub, text screenshots, hospital records as proof. The man was never around for it. The house wasn’t included in the 510K, but he did include 155K for his car. She got to pick which car, but he owns it. When he brought up divorce and demanded his bride price back, there’s proof that she contacted him about how she didn’t want a divorce, and even the court acknowledged this. I know you’re doing it with good intentions, but you should research the situation. There’s a lot of internet bullying these days. The man is a victim in all of this too.”
“I don’t understand how you can freeze to the point of having a miscarriage? Did she get locked on a balcony naked? Or does she not know how to move her legs? Can’t you just go into a KFC or a motel? Why would you just stand there? What’s the court decision anyways?”
A…horrifying tiktok video of a man showing the three types of men that he thinks women are into. [Warning: potential cognitohazard]
The three types are shota, puppy dog, and wolf cub, respectively.
Comments say, “I want to punch him in the face.”
“Did he fucking watch this before he posted it?”
“[Vomit emoji]”
A tiktok video of an…extremely emotional recital of song lyrics to a song, “I have no K.” I believe the title means, “I have no money”. The content of the lyrics is um…about…um…A dinosaur carrying a wolf and…I don’t understand this, to be honest. I cannot explain this phenomenon. My knowledge of Chinese internet memes have failed me. I have no idea how to translate any of this. I’ve failed you.
Comments say, “Do I need a resume to watch this livestream, or a mental illness diagnosis?”
“They’re so poor they’ve went crazy hahahahaha.”
“Which livestream is this? I want to go run wild too.”