A table showing the gender balance of boys to girls in China city, by city, by age group. The columns are respectively Region, 0 year olds, 1-4 year olds, 5-9 year olds, and 10-14 year olds.
The orange rows are the stats for the province as a whole, and underneath it is all the cities in the province. Or it is a special administrative zone (for major cities like Beijing or Shanghai), and underneath are all the boroughs in them.
It starts with Jiangsu, then Zhejiang, then Liaoning, then Jilin, then Heilongjiang, then Hebei, then Shanxi, then Inner Mongolia, then Chongqing, then Tianjin, then Shanghai, then Xinjiang, then Beijing, then Gansu, then Qinghai, then Ningxia, then Yunnan, then Tibet, then Sha’anxi, then Hainan (oh my god Hainan what the fuck), then Sichuan, then Guizhou, then Guangdong, then Guangxi, then Hubei, then Hunan, then Shandong, then Henan, then Anhui, then Fujian, and finishes with Jiangxi.
Comments say, “No wait, you can choose whether you have a girl or boy? O.O”
“Oh my god, Jiangxi is so red.”
“It fits in with my stereotypes perfectly.”
Remember the blogger telling off rural women for having access to the internet and yet not being any smarter to the exploitation they’re subject to? The original post that that blogger was responding to is on the front pages today.
“My brother just finished his wedding, but my parents have been secretly crying at lot, saying that his wife is like some great ancestor they have to worship, because of the horrible custom of “moving yet unmoving, sweeping yet supporting”. (really bad translation, I know, it rhymes a lot better in Chinese. The original wording is 一动不动, 一甩一扶”)
It should’ve been a really happy event for my brother to get married, but what happened on the wedding has deeply chilled my parents’ hearts. I can only sigh. They’re not gonna get a single good day in their life.
My brother’s 28 years old this year. In our village, that counts as an old bachelor. My parents were super anxious. There are a ton of men who are in their thirties and still unmarried. My parents are really worried that my brother’s gonna be single his whole life.
In order to make sure he can afford a wife, my parents worked their ass off in construction teams, and built him a two-story brick house. Because you can’t find a wife without a house. After they built the new house, they started asking around for people to introduce dates to him.
Finally, a girl from a neighbouring village fell for my brother. After being introduced, they dated for two years. This year, when it came time for engagement, the girl’s parents said that they want the customary 30K in bride price and also a car from my parents.
Both my parents are down to earth farmers. Where would they find this much money? But they realised that my brother has to hold onto this wife, or else he’ll never find anyone again. So they had to grit their teeth and agree, and then go around trying to borrow money from everyone they know to buy a 100K car. And that’s when my brother finally got engaged.
In order to make sure they have a big, proper wedding, my parents once again worked their ass off, set up the venue themselves, hired an officiator, just so my SIL can feel how important she is to our family.
But when it’s time for her to serve my parents tea, she grinned at my mom and said, “Mom, please have some tea. You’re gonna take care of our baby in the future.” And then she said to my dad, “Dad, please have some tea. You’re gonna earn money for the household in the future.”
Everyone laughed except my parents. They could only awkwardly take the tea and drink it. They probably wanted to hear something warm and comforting from their DIL. Honestly, I felt really bad for them, but there was nothing I could do.
After the wedding, once we were free, I was chatting with my cousin. She’s lived in a rural village all her life too, and she’s just at a marriageable age and is looking for a date. When I sighed that, “It’s way too hard to find a wife in the countryside these days.” my cousin told me that right now, the standard for a husband right now is, “moving yet unmoving, sweeping yet supporting.” Who doesn’t want to live comfortably after being married?
I looked at her all confused and asked what she meant. She remarked, “Wow, how did you ever get a SIL if you don’t even know this much.”
She explained that right now, for a rural girl looking for a husband, the minimum standard is a house and a car. And in order to avoid in-law conflicts, you have to agree beforehand to live separately. You also have to see if your in-laws are willing to take care of any babies with you, whether they can earn money to support your little family. And if you want to help our your own family, your husband can’t be against it, because you need to take care of your own parents too.
When she said that, I suddenly understood my parents’ situation, and I didn’t know what to feel. Although I’m a woman too, I don’t really agree with this point of view.
My parents originally figured that once the wedding was over, they’d use the wedding gifts to pay back their debts. But my SIL took all the money and only gave my parents 2K. She gave her own parents 10K out of the rest, saying that it wasn’t easy for her parents to raise her, and since she took such a low bride price, it’s only right they take a little more now.
After they got married, they moved into the new house. My parents wanted to move in too, but my SIL said that it’s inconvenient to live together. It’s better to live separately, and she asked my parents to stay in their old house.
My parents were upset at first, but then they figured it’s not so bad living separately. You all get to have your own lives and avoid conflict. But even though they’re living apart, my brother and SIL show up to my parents’ for every meal, and often as my parents to go over and help them clean their house, saying that they’re busy with work and can’t get around to it. But actually, as soon as they get home, they just slump on the couch and watch TV.
My parents complained to me, so I told them, “Next time they tell you to come over and clean, just make my brother do it. Yell at him if you have to. What kind of man makes his parents serve him when he’s already got a wife?”
My parents have worked hard their whole lives and took on mountains of debt for my brother. And now that he’s married and living in a new house, they’re still living in their old run-down house, and are being demanded with childcare and making money.
My parents say that they didn’t gain a DIL, they gained a princess, a great ancestor. They feel awful about it on the inside, but they still have to be smiling and polite, because they’re worried that their DIL will leave. What can they do when they have a useless son?
A lot of people say that the reason to have children is because they’ll take care of you in old age, but the reality in the country side is that their children are taking their lives in old age. I feel really bad for my parents, but there’s nothing I can do. I can’t change anything.
It’s not just my parents. It’s all the old people in the countryside. I’ve never seen anyone who can really enjoy their old age. They all work hard in their youth for their kids, thinking it’ll be better once their kids are grown. But once their sons grow up and get married, they discover that not only do they have to keep working, but they have to take care of their grandchild too.
In my village, even old people in their 70s or 80s have to work in the fields, feed the pigs, and cook food. Sometimes I wonder what their lives are even for. Just for kids? They’ve never enjoyed a single day of their life.
I mean, in the end, it’s still my brother’s fault. He never studied properly when he was little. He worked for a couple of years, but never earned much money. The last couple of years, he finally got stable, learned carpentry, and started earning money. But now he’s older, can’t wait anymore, and spent quite a lot on dating in these last 2 years too.
So the burden fell on my parents. My parents don’t want to watch him be single, so they have to support him with everything they have. And now they’re suffering for it.
Honestly, I understand. Every girl wants a happy marriage, and that’s why they have these standards. In the end, if the man is capable and responsible, his parents wouldn’t face as bad of a situation.
From my brother’s marriage, I can see:
“Moving” means movable assets, like cars. “Not moving” means real estate, like houses. Basically, it means that to get a wife, you need a house and a car.
“Sweeping” means to sweep aside hassle. For example, not living with your in-laws to avoid conflict with them. Your in-laws have to help you with your baby and earn money for you, so you can sweep aside the hassle of raising a kid and earning income.
“Supporting” means supporting your own family, because it wasn’t easy for your parents to raise you. So your brother’s problems are also your in-laws’ problems. They’ve got to help out.
From my point of view, this is just a new form of sucking your parents’ blood. Basically, it’s, “You’ve got to agree to let me suck your blood, or I won’t marry your son.”
They look like simple demands, but they’re putting old people in hell.”
Comments say, “If you’re not happy, then don’t marry her. The bride price was only 30K, and the marital house is just a self-built house in the countryside. The car is barely 100K, and bought with borrowed money. They’ve only got one son, and they gotta go in debt to marry him off? They call their DIL a princess. Then what is their son? Why do they complain about their DIL being lazy, but never complain about their son? With your brother’s situations, you should be thanking the high heavens that he got married at all. Stop being such a special snowflake.”
“Your son is the only one sucking his parents’ blood. What’s any of this got to do with your SIL?”
“You’re just an outsider. Stop involving yourself in [Insert Surname]’s family affairs. They’re a family, not you.”
“I found videos of a mom hand-making baby food on Chinese youtube, and I was all like, “Wow, she’s being so scientific. She’s making super nutritionally balanced meals! It’s a little complicated, there’s a lot of steaming involved, but still!” But when I opened the comment section, they’re all telling her off, saying she doesn’t deserve to be a mom, that she’s raising her kid like a dog or something.
I don’t get it. What’s wrong with this food? Have I been living worse than a dog for 20 years and never known it?”
She shows screenshots of the comments below, which say, “I don’t get it, but I respect it. Not all moms instantly become moms once they have a kid. Everyone has their own personality and interests.”
“This is your responsibility. Once you have a kid, you have to be a mom. Or else you shouldn’t have had the kid. It’s not like the kid demanded to be born.”
“Not all moms instantly become moms once they have a kid. Wow, that line made me laugh. From the point of view of the law, morality, family, objectively, and biology, you’re a mom. How is there any doubt in this?”
“I mean, I’m not trying to be offensive, but if you don’t want to be a mom, then don’t have kids. Kids are innocent.”
“You’re a fucking special one, aren’t you? If you really want freedom, then don’t have kids. Once you have them, you gotta take responsibility. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. It’s because of you that at the very least, your kid’s gonna have an unfortunate childhood, and at the most, you’ve created large amounts of cheap, low-grade labour for society. If you really want freedom, then just stay single and there’s no problem. But if you’ve had kids and you still pursue freedom, you’re just a fucking retard.”
“Dude, if you’re really trying for perfect nutritional balance, then have your mom make you a big pot of slop, and every time it’s meal time, she just plops a spoonful onto your plate. Don’t complain about how it’s bad—it’s nutritionally balanced.”
“Are you raising a dog?”
“You could’ve just not had a kid to begin with. It’s even more hassle free that way.”
“I mean, I feel like the only advantage to raising a kid this way is that once he’s school age, he won’t be a picky eager, or get hungry at school. He’s gonna shovel down cafeteria food like he hasn’t eaten in years.”
“Did you eat like this when you were a kid?”
“I mean, this isn’t a bad way to raise your dog.”
“Even a dog would turn up his nose at this. Why don’t you eat it?”
“Parent: I think this is pretty good. Kid: I think this is pretty good. Internet commenters: BARKBARKBARKBARKBARK。”
“What the fuck opinions can a kid have if they grow up eating this, and they’ve never eaten anything else? I mean, sure, it’s nutritious, but it’s like making a kid grow up studying all the time and never playing games. Who can put up with that shit?”
“If you’re gonna have a kid, then please take care of him properly. If kids are raised irresponsibly, they’re better off never having been born.”
“I mean, lots of dads have kids and never act like dads to them. Now some moms just want to be dads, is all.”
“The CEO of Sanlu baby formula, who has destroyed the futures of over 300,000 babies, has appealed her life sentence in 2011 and turned it into a 19 year sentence. In 2014, she got a sentence reduction of 1 year and 9 months again. And in 2016, she got a sentence reduction of 1 year and 6 months again. Now she will be released in 2027, 3rd of August. She is preparing for her fourth appeal for a sentence reduction. If she’s successful, then she’ll be released very soon.”
Comments say, “If my kid got hurt as bad as she hurt those kids, I can promise that the second she’s out of jail, she’s going to die in a car accident.”
“She poisoned 300,000 babies! 300,000 lives! Why didn’t she get an immediate death sentence? Why are we releasing her to hurt more people?”
“What the fuck? You can get a life sentence reduced? Are our laws just a decoration? Someone like her should’ve gotten a death sentence!”
"From my brother’s marriage, I can see" Is part of this sentence missing?