Lately, after the college entrance exams were over, the images of a janitor lady waiting outside the exam location for her son and hugging him while crying has moved many internet commenters. As results come out, the janitor lady’s son reveals that he scored 470 points, over the college admittance score in Hebei by 31 points, coming in around 138356th to 139707th in Hebei Province. He’s asking the internet for advice on what school he should try to apply to.
Comments say, “Man, choosing where you apply and what you want to major in is almost harder than the exams themselves.”
“It’s not a great score though. He’s looking at the bottom tier of local in-state unis or a private uni.”
“I suggest he get an engineering degree!”
“I’ve got a second baby on the way. He came in the middle of my determined journey to diet, while I was deep in the throes of yoga and jogging and cutting out carbs. He came with a determination to stay. By the time I found out, there was already a heartbeat. We were past the dangerous early stage.
This was 100% an accident. I don’t think I’m really in a position to have a second baby. I’ve said more than once that I’m not having another baby in the short-term. But he came, and after a bunch of introspection and internal debate, I decided to let him stay.
Last year, early December, when I weaned my daughter, my period never came back. I thought it was just a hormonal imbalance issue, and went to the hospital to check up in February. The doctor suggested a pregnancy test, and I swore at the time that there’s no way I’m pregnant. I’m using contraception. The doctor says that there’s no such thing as absolutely effective contraception, and we should test it anyways. The test result came back negative, and there was nothing wrong with my hormones either.
After that, I made a commitment with my friend to keep each other on track for dieting, and did that for a while before my stomach started feeling uncomfortable and I was bloating a lot. So I stopped my diet, fearing that cutting out carbs might be damaging my digestive system. At the end of March, I had just finished dinner one day when I threw up. My sister asked me if I was pregnant. And I was like, “No way! I’d just taken a test and it came back negative. I must’ve just ruined my stomach with that diet or something.” And thought nothing of it. But a couple of days later, again, after dinner, I threw up. I started wondering too. So the next time I went to the store, I bought a test from the pharmacy and used it. And it was positive.
I hurried to the hospital, and once they took a look on ultrasound, the baby was 9+ weeks along. That means I was pregnant in January. Maybe it was still too early in February, and he didn’t show up on the test?
I was totally shocked. When I gave birth to my daughter, the doctor said my body needs time to heal and I should wait on a second baby. And before I get pregnant again, I need to come into the hospital to do some checkups and some preparation work. So I’ve been terrified of an accidental pregnant. But what you fear most always comes true.
So I went and saw the ob/gyn Department Head, and saw my usual ob/gyn too who knows my situation. And what they concluded was that it’s fine to have the baby, an abortion would be even worse for my body, but they might have to sew my cervix shut for the second trimester.
I just finished with that surgery last month. Had an epidural. It was a pretty quick process, but I needed to lay flat on my back for six hours after surgery. Really felt like my back was going to snap in half. I was totally exhausted. When it was finally time and I could roll over on my side, I was so hungry, I felt like I was going to pass out. But I could only drink a little bit of rice porridge. I had an IV going on both my hands, and one of them hurt a lot. I was bloated all to hell. The doctor said there was a risk after surgery of infection, which might cause an early water break. Or my cervix might open early, necessitating bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy. There’s even a risk of premature birth or miscarriage. When I hear, I couldn’t help but get super anxious too.
Thankfully, it’s been a month since I left the hospital, and I’ve been feeling fine so far. So I guess I’ll share this news finally on weibo.
I often make fun of myself for being an extremely motherly person who also loves freedom. I know that I like to chill, hate hassles, and am pretty lazy. So that’s why I swore I was not getting pregnant again in the short term. But now I’m about to have my second child. That’s just fate. Even if I’m worried and anxious, I’m going to face it with strength anyways.
So, I hope it all goes well, and my baby can arrive safely at my side after all these misadventures.”
Comments say, “What kind of contraceptive did you use? Condoms?” OP says, “Yeah, except for around Chinese New Years when we went to my husband’s hometown, when we ran out of condoms and did the withdrawal method. Maybe that’s when I got pregnant. But I’m not sure for certain. My friend had her condom break, and she took a Plan B, but still got pregnant.”
“You’re so great! So brave!”
“I’ve been through the same situation, with needing my cervix sewn shut with my second baby. I was able to continue the pregnancy until the proper 40 weeks. Don’t worry, just get into a positive mindset.”
“The rain had just let up, so I took a book with me outside and was reading it, when I overheard a girl absolutely bawling into her phone. She was crying to her husband, because she had gotten into a fight with her in-laws. Her FIL screamed at her in defense of her MIL.
Tearfully, she yelled, “My husband’s never yelled at me! My dad’s never yelled at me! How dare he yell at me? They never washed the milk bottles! Why else would they be mouldy? How could they get mouldy in one day? He’s just defending his wife!”
At first, she was furious. After a while of talking to her husband, she just got spiteful. “I don’t want them to help. Can I just take the baby myself? I don’t want them to touch anything again! I’ll take care of them! I’ll take care of the old, and then take care of the young.”
Another ten minutes pass, and her crying dies down a bit. I thought her husband had done a good job comforting her, but the next thing out of her mouth is, “I don’t want to put you in a tough spot either, but who’s thinking of me? No wonder your daughter hates her grandpa.”
My god, her anguish was like water squeezed out of a kitchen towel, wet and sticky and covered in the mouldy smell of oil and salt and tea.
This is all her own words. The three women who appear in this conversation, the crying wife, the MIL, the daughter, all appear as subjects to someone else. “His wife” “Your daughter”.
I listened to her as she went from screaming and yelling to calm, and saw her digest a problem that was completely unsolvable.
She’s been consumed by the traditional family. The only evidence she can provide for why she shouldn’t be abused is, “My husband’s never yelled at me! My dad’s never yelled at me!” Her patriarchal owners treated her with care. She shouldn’t be abused by other unrelated patriarchs. She places hope in her husband, her “new father” to get justice for her, but her new father has to be subservient to his father too. And it all ends with, “I’m in a tough spot too.”
I was bitten twice by mosquitoes while sitting out there. Very itchy, but not life threatening. But I immediately left.
In a woman’s life, she is going to encounter countless problems with the patriarchy exactly like mosquito bites. They suck a little bit of your blood, it’s not life-threatening, but it’s certainly an uncomfortable inconvenience you have to live with.
I call it the tragedy of the mosquito bite.”
In the comment section, OP follows up with a pinned top comment, “The upper limit of what a traditional female can imagine happiness is like is still far too low. When she’s bawling her eyes out in the middle of the night because she was yelled at by her in-laws, it’s just a minor conflict. But her usual state of, “has a dad who cares for me, has a husband who loves me, has in-laws who take care of the baby” is still a state of happiness.
I think the crying girl would still identify as “happy” most of the time, and that’s why I call this type of familial trap as a “the tragedy of the non-life-threatening mosquito bite”. Because your 20% of suffering will be diffused by 80% of normal daily life, and make people think that those moments of suffering don’t mean much at all. It’s not domestic violence. Nobody is trying to murder you, right?
But actually, this type of slowly grinding problems is the biggest damage to your psychology. They’re like a chisel, slowly chipping away the tenderest shoots on the top of the female tree, telling females, “You should just be content being a bush. Bushes are the foundation of society.”
Imagine a better happiness for yourself. If you’re loved by your father, then use that love to get yourself more resources, to exchange for more power and more freedom. Use your power to take care of your subservients, use a look from your eyes to stop offensive people.
Grow taller. Break through the limits of your imagination.”
Other comments say, “Like water squeezed out of a kitchen towel, wet and sticky and covered in the mouldy smell of oil and salt and tea.—holy shit, you’re descriptions are so evocative! That’s amazing! I’m so jealous of your sensitivity to and control of words.”
“The saddest part is that nobody divorces over small stuff like this, because everyone will tell them, “Just put up with it”.”
“Honestly, buy a dishwasher. It can’t solve the problems with your husband, or his dad. You’ve got to live with them, you’ve got no other choice. Whether there was a kid in the picture, you’d be forced to put up with their shit. But when it comes to daily conveniences, you don’t have to wash your own clothes or your own dishes. It frees up at least 2 hours a day to scroll weibo!”
A blogger responds to someone complaining about how their child inherited mental problems from their maternal grandma and can’t speak, and writes, “A lot of people talk on and on about how their baby inherited shit from their grandma. But her grandma might have mental illness, but she’s very smart, kind, and grateful. Has never hurt anyone, and is very competent at dealing with life. And yet, her grandpa’s own brother, her father’s own uncle, her own granduncle, is a deaf person. When her child can’t speak at ten years old, isn’t it more normal to say it came from the father’s side of the family?
But none of this is true anyways. You’ve got to believe science. If the best hospitals in Beijing and Guangdong and Chongqing all ran tests and told you that it was a sudden genetic mutation, then I’d just take their word for it.”
He shows screenshots of the original comments on the original post.
“If your mom has a history of mental illness, didn’t you tell your husband about it while you were still dating? Your daughter probably did inherit it from her grandma. I’ve got a classmate whose mom has epilepsy and mental problems, and need to take medicine all the time, but my classmate got lucky and didn’t get any of it. But she’s scared to marry now, because she doesn’t want to pass it onto the next generation. You’ve got a lot of misfortune in your life, but you’re not a responsible mother.”
“Yeah, if the kiddo’s dad doesn’t have any history in his family, then chances are, it comes from the grandma. But your classmate can find a guy who’s willing to be child-free. There are lots of people who don’t want to get married and don’t want children nowadays.”
“Genetics are scary. My family is prone to Hep B. My dad has it, my sister has it, and I have it. And my aunt and my cousin both have it. Back in the day, it’s the sort of thing that would get you discriminated against in the workplace. You couldn’t even get a factory job. :P”
The first poster replies, “My classmate had a heart defect from birth. I think it was from all the meds her mom had to take for her epilepsy and mental problems. Her heart never developed properly. She’s 27 now, super short and fat, and has a girlfriend. Most men aren’t into my classmate. But her dad is a great guy. He never beats her mom, and takes care of her.”
“My family is super poor. I was born at home, not in a hospital. My parents never got any shots for me. I’ve never gotten any kind of vaccines. Neither me nor my sister have a vaccine record. We’re destitute. But my sister and I still lived to our twenties with no problems. Sometimes, I really hate my parents for having kids when they’re that poor.”
A tiktokker who photographs good-looking strangers they find on the street approaches a man close to 40 to ask for photos.
Photographer, “Sorry for interrupting you—“
Guy: “Are you filming a video?”
Girl Filming: “We make tiktok videos. Don’t worry, uncle, I’ll make sure you look great in my videos.”
Guy: “At my age, I don’t really care whether I look good.”
Photographer: “Then do you care that she just called you uncle?”
Guy: “I don’t mind at all.”
Photographer: “I’m a photographer on tiktok. Oh, there are mosquitos!”
Guy: “It’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.”
Photographer: “I thought you looked great. I noticed you as soon as I got off the car. And I’ve never photographed old men before. Here, let me show you my tiktok account. Here is where I’ll upload any photos I take of you.”
Guy: “You’ve got a whole bunch of twinks on here. You sure you can handle someone as old as me?”
Photographer: “Is it alright to ask how old you are?”
Guy: “Almost forty.”
Photographer: “It’s exactly cause I’ve never photographed your type before! We can do this right by your car.”
Guy: “How long is this gonna take?”
Photographer: “About twenty minutes. Do you have time?”
Guy: “Sure.”
[After photography session]
Photographer: “You got anything you want fixed in photoshop?”
Guy: “Nah, there’s no need.”
Photograph: “Alright. If there are any small flaws in your face, I’ll just fix that.”
Guy: “Sure, sure.”
Comments say, “He doesn’t look like an “uncle” at all. If someone called him “uncle” right off the bat, that means he probably looks like shit with the filters off.”
“He told his plastic surgeon to make him look like Li Yifeng, didn’t he?”
“I mean, he is good-looking, but he’s greasy as hell too. Like early-stage Huang Xiaoming.”
“If I just started working and am still living with my parents, do I need to pay them for my living expenses?
I just graduated this year, finished my internship in April, and started full-time work at the beginning of June. I’ve been living this whole time at home, but I’ve never asked my parents for money. But today, when I was giving my dad cash in return for some wechat money, he jokingly asked me how much I plan to pay them for me living at home. I joked right back and told him five bucks. And he laughed and said that five bucks doesn’t even buy a watermelon.
At dinner, I told my mom about this conversation, and she said that he’s just joking with me. Even if he took my money, it would only to save it up for me.
They’ve said before that they want me to turn in a portion of my salary. They’d be happy with either 500 or 1000. They say it’s because they’re worried I’ll go through my money too fast, but honestly, I don’t even know how much I make per month right now, so I don’t really want them to hold onto it for me. I feel like it would be awkward to have to keep asking them for money.
My parents have got three kids. My sister’s married already. My brother is in his freshman year. My friends are all telling me to watch out, and to not let my family know how much money I have. But should I pay a little bit of money while living at home? Should I give them a portion of my salary?
Last night, my dad brought up contributing to the household again. He said that I need to cover the expenses for Chinese New Year starting from this year. That after raising me for this many years, it’s time I paid them back.
I mean, that’s the truth, but I’m really annoyed at how pushy he’s being about this. I haven’t even been working for a month yet. I haven’t gotten even a single pay cheque yet. And he’s already calculating how much of it is his? It’s so annoying.”
Comments say, “Get out of their house as soon as possible. Asking for money as soon as you start working? They’re just getting ready to slaughter the lamb they’ve raised. They’ll probably make you help buy your brother a house too. It’s the archetypical Chinese family. All the money goes to the son, all the responsibility goes to the daughter. The earlier you see through them, the better.”
“Don’t give them money. You can buy daily necessities, or order take out for them, or pay for groceries. Just set the limit to about 1K a month. If they still insist on holding onto your salary for you, then you really do need to watch out.”
“I mean, if we calculate the investment and the pay out, parents raise their kids for 20 years, and want their kids to take care of them from forty to eighty? That’s some manipulative bullshit.”
The official headshots of the Beijing Film University 2022 class is out—a school well known for how good-looking its students are.
Comments say, “I don’t really get any of the guys, but all the girls are super, super pretty. There are several girls who look really similar to a lot of actresses right now active on the silver screen.”
“They’re all good, I just can’t tell them apart. They’ve all got the same style. They’ve all got the same internet-popular type of make up. Aside from a couple of girls who went for the all natural look and stood out, all the others look just sort of the same. Can’t see anything unique about them. All the guys are the same type too. Can’t tell them apart. We’re getting closer and closer to Korean beauty pageants.”
“Our standard of beauty has fallen way too much. Oh god, help me.”
Some of those photos definitely look altered. Look at the arms of the girl in the fourth-to-last photo, for instance.