06/26/23 - For people with a lot of money, sons are better. For people with no money, daughters are better.
“I went on a 2-day vacation to Suzhou for Midsummer Festival, and excitedly got my dad a hood ornament for his car, and a hand-embroidered scarf for my mom. I went to an ancient shop here to buy authentic Suzhou cakes, which were heavy as shit, and hauled everything back. And aside from my friends, who loved everything, my mom just told me off for buying too much expensive stuff, and my dad wouldn’t even try a bite of the cakes. It was super disappointing. Guess next time I’ll just focus on myself and never buy gifts again.”
Comments say, “You spent your parents’ money, didn’t you? If it was your own money, no one would complain.”
“My mom used to be this way too. Every time we went out to a restaurant, she’d go on and on about how every dish is too expensive, that she can’t afford it. Even though she spends more than that on groceries every time. When I took her shoe-shopping, she went out of her way to wear the shabbiest, most broken down pair of shoes she owned. And she’d walk around the store and mumble to herself about how it’s all too expensive. Whenever we travel or eat out, she’ll deliberately not eat everything and just keep urging me to eat more, that it was all for me. Even though we ordered enough food for three people.”
“I mean, everyone’s got different tastes. The trademark foods of my hometown is a treasure to me, but other people might not like it.”
Another compilation of people with delusions that their children can be child models and people’s response to it.
“I don’t know whether my daughter’s more suitable for photography or catwalks. Just can’t decide.”
“Tell me whether he can make it or not. If he can, he can. If he can’t, he can’t. Don’t bullshit me.”
“Hello. He can’t.”
“He can’t.”
“He can’t.”
“He can’t.”
“I’ve been looking through the comments and really worried about mom-coloured glasses now. I tell my son every day that he’s adorable. Can anyone take a look for me?”
“Well, he’s certainly unique.”
“You’re spoiling her :P”
More responses to the first photo: “What is this comment section even going on about? If you don’t have a sense of beauty, don’t tell other people that their kids are ordinary-looking. This is picture-perfect supermodel looks, okay? OP, don’t listen to them. Believe in yourself. Your daughter will surely get super popular. Don’t waste this god-given opportunity. [Doge] [Doge] [Doge]”
“Hahahaha, don’t be ridiculous.”
“If you hadn’t added on the Doges at the end, I was ready to pull my knife.”
“I’m honestly shocked by the comment section. You’re all going to have kids one day. There’s no objective definition of beauty. You don’t have to call other people ugly. Honestly, what’s even your mindset? The moment I saw the picture, I thought she’d make a great supermodel. It’s a very unique child face.”
“There’s no objective definition of beauty, but there are objective standards for child models.”
“Um…Well…I don’t know what to say. Maybe your idea of beauty really is different from everyone else’s. But this kid really does just look ordinary. You don’t have to force yourself to call her pretty. What’s mentality got to do with just pointing out objective facts?”
“The more I read these posts, the more I get scared. If I have children, am I going to become like these moms too?”
“She’s got a beautiful brow, very dark and bright eyes, a smooth face shape and pink lips. Her lips are very full. And this hairstyle plus her expression makes her look like a cool little warrior. She’s super cute and unique!”
“But she’s just a normal little kid.”
“I mean, by that logic, every kid is a normal kid, what’s the difference?”
A lady with the surname Wang, living in Beijing, posted on her weibo, claiming that while she was in a public bathroom, she was peeped on by and photographed by an old man. He was caught on the spot, and she’s posted the whole event on the internet in order to expose him and his picture. The police was supposed to put him in jail for 5 days, but because the old man has bad health, the police only lectured him before letting him go. She’s sued the old man in civil court, demanding an apology and compensation. She says, “I screamed for help until my throat was hoarse. It’s still raw, and he’s already gone back to his normal life.”
Comments say, “This teaches us that so long as you have bad health as an old person, you can do whatever you want and the law can’t do shit about it.”
“The police are so nice to old people.”
“In this day and age, marriage is just a protection for assault and battery, and bad health is a way to escape the law. Is it really so easy to commit crimes these days?”
“I just stumbled onto a story here of a lady who got Uremia, got a new kidney, but had rejection problems with it, and ended up passing away. Her husband got remarried right away. Before she died, she asked her parents to pay back her coworker that she had borrowed money from. So her parents had to come out of retirement to work to pay back the debts.
This was supposed to be a story about the warmth of humanity. And in the comment section, everyone’s praising the people involved. But I’ve got to pour a bucket of cold water on this.
Our laws has never supported children inheriting the debts of their parents, or parents inheriting the debts of their children. The legal code of China specifies that debts can be paid out of the deceased’s estate, up to the value of the estate. Anything above that value can only be paid back on a voluntary basis by the inheritor of the estate.
Using this case, if this lady had left any money to her parents, then her parents can use that money to pay back her debts. But if not, her parents have no obligation to pay anything back. The law doesn’t ban them from paying it anyways out of the goodness of their heart, but it doesn’t encourage it either. Between grown adult children and their parents, unless you’ve inherited each other’s property, otherwise, you have no obligation to pay back any debts the other person owed.
My position is, “Sure, they did a great thing in this case, but this can’t turn into the default and used to take other people in similar situation’s morality hostage.”
And also, in this case, I feel like the point that deserves more of the spotlight is: what about her husband? They were married for several years. Does she not have any joint property with him? Is this not a shared debt? If one party of a married couple borrows money to pay for medical expenses, it counts as shared debt. Rather than putting this burden on your parents, why not put it on your husband?”
Comments say, “A lot of people can’t escape having their morality taken hostage.”
“Last time I read this story, it said that they got divorced when her husband wouldn’t agree to the transplant surgery.”
“A mistake a lot of parents make is demanding that their children respond immediately.
Say, your son is playing with legos in his room, building a big project. Suddenly, the doorbell rings and your delivery is here. You open the package and see that it’s the Manchester Soccer jersey you ordered him for 6/18, so you yell, “Son, come here. Your jersey’s arrived!”
Your son is focused on his legos. He doesn’t hear you, so he doesn’t respond.
You raise your voice. “YOUR MANCHESTER JERSEY IS HERE!”
Your son still doesn’t respond.
You’re angry now, and stomp your way to his room. “The fuck are you doing? I’ve yelled for you tons of times. Did you hear a word? Try this on and see if it fits!”
Your son is at an important step in his legos, he’s staring at his puzzle intently and waves you off with a, “I’ll do it later.” You throw the jersey on his bed and tell him, “I’ll never buy clothes for you again!”
Your son finally senses that you’re not happy, and reluctantly puts down his legos to try on his jersey, while you’re complaining endlessly the whole time.
Yesterday, I got invited by Dongjian (another blogger) to talk over livestream about how to educate your kids. And we answered questions from a lot of anxious parents, and the same problems come up over and over again.
Kids are slow to get anything done, procrastinate all the time, and drag out doing their homework until midnight.
Kids lack focus. They keep fidgeting while doing homework.
Kids have a bad temper, has no patience, won’t listen to reason.
Kids keep making the same mistakes. They keep doing something that you’ve told them off for tons of times.
And all of these problems that raise blood pressure in parents can all be traced back to overly high demands on kids when they were young. Basically, demanding that they respond immediately. If they don’t, then the parent ceaselessly hounds them, even yells at them, and forces them to respond. That way, you can feel very powerful and like you have a very obedient child.
What’s the result? Your child grows up in an uneasy environment. Their focus has been completely destroyed. When you want your kid to respond, ask yourself.
Does this have to get done right now? Can it wait 10 minutes?”
How much does my kid even need to do this? Does it help him at all?
What if my kid currently doing? Should I interrupt him?
Respecting your child starts with not forcing them to respond immediately.”
Comments say, “Someones, I call for my kid and he ignores me. A lot of the times, I’ll reflexively keep calling for him, but then I started to wake up. I used to feel like not responding to me isn’t polite, and I’m worried that he’ll be rude to other people. And that’s why I’d force him to respond to me. But then, I was like, “Hey, isn’t it good news that he’s playing on his own right now? More me time for me!””
“My parents are like this. As soon as food is ready, I have to be at the table right away. Doesn’t matter if I’m literally taking a dump.”
“Yeah, My childhood was like this too. If I don’t respond within three calls of me, it turns into a violent family conflict.”
“I just listened to a middle-aged lady talk about the difference between sons and daughters on the bus. The lady said so many stereotypical lines that I honestly couldn’t help myself but laugh. I got a lot of eye-rolls from everyone else.
The lady was like, “For people with a lot of money, sons are better. For people with no money, daughters are better.”
And everyone laughed at that, and she continued, “Nah, don’t laugh. I’m a woman too, and I feel this way. I’ve got two daughters. My daughter’s babies all took my husband’s surname. People ask me whether they’re my grandkids (孙子—grandkids by your son, considered to be properly in your family line) or my grandkids (外孙 — grandkids by your daughter, literally outsider grandkids, considered to not be in your family line), and I was like, of course they’re my 外孙. How could they be my 孙子. There’s a huge difference.”
If her daughter heard what she said, she’d probably spew blood. But all the other middle-aged ladies on the bus were all nodding along with her.
Honestly, back in the day, when daughters married out, they didn’t have any obligation to their birth family. But with our current laws, sons and daughters have an equal legal obligation to take care of their parents and inherit their parents’ property.
Today, when I heard this type of talk in a place that likes to think of itself as not sexist at all, I felt really uncomfortable as a girl. What made me feel even more uncomfortable is that not a single other passenger said anything like that sons and daughters were all the same.”
Comments say, “Yeah, but in actual life, daughters inherit next to nothing.”
“Gender equality education in China has a long way to go yet.”
“But most parents live with their son and their DIL. I’ve never heard of anyone living with their daughter and SIL. They pay for the marital house, but only the daughter’s MIL and FIL get to enjoy it.”
Lately, there’s been a rumour circulating that due to the shrinking economy, Sichuan had to sell their famous Leshan Giant Buddha. The official Leshan Tourism Management Board Director has came out to clarify that they merely auctioned off the rights to put up stores at the tourist spot and run tourist busses there for 1.7 billion RMB.
A tiktok video of a fight between two brothers, with the blogging joking, “The bigger one had to take a look at the referee for permission before he could go on the offensive.”
Comments say, “The little one was being pretty vicious. I’d say the older one is holding back.”
“The older one at least knows to use something soft. The little one is hitting with hard objects.”
“The parents should’ve done something about it as soon as he picked hard plastic up.”
Typo: s[ew should be spew