06/18/25 - ”Working a 9 to 5” used to be an expression to describe a boring life.
Question: “Do police dogs know they’re police dogs?”
A compilation of answers:
“Look, they’re getting written up. Do you think they know?” [A photo of a notice writing up four police dogs for 1. Police Dog 110 peed everywhere in the dorms on the 3rd of January, even getting other coworkers’ beds wet. 2. Police Dog King Kong is hygienic and won’t take showers and scratched up the groomer and cost the police station 500RMB in damages. 3. Police Dog Flier beat up his coworker in a training exercise causing his coworker to miss work. 4. Police Dog Lightning acts depressed when act work and hyperactive after work and refuses to change his behaviour despite many talking tos.”]
“I was playing near the Shenzhen Red Tree Forest and two police came along with a German Shepherd. It was big, really impressive, with a standard police dog uniform.
And this tiny little Pomeranian came running out and started barking at the police dog. Like, super dramatic barking. The owner had it on a leash, and it was right on the end of the leash, pawing at the air with its front legs.
And the two cops and the police dog just stared at the Pomeranian, totally expressionless, and then just turned and walked away.
As the German Shepherd left, it turned around and gave the little dog a contemptuous look. That look was so priceless. You could tell exactly what that police dog was thinking.”
“I had a friend who kept a retired German Shepherd and a Husky. Both of his dogs like to watch TV, and whenever they do, the German Shepherd does it on its back, with its hind legs propped up on the Husky’s neck.”
“Oh, it’s not just the police dogs who know. All the other stray dogs know it too. No stray dog dares to bark in front of a police dog.”
“Of course they know. How else would they know to get their food bowls and get in line for food?”
“I think not only do they know, they actually think they’re people…Our department’s yard is joined with the SWAT team’s yard, and they have two huge police dogs, a Belgian Malinois and a German Shepherd. Both boys. They used to be kept free range, and they wandered the yard all day. And they recognise clothes. They don’t bark at anyone in military or police uniform. But those two bully women!!! There weren’t any women on the SWAT team, but there are women in the police department! Aside from their trainer and the leader of the SWAT team and really senior members, they don’t let anyone touch them and they ignore all men. But their biggest hobby is bullying girls. As soon as any girl goes into the yard, they’ll try to scare her, put their paws on her shoulders, rub their heads on her butt, etc. The more the girl screams, the more excited they get. Until they bullied a female trainer for another branch of cops in our yard…and that’s when they were fenced in to the SWAT area only.”
“I don’t know if he knows, but I know he’s been serving 8 years and I’ve only been serving 2. I have to call him Sergeant.”
“As someone who’s trained failed police dogs, lemme tell you, they know exactly what their job is.
Springer Spaniels can be bomb dogs, rescue dogs, or drug sniffers. They can’t be guards because Springer Spaniels are easily spooked and don’t like to fight. I adopted a Springer Spaniel trained to sniff bombs, who got eliminated because of size issues.
The very first day I brought him home, he knew exactly who his owner was. Never made a noise in my dorm, no barking, no whining. And if someone searches the dorm, at a single command, he’ll go hide under the table.
One day, a classmate of mine came to my dorm to return my pen to me, and he walked in without knocking holding his pen out towards us, and the dog immediately ran out to protect me and got into attack mode. I realised what was happening and told him, “Quiet.” And he wagged his tail and went back under his table.
Honestly, it was the best dog I’ve ever kept. Every time I go to a buffet, I’ll sneak some meat out to bring home to him.”
“They don’t just know…
One time, on Tian’anmen Square, I saw a police man with a police dog standing guard…
And this little kid was really excited to see the dog, and he probably hasn’t learned the word “police dog” yet…
So he pointed at the dog and started yelling, “Look! A guard dog! A guard dog!” [保安, security guard, same tier as mall cops in terms of social prestige.]
And that police dog went from looking awkward to looking increasingly depressed as he sat there…”
“My dad used to work in the army.
According to him, his troop used to have an army dog who had a great temper. Everyone loved him.
And the best part is, that army dog somehow knew who had the highest rank in any office.
And every night, the dog will sleep outside the door of whoever has the highest rank. If a Captain is there, he slept by the Captain’s door. If a Major is there, he’ll sleep in front of the Major’s door. If a Political Commissioner is there, he’ll sleep in front of the Political Commissioner’s door. If a Colonel is there, he’ll sleep outside the Colonel’s door.
Sometimes, the Colonel doesn’t come back until late at night and nobody even knows about it, and the next morning, wow, it’s already laying in front of the Colonel’s door. Nobody ever taught him how to recognise rank insignias (nobody has the time to), but it was smart. It hung out in the army, got its stipend, tricked people into feeding him, and didn’t have to do any of the exercises (because this wasn’t a dog unit), and everybody loved him. He was the social hub of the whole corps.
My dad remembered this for the longest time. He still remembers that dog even years after he’s been discharged and switched careers.”
“Police dogs don’t think they’re dogs. Police dogs think they’re people. Police dogs don’t know they’re police dogs. Police dogs think they’re policemen.
This is what my friend who’s in police academy told me. She says that for this reason, police dogs usually don’t live very well after retirement. Not because they’re not well taken care of, it’s because of their mental state. They get depressed.
Because they think they’re people, and people have dignity. Police dogs have dignity too. They feel unfulfilled if they don’t have any work. If they can’t work, they can’t show their value, and they’re just a useless piece of trash that only eats and sleeps. It’s very painful for them…
So don’t treat police dogs like dogs. Treat them like people. There was a news a while back, a police dog got kicked while trying to sniff bags, and started crying into a police man’s chest. Of course it would cry. It’s a person too. It’s a policeman who’s serving the people. Of course it’s upset that it got kicked when it was just trying to do its job. We’re all people here. I’m even a honoured police officer. How dare you kick me?
Of course, animals are animals. But we should respect hard-working police dogs like they’re people.”
“They know. One day, I was walking my dog, when a police man came along patrolling with a police dog. And my dog told me, “Look, two coppers.””
“They’re police, the kind that never wants to retire.
My former boss had a retired police dog who he fed with beef and milk every day, and it just acted depressed all day at home.
Eventually, my boss resigned that if the dog bit anyone, he would just pay for it, and started letting it guard the factory.
And it perked right up. Although its fur was turning all white, it was still super energetic.
Later on, I learned from a novel that just like hunting dogs, they want to die in the middle of a mission. They think just eating and sleeping every day makes them worthless. That’s so much more enlightened than I could ever be…”
“I saw this news story from overseas that after a police dog retired, it couldn’t get used to having nothing to do all day and got depressed. The owner consulted with a vet and started hiding various illegal items in different corners of his house for the police dog to fine. And it completely recovered and is super happy now.”
“In the train station, a little girl had a toy that she was trying to play with the police dog with. Slowly, the police dog started to take interest. It went from lying down to standing up and wagging its tail. Then it looked up at the policeman next to him, and slowly sat back down again.
I think in that moment, it knew it had a job to do.”
“I have a friend in the canine unit. His answer is:
Police dogs know that they’re on the same side as all the people in black uniforms.
They know they’re different from other dogs.
Police dogs have a little vest. They’re trained so that as soon as they put on the vest, they go into “work mode” and they can’t play. They know they’re working, and they know when they get off of work too.
As for whether a police dog can understand what a policeman is compared to other people and what exactly its owner is trying to do? Maybe a couple of shepherd dogs would interpret their owners as shepherds that guide people. Guard duty is just assisting in shepherding. Catching criminals is helping its owner to hunt. All the smaller dogs that sniff for bombs or drugs only understand that they’re working. Their brains are too small to comprehend much else.”
“Can someone invent some kind of dieting watch? Every time I eat too much, it can zap me or something.”
“That depends on how much money you want to spend. If you have enough money, I can follow you with a cattle prod.”
“And soon enough, you’ll start getting hungry every time you get zapped.”
“Before you manage to lose any weight, you’re gonna get zapped into a masochist.”
“I saw a girl saying if the government wants people to lose weight, they should pass a law that if I don’t successfully lose weight, they shoot me or something. And someone responded, “Are you so hungry that you even want a bullet in your mouth?””
“For a single zap, I can shove at least two mouthfuls of food in.”
“Before wearing it: I’ll stop eating once I get zapped. After wearing it: Even if it zaps me to death, I have to eat this food.”
“If it already zapped me, I’m losing out if I don’t actually eat.”
“Why can’t I eat as little as Japanese people? Why am I so hungry all the time?”
“Once you’re used to the zaps, you’ll save a lot of money on peppercorns.”
“We can call the brand of the watch “Pavlov”.”
“Can someone please kidnap me for a month, don’t feed me, force me to exercise, and also babysit my kid?”
A discussion about what it looks like when the economy is doing well:
“When the economy was doing well, even someone like my dad can manage to make money, get married, and have me.”
“Back in the day, college grads never tried to get government work. There was one guy in my class who was taking the civil servant exam, and he had to hide his books so no one would found out. Everyone thought it was super embarrassing.”
“”Working a 9 to 5” used to be an expression to describe a boring life.”
“I can’t take it anymore. 2000’s kid + 2019 Gaokao + Covid during college + can’t find work. I’ve got all the debuffs. Just shoot me.”
“Everyone gets two day weekends. They’ll give you a 200RMB cake gift card for your birthday (back in 2018 or 2019, a cake was only 200RMB). Buying a cake at a nice bakery usually gives you a stuffed animal. Gift packages for every holiday with the company logo on it. Company dinners regularly. You get two meals for free at the office. They subsidise half your rent. They’ll take out you to the movies and the company well pay for everything. I miss is so much.”
“Every company desperately needs workers because they have too many projects to handle. That’s what every design firm was like around 2010. I switched jobs a couple of times, and the interviewer only asks a couple of rote questions before asking when I can start working.”
“Every time you hit refresh on your resume, you get tons of new interview invites. Annual bonuses equal to three months’ wages, afternoon tea every week, overtime pay, generous year end lotteries. This was all back in 2019, not so long ago…”
“Even at a normal company, you go to the theatre for the company end of year party with a gown and walk on a red carpet. The lottery has phones and computers and fridges and 100K in cash. You can afford 1500RMB lipstick and 800RMB eyeshadow. You get extra toppings in your boba tea for 62RMB a cup, and the company gives out free Starbucks for afternoon tea. And back in the day, your choices weren’t just government work or tech company or alternatively takeout delivery and making boba tea. There were tons of small businesses you can go into, and even as a worker, you can be treasured.”
“Lemme show you the ultimate sign of a climbing economy, Louboutin lipstick (1500RMB per stick). My friend gifted it to me, because people spent money like that back in the day. I still have it because it’s super expensive. Anyone who’s been through those times knows it.”
“Four years ago, I graduated from an IT major at a mediocre university, and because I had the right major, I went through a very performative interview before I got into my company, and someone trained me hand in hand how to do the work. In my training period, I was already making 8K+, and I got a hotel room, two day weekends, birthday gifts, team-building gifts, even Valentine’s Day gifts, and I got off work at a normal time…After Covid, my company now requires at least a Master’s Degree from a top university…I gotta say, young people have it so hard…”
“I don’t believe any of this!!! (Freaking out)”
“It’s not as great as people are making it out to be, but at the time, my friends and I all believed that if you’re exhausted working and want to travel or get your driver’s license or just want a rest, you can just quit. Once you’re all rested up, done with your travels, got your license, etc, you can look for work again and you’ll find it. I had a coworker who took a month off every year to go road trip out to Tibet or Xinjiang, and he got to keep his job. That’s unimaginable today.”
“The economy goes through cycles but people will never be young again.”
“The end of year party lottery had a 100% win rate and the lucky prices are all 500RMB. And once the lottery is done, the big boss will add two special prices, where you could get anything you want out of the warehouse. And if there’s nothing you want, they’ll buy it for you. The Logistic Director approved of every application. We had to make it the best, the most generous. Now, they want to do everything with less money. There’s a smaller budget for events every year, and they somehow want it to be better than past years.”
“To put it simply, it was really easy to find work. Everyone wasn’t afraid to spend money. Expensive restaurants and bars will have two hours long lines on weekend evenings. Young girls dress up and bring out their luxury handbags. They don’t just have a free canvas bag and wear black t-shirts in summer and black down jackets in winter.”
“It’s true, my work used to give out laundry coupons for dry-cleaning your clothes. Now they just give out laundry soap.”
“Even four years ago, work wasn’t hard to find. How did things change this much? We get less and less pay and more and more work to do.”
“When the economy was going well, every resume I sent out got a response, and I could demand wages I was happy with. With two years of experience, they were offering me 25K. And I don’t have to train anyone. I just work as normal. And there were travel subsidies and rent subsidies and I could bring my pet to work, and they even show movies on the weekends that aren’t in theatres yet, and we got to meet celebrities. And we got to go to free concerts and we got gifts every holiday. If there’s overtime, there’s also free food. Although work was hard, the benefits were great too.”
“Aside from the basics of all the insurance and fund contributions, there was also afternoon tea, and people got raises every year. You got travel, and at least a month and a half’s worth of wages in your yearly bonus, plus holiday stipends. This went on for years, until after covid, they cut down on the benefits until there weren’t any left, and now we’re even getting paid less.”
“I hear that in the government, people used to get off of work at 3:30PM to knit or watch TV, and they don’t start working until 9AM. Is that true?”
“I started working in 2019, and that was the only good year I had. We went to a five-star hotel for our end of year party, and we had a lot of company dinners, including our team-building dinners. And I was at a super tiny company, only about 30 people. And I won a 1000RMB+ tablet at the lottery. I spent at least half a year in training. Now all of it is gone. After I quit, I’ve been looking for work like mad, and I went into an even smaller company that works me like a horse.”
“No lay offs, all companies whether big and small are working on new projects, huge demand on human resources. People might quit, but they never get laid off, unless they break the law or something. And you don’t have to worry about not being able to find work. Even a tiny little workshop with 20 people like my mom’s place still needs more workers.”
“Forget past times. When I graduated in 2019, I could go to a couple of random interviews and end up with 4-5 job offers in my hands. And when I go to interviews, I end up with a bunch of little gifts like stereos, key chains, pillows, etc. One company put me through 4 rounds of interviews and didn’t accept me, and when the HR lady heard I came over from a different school, she secretly gave me a little nightlight. Thinking back to when the economy was doing well, it’s feels like a dream.”
“Companies used to give out entire basketfuls of fruit every month. Now they’ve even removed the free soup in the cafeteria.”
“2015, 2016, our company end of year party reserved the best hotel in Shanghai, and everyone went in ballgowns. The owner was Taiwanese and hired A-Mei to perform for us. In 2019, our team-building exercise was to go on a 7 day trip in Japan, where the company paid for travel, lodging, food, and tickets to Universal Studios.”
“Our company used to give out iPads at its end of year party 10 years ago. Now they can’t even afford to pay out bonuses.”
“Back in the day, this one city invited us to attend a job fair and paid us travel expenses plus an additional 500RMB.”
“When I graduated, the worst job I could possibly get was to go to a county-level high school as a teacher.”
“I got my very first tablet when my family won it in their company New Years dinner. The iPad mini2 just came out.”
“I graduated in 2014 and was looking for work in Shenzhen, and actually found a company that paid for you to come to their interview. They paid me 50RMB to cover the taxi ride to and from there. And at the time, every time I updated my resume, I’d get at least 10 calls a day. I actually had to make an excel sheet to organise my interview times, and I would just ignore companies that were far away or too small.”
“You could quit your job in the morning and get a new job by the afternoon, no joke. I could randomly throw my resume out and at least a dozen companies would call me.”
“Honestly, my parents’ company used to take them to Japan and Europe. Now my company doesn’t even bother with team-building exercises.”