06/13/23 - Hold on, the phone case was 2.90. You still owe me a buck.
The guy who placed 2nd in Season 2 of China’s version of The Voice, Zhang Hengyuan, just passed away from skin cancer. Sina Entertainment News posted a video of one of his sings, The Brightest Star in the Sky.
An author writes, “There are two common emotions in life that’s very hard for other to empathise with.
One is giving birth. New mothers are often at the lowest point in their lives—the pain of their bodies, the exhaustion of their mind, sleep deprivation, and the chaos of taking care of a newborn. But very few people empathise with their suffering. At least, girls who haven’t had children yet and men will never understand. Even those who have had kids before, like their mothers and MILs, are very dismissive. “You’re so much better off than we used to be.”
What a great person you’d have to be not to flip out when you hear something like that.
This has nothing to do with older women being jealous of young women. It has nothing to do with how you can’t stand up again after kneeling for too long. Because just a few years later, when they become experienced mothers themselves, they find that they don’t care much about this either. Crying from even younger moms will no longer raise their sympathy. At most, they’ll say, “It’ll get better after a while.” Because that’s what worked for them.
Perhaps people with especially high EQ might say, “Wow, it’s so hard on you!” But in their hearts, they’re still thinking, “Isn’t it just giving birth to a baby? How hard can it be?”
Giving birth is a biological process. All female mammals have to go through it. When it comes to this, there’s not a whole lot of solutions, and words don’t mean much on their own.
The second is losing a loved one. It’s the most painful thing you can go through in life, and for most people, it’s almost unbearable. But at the same time, you’ll find that you can never get any effective comfort. Those who’ve never lost a loved one before will usually just wave you off with a, “My condolences”. You know they don’t really get it.
For people who have lost loved ones, usually, you’ll just get a long sign and a pat on the shoulder. Or a, “Take care of yourself.” Or “Take care of your other loved ones.”
You want to pour your heart out to somebody. You want to accuse the heavens of not being fair. But you find that there’s no response. You’ll lucky if there’s a friend who’s willing to drink all night with you. If you have a partner who’s willing to sit with you through the night, hold onto them tight, because they are the greatest treasure in your life.
Because death is also a biological process. All life has to die. There’s no solution, not at all. The people who’ve been through it don’t offer comfort because they know that comfort didn’t do anything for them. It won’t do anything for you.
I couldn’t understand it when I was younger. I spent many long nights by myself in loneliness. But at my current age, I understand.
When you combine these two things, it forms the complete cycle of birth, ageing, sickness, and death—the four most natural and most inevitable of things. They’re not a disaster. Disasters can be prevented or resolved. They’re not a choice. Choices can be avoided. They’re just a natural law.
A child is coming. You can’t stop him. Thanks to modern science, this has been alleviated a lot.
A child is leaving. You can’t keep him either.
If the child isn’t coming, whether you appeal to heaven or hell, nothing will change it.
What good is comfort?
The same with the other three—ageing, sickness, and death. You can make your appearance look younger. You can be an energetic person. But you are still ageing.
You can live healthily. You can exercise every day. But you can’t control your genetics or accidents in life.
And finally, death.
During the hardest moments in life, everyone is always alone.”
Comments say, “I think any extreme emotions, whether it’s grief or joy or anger, is all hard to empathise from an outsider, right? So long as they understand and can support you, that’s good enough. Complete empathetic resonance is super, super rare.”
“When it comes to this Sichuan University incident—you know, the one where the girl didn’t confirm the fact first before filming a video and accusing a guy of being a perv. Sure, she was totally in the wrong. But with how much attention it’s getting…
I honestly think it’s only getting so much attention because of men’s vengeance. Men finally found an incident where the girl was unambiguously in the wrong and they’re seizing it. They’re making it their flagship. They’ll using this opportunity to gain back their high ground, to flip all the cases that’s been made against them, to tell everyone that men holding their phones at weird angles on the subway might be totally innocent.
They’re making women drop their guard against men holding up their phones. They’re making women afraid to say anything when they suspect someone of taking lewd photos.
I honestly think there’s no need for any women to join in this witch hunt. Don’t increase the the fear of women and the price of fighting back.
Men should be the ones self-aware enough that when they’re walking behind a girl at night, and sense she is getting afraid, to hurry up and get in front of her. When they’re in the elevator and haven’t pressed a floor, and sense a girl is getting afraid, to go ahead and press the floor they’re going to. When they’re raising their phone on the subway, and sense a girl is getting afraid, to make sure their camera isn’t pointed at other people.
I hope if incidents like this happen again, people will look more closely at the one raising his phone and aiming his camera at other people, and not the person who’s suspecting photos are being taken of them.”
Comments say, “Why don’t you just get gender reassignment surgery? You’re a man, and you never say anything on men’s behalf.”
“A copypasta for every girl out there: you think you only care about right and wrong and you’re blind to gender. But you don’t know that when men are attacking women, they only care about gender, not right and wrong.”
“Just a couple of days ago, a stewardess friend showed me a video of a guy secretly taking photos of stewardesses and getting caught by the flight marshal. But this never got on the front pages and nobody cares. Stuff like this happens all the time. Don’t let down your guard, girls.”
A blogger reposts someone’s post, “My parents are pressuring me to get married by bringing guys into my bedroom. Just worked a night shift, and I was sleeping during the day when my dad barged into my room and woke me up. I opened my eyes to see a complete stranger standing beside my bed. I was terrified. I almost burst into tears then and there. I’m still super young—not even 20 yet. Why is this necessary?”
She shows her texts with her dad after the fact, where she writes, “If having kids was so great, you wouldn’t have to try to talk people into it. Your marriage is a complete disaster. You’re super scary now. You’re not like a dad at all.”
Dad: “See, you don’t get it. He’s willing to marry in to our family. He’ll take care of me when I get old. I’ve worked hard all my life. I don’t want to be alone when I’m old. That’s why I did it.”
OP: “What, only men can take care of people now? Men aren’t any better just because they’re men. When I’m older and financially independent, would I just abandon you? You’d rather have a stranger take care of you, than trust your own child?”
Dad: “You just don’t understand. This is just what you gotta go through in life. You have to get married and have kids. This is the basics of being a human.”
Comments ask, “If you’re not even 20 yet, why aren’t you in school?” And the blogger writes, “Based on her other posts, seems like she’s got bad grades, so she dropped out and got a job.”
“If your dad marries him, wouldn’t he still have someone to take care of him when he’s old?”
A tiktok video of before and after a style change for a girl.
Comments say, “I mean, if she chose this outfit and the accessories for herself, then it’s fine. The most important thing is that she likes it. Both styles are pretty unique, and as she grows up, she’ll pick the one that suits her better. It’s normal for girls to go through a lot of different styles during puberty.”
“She looked way better before.”
“Yeah, I like before better too. The green dress in the after plus the hair style makes her look totally middle-aged.”
“My boyfriend won’t walk next to me because I’m wearing lolita. I just kinda felt like dressing up today, and broke out one of my lolita dresses, but my boyfriend instantly got a kinda embarrassed look on his face. But he didn’t say anything until I put on my petticoat. Then, with a super strange look on his face, he was all like, “Don’t walk next to me.” I got really mad and upset, and I told him, “Fine, let’s leave separately then.”
And then he really left without me. The moment he left the door, I started getting really, really upset. Am I at fault here? I’m not demanding he has to love lolita, but I feel like the least he could do as a boyfriend is not show this much contempt for something I love. Am I really going asking too much?”
She shows her texts with her boyfriend, “Why won’t you walk with me just because I’m wearing lolita?”
BF: “I told you I don’t like it. You like it. And I don’t have any right to make you stop. But why do you have to make me uncomfortable?”
OP: “You won’t even walk next to your girlfriend just because you don’t like it? Is that what you’re telling me?”
BF: “If we leave separately, you can wear the clothes you want, and I get to be comfortable.”
OP: “Then if I wear lolita everyday, we’ll never walk together for the rest of our lives?”
BF: “My mom is sick right now. I don’t have time to deal with you.”
OP: “I just wanted to go out with you today. You’re really hurting me acting like I’m embarrassing.”
BF: “I’m don’t think you’re embarrassing. But I’ve said before I don’t like these clothes. I get embarrassed being seen with people who dress like that. It’s like 30 degrees outside.”
OP: “You make me feel like I’m gross or something. Thanks for destroying my confidence.”
BF: “I told you this has nothing to do with you. Some people like these clothes. Some people don’t. Why do you have to force me to accept it? Don’t talk about how I’m destroying your confidence. Confidence comes from within. Don’t PUA me. This has nothing to do with me.”
OP: “I’m PUA-ing you?”
BF: “If you like this outfit, you wear it. Maybe other people will like it. But I don’t.”
OP: “I’m not asking for you to like it. I just don’t want you to act like you hate it. I know you don’t like it.”
BF: “But I do hate it.”
OP: “Yeah, and I’m feeling that hate from you.”
BF: “Why am I not allowed to express myself? I’ve never liked this fashion since I was in middle school. Why can’t I express how I don’t like it. I have to accept something I hate just because you’re my girlfriend? Why?”
OP: “There’s nothing wrong with you not liking my clothes. But when you say you don’t even want to walk next to me, that makes me feel like you don’t like me either. I used to wear lolita when I ate out with you. And you said back then that you didn’t like this outfit, but so long as I like it, it’s fine. Because I look pretty in anything. Now, you’re telling me not to walk together with you. I’m really upset.”
BF: “You’re being ridiculous.”
OP: “Your mom’s sick. I guess I shouldn’t argue with you.”
BF: “It’s fucking ridiculous. It’s 30 degrees outside.”
OP: “I’m just super upset. I don’t want to talk anymore, sweetie.”
BF: “At least back then, it was autumn. K.”
OP: “Take care of your mom. Tell her to rest well and get better soon.”
She attaches photos of her outfit.
Comments say, “Honestly, I suggest you change a boyfriend. The problem isn’t with you, nor is it with him. But I feel like you’re not the same type of people, and this is just one incident among many. If you stay together, there are going to be lots of other things you’ll come into conflict over.”
“The man is right. If you like it, you can wear it. He’s not stopping you. You’re the one trying to force him to be okay with it. What you’re demanding is fundamentally a type of double standard.”
“I’m a girl, and I don’t like lolita or school uniform fashion either. I would never buy such clothes for my kids.”
Zhang Yuqi (actress) has apologised for “inappropriate statements” during a livestream, where she said that 699 RMB is not enough to buy a pair of socks. This has caused much controversy, and she clarifies that what she meant was that wool is very expensive. Some woollen socks go for more than 699 RMB. She’ll take care in the future to be more careful with what she said, to avoid misunderstandings.
A blogger points out that, “Four years ago, when she was making fun of diamond rings under 1 karat being completely worthless, everyone only felt admiration for her. Wow, she’s got such expensive tastes! Wow, what a true classy lady! Now, four years later, she’s still the same person, still proudly looking down on poor people. Why does she need to apologise now?
Oh, it’s because when she’s demeaning and attacking men, there’s no need to apologise, because they’re not her target demographic anyways. She’s maintaining her popularity precisely by engineering hate towards them.
But when she accidentally lets slip how she actually feels, how haughty and wealthy she is, and how contemptuous she is of the average person’s daily life, she’s actually hurt her target demographic. So of course she hurries with the apology.
Miss. Zhang is quite smart here. She’s very flexible.”
Comments say, “Diamonds are gifts for girls. Of course they’re better the more expensive they are.”
“It’s totally different values. Diamonds are a luxury product. Socks are a daily necessity. They’re different categories.”
“People have always had different standards for high-end luxury goods and daily necessities. If Moutai went up by 200 RMB, nobody would notice. But if every bottle of Qingdao beer cost 20 RMB more?”
“Because people have less money to spend than 4 years ago.”
A tiktok video of a doggo encountering a boy while on a walk. The blogger writes, “Dog lover takes a border collie to taste a young child’s fresh, tender flesh. Lately, in a community somewhere in Asia, a free range border collie sees a primary school student has particularly tender flesh, and dashes forward and takes a bite. The child who’s had a chunk taken out of him immediately doubles over in pain and freezes where he is, trying to reason with the dog lover. Of course, people who keep dogs are more loving than usual. And when the dog lover sees that the dog enjoys the tender flesh very much, she lets him up to take another bite out of the boy. In the end, the boy is too afraid to keep asking for recompense from the dog lover, and fled terrified. Dogs are truly the best friend of mankind. Using its wits and bravery, it successfully chased off the young boy and protected its owner from financial loss.”
Comments say, “But he didn’t bite at all. He just sniffed him and batted him with a paw. Honestly, I live in Vancouver. A lot of Chinese parents don’t teach their kids at all about what to do if they encounter a dog and they’re afraid. Or even what to do if they’re not afraid and want to safely pet the dog. So long as you don’t scream your head off, or pet the dog without asking the owner first, you’re fine. Otherwise, even if you get bit, you asked for it.”
“Did your owner let you out without a leash too? Look at what you’re saying.”
“Have you actually learned Chinese at all? What the fuck is this mess?”
A girl posts her text with her boyfriend just after they broke up, settling any money he spent for her while dating.
BF: “The lipstick I bought for you for Valentine’s Day was 29 RMB.”
“Phone case, 1.90 RMB.”
OP: “[Sends both amounts]”
BF: “The toothbrush you used at my house when you came over I bought on discount. I’ll count it as 4 RMB.”
OP: “Didn’t you tell me you got the lipstick as a lucky draw for free on some livestream? You still want money for it?”
BF: “Lol. I took you out to a barbecue too, a little over 60 RMB. I’ll wipe the difference and call it 30.
OP: “[Sends 30]”
BF: “Little box on your table was 8.90 originally, I’ll count it as 8. I lost a bowtie at your house, 4.9. Hairbrush 6.”
OP: “[Sends requested amounts] No wonder that hairbrush was so shitty to use.”
BF: “And I bought two packs of cigarettes for your dad, 20.”
OP: “You told me the cigarettes were a gift from someone else?”
BF: “Yeah, but they’re still worth 20 RMB tho. And I got you a shirt for 21.5. And I bought you boba tea the day before yesterday for 3 RMB.”
OP: “[Sends money]”
BF: “And your birthday in February, I bought you airpods pro2 for 1539 RMB. >.>’
OP: “Are you sure they were real? >: ( I saw them in your order history on a knockoff site for 89 RMB.”
BF: “Nah, you saw wrong.”
OP: “Fine, show me the actual receipt then.”
BF: “I lost that ages ago. Fine, fine, add in the flower I bought you for golden week, and it’s 100 total. Is that fine?”
OP: “[Sends 100 RMB].”
BF: “We’ve been together for a long time after all.”
OP: “What else is there?”
BF: “And I paid your phone bill, 20 RMB.”
OP: “[Sends money]”
BF: “When I’m not around anymore, you gotta take care of yourself. You have to fix your temper too. How are you gonna get by when you blow up over everything? And don’t keep spending other people’s money. It’ll be hard getting married that way. I’m doing this for your sake. Don’t ignore my advice.”
“Hold on, the phone case was 2.90. You still owe me a buck.”
Comments say, “Wow, he’s so manly, he should probably go date men instead.”
“I repeat myself, if you absolutely have to date someone, pick someone good looking at least.”
“Asking for the real price when he bought knock offs. Isn’t this literally fraud?”