06/11/23 - She’s more educated than us. If she makes a mistake, she should get a second chance.
“You can’t motivate your kids with the college entrance exam. I’ve finally witnessed the jealousy of 80’s, 90’s people as moms. In my kiddo’s class, there are a couple of kids who are little genius straight-A students. And the jealous moms of dumb kids have made up a nickname for them, “scanners”, because they scan problems every day (that is, to complete a lot of homework problems, or past years’ exams sheets). Fuck, isn’t that mean? It broke my heart. For kids born into poor families, what can they do except be scanners?
It’s not that I’m against practice, but you shouldn’t push kids from too young an age, especially if they’re in primary school. You can’t turn them into a machine that only practices tests. There are several little fat kids in my kiddo’s class who have been tortured into little robots, doing questions from morning to night. My education philosophy is taking things one step at a time.
Primary school is all about having fun, it’s about instilling in kids a love of life. Specifically, you have to spend money. My bitch wife is the best at this—arcades, Disney Land, vacations, Japanese food. Just take your kids out to fun places. Grades are fine so long as they’re solid Bs.
In middle school, you have to teach your kid how to go about studying, and slowly transition to a competitive environment. Kids are gonna be in puberty in middle school, they care about their pride. He’ll automatically start having higher demands of himself. You just need to teach him the right method of getting there. You don’t have to force anything.
For high school, it’s two stages. For the first and second year, focus on learning exactly what’s in the curriculum. Once you’re in your third year, start scanning questions like crazy.
As parents, we can’t ask too much of our kids. If they’ve actually got the talent to be management, then sure, aim for an Ivy League. If they’re just gonna be a wage slave, then sign them up for railroad majors, hydrological engineering, or construction majors.
I always believe that it’s important for a person to be happy with themselves. Of course, a lot of women are gonna jump up and argue, “How’s a railroad major gonna get married and buy a house?” Yeah, that is an important question. What I want to say is, look, parents, you got to enjoy yourself and produce a kid. Now you gotta pay for that kid. I’m not asking for much, just 3-5 million for a down payment. That’s the base line. This is your responsibility as a parent.
A lot of parents like to make little bets and hope for a big win. Sign up for the cheapest tutors they can find and dream about how their kid can make it into an Ivy and pay for their retirement. That’s ridiculous. I can pay you 4-5K a month, can you get into an Ivy?
TL;DR, let your kids have fun, work hard yourself. If you don’t wanna, then don’t have kids. Nobody cares.”
A reporter covers the follow up to the story a couple of days ago, of the girl who suspected a man of taking underskirt shots of her, discovered he was innocent, and still exposed him on the internet. “After discovering posts about his father online, Mister Deng took his father to the police station on the 11th of June to make a report. The girl in question travelled from Dongwan to Lujiang Police Station to negotiation with Mister Deng’s family.
“At the station, she kept crying. She cried for the whole afternoon. We felt bad just looking at her,” Mister Deng told the reporter. The girl explained that her school was going to expel her, and she was hoping to get Mister Deng and his father’s forgiveness.
“She’s a uni student. We’re just farmers. She’s more educated than us. If she makes a mistake, she should get a second chance. It wasn’t easy for her to get into university. We hope the school can not expel her,” Mister Deng says. He just wants the girl to openly apologise on the internet, he doesn’t want her expelled, and he doesn’t want any money. “A lot of lawyers have contacted us offering pro bono service, but I don’t really want to sue her. I told her that so long as she apologises, we’ll forgive her and give her another chance.”
Comments say, “See, the actual victims themselves are ready to let this go, and internet comments are still trying to get her put to death. Sigh, ruining over a decade of work because of one mistake.”
“She’s more educated than us—this line really made me feel bad.”
“Why didn’t she apologise before? What she didn’t learn from her parents and her school, she’ll learn from society.”
Someone posted their wedding photos on social media, and got scolded by her coworker. She shows screenshots of the texts, that read, “Girl, listen to some advice: don’t show off.”
OP: “K.”
Coworker: “Treasure your romance with him. Don’t post it to social media. Just keep how sweet you are with each other in your heart.”
OP: “Okay, I know.”
Coworker, “Have a big fat son later. Or a pretty princess, same either way.”
Comments ask, “Why would anyone even pay for all these pictures if they’re not gonna show them off?”
“Just block her on social media, god, what a busybody.”
“I love seeing other people’s wedding photos. It makes me happy to see someone else that happy.”
A tiktok video of someone bringing their big, fat baby to work, captioned with, “My coworker bringing her adorable baby over again. I’ve never seen her husband or heard anything of him, but just looking at the size of this baby, I am deeply impressed.”
Comments say, “What low-grade genes.”
“China doesn’t need other races.”
“I just can’t accept shit like this.”
A beauty blogger writes, “Growing up, I was always considered by other people to be from a “comfortable” family. But actually, my piano lessons were paid for by my mom and dad waking up at 4-5 AM every morning, to make bowls of mixed noodles for 3 RMB each. The six figures I spent attending the Art Exam in Guangzhou (a separate exam to the college entrance exam, for people getting into university based on a talent like painting or singing or dancing or piano) was borrowed from a half dozen family and friends that my mom begged individually. For every expense during my college years, I earn that money getting up at 6AM every day on the weekends to commute for an hour to teach students how to play the piano, and helping people edit their videos late into the night.
My mom said that when she married my dad, they each had savings of a couple grand. At the time, everyone suggested they buy a plot of land in a rural small town and build a house. But my mom refused. She said that kids need a good education. They can’t stay in a rural village. So she opened a small restaurant with my dad while she was pregnant, and used their savings on a motorcycle. My dad would drive this motorcycle every morning to the market to buy food, to deliver meals to customers, and to take me to and from school. My childhood was spent in the attic of that restaurant. There was just a slab of wood between my bedroom and my parents’ room. But even so, they bought a tiny electronic piano to support my dreams of learning to play. When I was eight, my mother absolutely insisted, and my dad went and sat in and listened to my tenth piano lesson. And they exchanged my electronic piano to a real piano, which has stayed with me to this day.
In pic number one, the background is the laundry machine that we have been using for ten years, and the only window in our house. In pic number two, that’s the small room separated by a wooden board. In pic 3, I’m wearing a swim suit my mom bought for me. She would make my dad go swimming with me every summer.
I’m very grateful to my family and myself. It’s because my parents are such hardworking and respectable people that I became such a person.”
Comments say, “It takes six figures to take the art exams for piano? Is that true? I was gonna have my kid learn piano, but now I’m realising I might not be able to afford it.”
“But your parents raised you with rich amounts of love. Even though the background is super old and tattered and not at all fancy, you are dressed up and beaming with a smile in every photo. You’re obviously a little girl who grew up loved.”
“Women who’ve had kids can’t decide their appearance or figure anymore. Why do I say this? I have a friend who worked at a wholesale clothing store in Guangzhou, who was super hot. She would design clothes herself, model them herself, and did great business.
After she got pregnant, she shot up in weight by 20 kg. At 42 weeks along, she still hadn’t went into labour, and had to get a c-section. After the baby was born, she had to raise the baby with her husband, and keep up with her business, so she never had time to control her out of shape figure.
Another friend used to be a makeup artist before marrying. After having a baby, she went totally out of shape too. Her MIL hates her, her husband is useless, she had to raise two babies on her own. And she not only opened a restaurant in her hometown, but learned yoga, went on a diet, got thin again, and even became a yoga teacher.
I’m not trying to compare these two people against each other. I’m just trying to tell people how hard it is for mothers. A lot of mothers sacrifice years of their youth to accompany their kid. In order to create better conditions for their child, they’ll continue to squeeze out little chunks of time, for studying, for advancing, for exercising, for recovering, to keep their brains spinning, or to increase their earnings.
Why are there so many scams and lessons targeted at mothers? We can tell that they’re just looking for fools, but why do people keep falling for it and paying the scammers? Isn’t this fundamentally because mothers have too weak of a position?
They’re detached from society, orbiting a kid all day, full of anxiety, with no income, and getting no respect for the amount of work she does. Of course they’re desperate to change their situation, and that’s why they fall for scams. It’s not even a matter of truly believing it. It’s just a matter of whether people around them notice and warn them.
I’ve got another friend living in Foshan, but working in Guangzhou. Her husband works in Zhuhai. Normally, her MIL takes care of the kid, but her kid actually hates grandma. He’s 3 years old now, and super introverted, and she’s worried about the kid’s education. She talked with her husband over whether she should quit her job to be a full-time mom, and what did her husband say to her?
He said, “Sure, you can be a full-time mom. So long as you’re okay with asking permission for every cent from me and hoping I give it to you.”
When I heard, chills ran down my spine.
If you see a mother who’s still thin and pretty, she might have someone helping with the kid, but she still have to pay an extraordinary amount of willpower, hardwork, and sweat to look like what she does.”
Comments ask, “What’s the point of keeping such a husband around?”
“36 weeks along, no income for ten months now, my whole pregnancy’s been filled with anxiety. Don’t yell at me for getting pregnant with no savings. I didn’t know my business would go under because of covid either. And now the kid’s already here. What can I do?”
Someone posts screenshots and videos from a mother’s instagram, saying, “Look at this kid, attacking people for no reason, and the mother insists he’s not supermale…Just fucking look.”
The mother’s instagram explains, “Born in ’92, a full-time mom, love to share my kids’ daily life. My oldest is born 12/24/2012, has autism, and is in recovery. It started getting worse around September last year, and I’ve taken him to see the doctor. He doesn’t like to go out so we’re always home. He’s not supermale, not supermale, not supermale!
My second kid was born 11/23/2020
Thanks for following!”
The video has the mother asking, “Do you like the barbecue I bought you? Is it tasty? Are you happy? If you take a shower, mommy will buy you barbecue. [Kid charges at her and she shuts the door] Oh my god, he’s coming at me again! [She captions, “I open the door again trying to offer my son some water, but it’s no use. He wants a person.”] “Here, have some water. No! Water! Water! Drink the water! [She slams the door shut again and locks it]”
She writes about her video, “Everyone is telling their story, let me tell mine. Where would I even start? From my first memories of experiencing my parent’s divorce? I remember just after they divorced, the people in my village finally managed to persuade my mom to come back. I was super little back then, and really worried about losing my mom, so I kept following my mom around. I never thought that I’d be nothing in her eyes. I knelt down and begged her not to go, and she kicked me into a ditch. Thankfully, there wasn’t much water inside, and I managed to crawl back up on my own.
I grew up later and, because I never had a complete family, I really urgently wanted a family, and wanted to be a good mommy. I never thought I’d be jumping into a deeper hole. I had an autistic kid. For those years, I only stayed away from divorce because he was so little. And because of my own parents, I swore to give my kid a complete family. No matter how much pain and suffering I went through, how much my in-laws put me down, how much all my friends urged me to get a divorce, I didn’t listen. Because I know that kids without parents get no love. Not to mention, he’s got autism. So in order to give my kid a complete family, I put up with everything.
But my husband still disappointed me. I was like a fool, falling for every lie of his. We separated for half a year. And for those 6 months, every day, I wept. I couldn’t deal with it. I went from thinking of my kids every moment of every day to slowly healing myself, starting to live for myself. I started wearing make up, started making my life better. And just as I was getting my life back on track, my kid’s dad texted me one day. I remember clearly, it was late at night. He said, “Give me another chance.” Now that I think back, it’s laughable. “Give me another chance.” Like he just make some little mistake.
But I’m a kiss-up. I abandoned everything, all my friends, because they didn’t like me getting back together with my husband. But for the sake of my kids, I still agreed to get back together. We still argue every day. I still don’t know what the point of getting back together was. I guess it was for the kids. I’ve really abandoned any sense of self for this kid. I guess because I never had a father or a mother growing up, I always feel like I can’t put my kid through the same thing.
Then, I got pregnant and had a little girl. The year I was pregnant, I insisted on still raising my son, no matter how hard or how tired I was. He’s very happy to have both of his parents around. When I had my daughter, I thought I wouldn’t love her. Because while I was pregnant, I said the only reason I’m giving birth to her is for the sake of my son, so that someone can take care of him. I always thought of it this way even before I got pregnant. But the more time goes on, the more I feel like my daughter shouldn’t have to put up with this burden.
Then, my son’s autism worsened. Plus, I’ve got such a bad relationship with my in-laws, and then I got pregnant again. I chose an abortion. I didn’t have anyone to take care of me afterwards, and still needed to take care of my daughter. After my month-sitting ended, I told my husband that I’d take care of my own kids. Even if I work myself to death, I’m raising them myself. I don’t want my MIL around anymore. I’m still just as tired, but I’m emotionally exhausted too.
So I started taking care of both kids on my own. But it’s really hard to keep up with two kids, and my son likes to hit people and pull hair. So I’ve put my daughter in daycare. That way, there’s people who play with her, and I don’t have to worry about my son beating her up.”
In the comment section to the video, someone says, “Sorry, I’ve watched too many horror movies. In the first shot, I thought he was going to stab you.”
Someone replies, “He was going to stab her, he just didn’t have a knife. He’s gone at her with a knife before, but didn’t manage to get her. That’s why she’s so practiced at shutting the door as soon as her son starts charging. It’s cause she was almost stabbed before XD. I gotta say though, with this kind of extreme violent tendencies, the first people he’ll murder is his mom and sister. He’s definitely gonna kill someone. Probably his poor sister. She can’t run away or fight back.”
Comments say, “I just pity the little sister and future classmates of this little animal.”
“I’m confused, is autism really like this? Doesn’t he just need a beating?”
“Parents got divorced, people in her village persuaded her mom to come back…so her mom managed to escape from this hell, and she jumped in head-first?”
A tiktok video of a groom singing on his wedding. The blogger jokes, “The bride: “Is it too late to regret this marriage?””
Comments say, “But he’s so into his own singing!”
“Once he sees it played back to him, he’ll want to die.”
“He’s perfectly dodged the actual tune at every note. I have no idea what song this is even meant to be.”
“The Forbidden City: Cat Imperial Study [a Chinese cartoon show about cat people in the Forbidden City] is being attacked by masses of Koreans on the internet, for “plagiarising Korean fashion”. Koreans really live up to their stereotypes. Do they really not remember what actual Korean fashion looks like? Or are they just pretending for the sake of cultural thievery? They’re really addicted to stealing Chinese culture. They not only try to take everything for themselves, they try to turn it back around to us. Even anything vaguely similar gets armies of commenters. What should we do about people like this?”
The blogger shows compilations of comments by Koreans. “They’re wearing Korean clothes, but speaking Chinese. Is this a video animated in Korea but dubbed in China?”
“These kids are wearing Korean clothes again.”
“Stealing history is like changing history.”
“Well, either way, Korean culture started here.”
“China has no confidence in its own culture. Oh wait, China has no culture, cause they burned it all down. No matter what, I just want you to know, if you steal other people’s culture, anything could happen.”
“It seems that this is a Chinese animation but…they must have been impressed by Korean dramas.”
“Go die.”
“?? Is this set in China? All the clothing and palaces look exactly like Korean locations, so I thought this was a show about Korea. It’s so crazy.”
“Is it fun to make a living by appropriating other people’s culture?”
“Don’t Emperors wear gold clothing in China? Why are they wearing the standard red colours of the gonryongpo?”
The blogger then provides screenshots of an interview with a Korean history expert, who says, “All of our traditional clothing came from China. That’s why Korean Kings cannot wear the same Imperial robes as the Chinese Emperor. We wear the same clothing as Chinese Lords, because we don’t have an Emperor. We only have a King.”
As well as pictures of what traditional Korean clothing looks like:
Comments say, “They’ve already made the costume designer for the show apologise. Koreans don’t know what shame is at all.”
“It’s not the first time they’ve done this. You can’t talk reason to them. You have to go beat the shit out of them, and then they’ll learn how to behave. Our ancestors have taught this to us many times.”
“Ask them where the name Choson even comes from.”
Typo: "attached" should be "attacked"
The bride was cringing so hard by the end but she was trying to look supportive