A compilation of replies to a post that reads, “My mom finally asked me today why my husband always leaves a bit of food in the dishes. I told her that he’s saving it for me, in case I get hungry later. This is the little moment of happiness in my life~”
Comments say, “How wonderful. You don’t have to keep a dog in the house.”
“You’re destined for marriage @_@“
“Yeah, can’t say shit about this. God’s gifting you with dishes to wash.”
“What amazing dullness. She can’t tell at all that he just doesn’t want to wash dishes.”
“He’s only leaving you sides. Only green onions are left in pork fried green onions. Only chives are left in chives fried eggs. Holy shit.”
“I used to do this when I was a little kid too, leaving a bit of food left when I don’t want to wash dishes.”
“Can’t say shit about this. She just likes getting screwed.”
“A teacher talked to me a while back about helping with a relative’s kids who’s addicted to the internet and won’t go to school.
She took the kid into her home for a day, and he did just fine. She thought he was all better so she sent him back.
But as soon as he made it back home, he got immediately addicted again and refused to eat if he wasn’t given an iPad to begin with. So the parents called for help again, and the teacher went and put his iPad away and took him to her house. And the kid shut himself in his room, not eating or drinking or ever coming out, and really freaked his family out.
After talking with me, the teacher gave him his iPad back.
The way the teacher dealt with this problem is just an extension of how the family have been dealing with it. It this strategy worked, this kid wouldn’t have started falling behind in high school despite always getting great grades in middle school.
The problem right now is probably accumulated from years of inappropriate parenting, and these previous mistakes need to be fixed in baby steps. Maybe the whole process will take months, or a year, or three years. But it’s definitely not the sort of thing you can fix by just giving him a stern lecture and beating him up.
A lot of parents don’t realise their problem, and they’re in too much of a hurry to fix problems, so they invite an authority figure in to intimidate their kid and only make the problem worse. Whenever a kid is refusing to go to school in a rebellious fit, inviting the teacher over rarely ever works, so I never do such things.
I think the most important thing to do is to slowly change the parent with me, because that’s the ultimate solution. It’s the only way that works.
The last graduating class I led had a kid who lived in the dorms and refused to go to class. His mom was having a total melt down. This kid used to come in first in the county when he was in middle school. She’d never had to worry about his studies. But once he got into a better high school, his mindset got shaken up, and he started refusing to go to school when he was 4-5 months away from the college entrance exams. His mom cried every day over it.
All kinds of teachers went to visit him, and he always just avoided them. Same with his relatives, he wouldn’t see anyone. But he was still willing to comfort his single mom, so his emotional link with his mom was still intact.
His mom would come chat with me every so often, and I would teacher her what to do. The core strategy is basically “wait and chill”. Be mentally prepared that he might not go to his college entrance exams. Do your best to limit phone usage. Don’t force him to do anything. If he has needs, then fulfil them. (He wanted to go see a psychiatrist, and she took him, and he was prescribed some meds.)
And after a lengthy period of waiting and companionship (3-4 months), the kid said he’ll go to his exams after all. They invited an educated older relative to accompany him through his exams, and it all went well. He ended up in an in-state university. After he got in, his mom told me that he’s doing great in uni.
Slowing down will get you there faster. Don’t be in too much of a rush!”
Comments say, “So he went and saw a psychiatrist, and he got completely cured by the time he was in uni?”
“Why do kids get depressed so easily these days? Is it because their parents don’t love them enough?”
A compilation of stories about Fujian people:
“My uncle went to Britain in 1992. He used to be a roofer, and after a year, he became the London Cooking Competition champion, and owns several restaurants now, lol.”
“I met a Malaysian playing games yesterday, and he told me to guess where he was from originally. I guess Fujian, and he was like, “Wow, how did you know!?” And I was like, “Oh, it’s because Fukienese people can go wherever they want to.””
“Last time, our boat flipped over and I had to swim for 20 hours straight.”
“They leave the country like we go to another state, to find work.”
“I’m from Fujian. If I hadn’t married off to Zhejiang, my mom prepared for me two options. I can either go to America to find my uncle, and marry a local American and inherit his Chinese food restaurant. Or I could go to Italy and find my aunt, and marry a local Italian and inherit her clothing business. And I ended up marrying some guy who has no idea how to do business at all, much to my mom’s disappointment.”
“My grandpa left and never went back, so none of us can ever go back. I’m third generation in Malaysia now.”
“Do Fukienese people really have global visas and can leave whenever they want to?”
“Fujian has 40 million population. There are 20 million Fukienese people overseas.”
“My cousin is in Argentina, my other cousin is in Australia, my other other cousin is in Spain. My uncle on my dad’s side is in New Zealand, my uncle on my mom’s side is in Japan, my dad’s in England, and I’m in America.”
“Whereas we Henan people are destined to work minimum wage in first line cities when we’re born.”
“As a member of a family who’s been farmers for generations, with no one who’s ever went overseas, I’m really curious how other people get to make money overseas. How do they work overseas for decades and come back not knowing a line of English. I feel like they’re carrying visas in their blood, going wherever they want to.”
“All the Fukienese people I know are rich. Whenever I ask what their family does, I get the exact same story. They grew up poor, so their dad was forced to start a business, blah blah blah, and then all of a sudden, it’s, “And then he made his first million.” They always skip over the process, even though that’s the part I want to hear the most!””
“Forget Fukienese people in China. I’m a fourth-generation Fukienese in Malaysia. My uncles and aunts are in England, Australia, and Singapore respectively.”
“This history might go back to when Zheng He first came back from his expeditions and the Ming Dynasty started exiling their criminals.”
“Before Covid, I went vacationing in some tiny country in Africa, and found a Fukienese guy who’d opened a flour factory there to make noodles. He’s even got a store that he’s hired black people to staff. It’s amazing.”
“Do they not need to learn languages first before they go overseas? Do they really just get up and decided to go to a country with a completely different culture and language and customs? That adaptability is amazing!!!”
“My ancestors were from Fujian too, but they took the whole family to Guangdong and settled down, and now I’m from Guangdong.”
“Classrooms are installing AC, and each student needs to pay 65 RMB, and you can’t take it with you when you graduate. If parents agree to this, please repost! If a classroom is installing AC, and each student only needs to pay 65 RMB, assuming 50 students per class, that’s only a little over 3000 RMB. That’s not enough to afford a 2780W AC. Not to mention, the school’s paying for all the electricity. If your kid is in first grade, then you can enjoy 6 years of coolness for just 65 RMB. Theoretically, this is a great deal, and yet 80% of parents objected tot he proposal, and even posted this group chat notification tot he internet. What’s wrong with parents these days? They’re all waiting for free lunches? Don’t you need to invest in your kids when they’re in school? Sure, the government’s paying for all the tuition and the teachers’ salaries, but now you think the school should pay for AC too, that you shouldn’t have to pay any money?”
Comments say, “But all the kids in the future don’t need to pay? Why?”
“Isn’t it better for the school to have AC for recruitment purposes? I don’t get why parents need to pay for this. The school can pony up 3000 RMB and it’ll be theirs forever. Isn’t that better?”
“Why not get fans instead? Why AC? People have different constitutions. Some people get sick with AC, and everyone prefers different temperatures.”
“The poorer they grew up, the richer they get in life, the more likely they are to cheat. This is called “flowering potatoes” in colloquial slang, describing people who had nothing growing up, and so never learned any self-control. None of their desires have ever been fulfilled, so they always feel like they’re owed more, and they get greedier and greedier.
Supposedly, a lot of male workers in Huawei come from poor, rural backgrounds, who got into good universities because they have good brains, like Huanan Technology or something. They’ll throw their life into making money, and then put all of it towards being a manwhore. Or cheat nonstop once they’re married, not caring about morality at all. The whole workplace is like this. All of their money goes towards eating and sleeping, whether it’s with their secretary or their interns.
It’s a workplace culture that comes from the top down. Nobody’s ashamed of it. Huawei’s employees seem to think it’s a sign of personal charisma to sleep with lots of people. A lot of big IT companies have this sort of shameless slut culture.
If overseas powers attempted some honeypots, all of Huawei’s core technologies would be in danger. This isn’t a matter of personal morality anymore.
As soon as code monkeys come into money, their life goal becomes cheating and whoring around. It’s so trashy it’s sad.”
Comments say, “I used to hang out near Huawei’s headquarters during covid, and there’s always a ton of flyers and cards on the ground from prostitutes soliciting business. The pictures on them were super explicit too, all kinds of nudity…I also wondered at the time whether it could be a spy tactic…”
“Loyalty to your spouse is human behaviour, and Huawei wants their employees to be a wolf pack. It all makes sense. They’re committing to their corporate culture.”
“This isn’t a matter of law, but of morality. Aside from religion, I don’t see a solution to this.”
Fukien people really do run business empires here in Southeast Asia lol