An engineer in Hunan vacationing in Japan writes, “I saw a Hermes store and told my boyfriend to wait a little bit, I want to go in and ask if they have stock. My boyfriend asked how long a little bit was, and I told him five minutes.
After I went in, the counter lady was a Japanese girl. I asked her, “You got any bags left?” She asked me to wait a bit, they had a freshly arrived bag. When she brought it out, I immediately decided on it, an 18 inch iceberg blue bag with gold buckle. It as perfect.
There was no sales tactic, from entering the store to paying was just five minutes. When my boyfriend saw me leave with a big bag, he was shocked and amazed. It was so fast.
The old guy who entered the store with me saw my handbag and asked the counter lady if they had any bags available. And the counter lady said, “Sorry, we just sold out of our newly arrived bags.” He didn’t give up and asked, “Even men’s bags?” And the counter lady shook her head. Even the men’s bags were gone.”
Comments say, “You’re so lucky! Normally, you need to buy a bunch of stuff to qualify for this colour!”
A lady has gotten a hysterectomy because she’s sick and tired of period cramps and anaemia. She posted a social media update the first day out of the hospital saying that she’s feeling great and ready for her new life. In the comments, people are envious, “Oh my god, I can’t believe I’ve been completely sold on hysterectomies!”
“You can not have periods if you cut out the uterus!?”
“Yup, you can even avoid a lot of gynaecological issues too!”
“Wouldn’t you age faster if you cut out your uterus?”
“Being unhappy ages you too. Being happy is the best for staying young.”
A childcare blogger writes, “I decided to not breastfeed. A lot of women tried to persuade me that breastfeeding is so much easier and hassle-free than formula. But as someone who watched them breastfeed before, I didn’t see anything about how easy it was. With formula, I could go out and shop in my first month, I can go watch a movie, I can sleep until I naturally wake up, I can take a long nap during the day, I can keep writing for my job. I don’t know whether breastfeeding is really easy and hassle free or not, but I had a great first month by not breastfeeding. Thank you, daddy. Thank you, grandma.
My sister told me that if I insist on formula, it’ll be really annoying to wake up in the middle of the night to rock the baby with one arm and make formula with the other. And I was like, “Dude, if it’s formula, why am I the one who has to rock the baby and make formula at the same time? Is daddy dead?”
Now I don’t even want to argue about breastfeeding with people around me, because everyone has different values and ideals. You’re not going to change anyone’s mind, and they’re not going to change your mind.
When my husband’s relatives ask him why I don’t breastfeed, he just tells them that I don’t produce any milk. If he said I chose to, then they’ll surely go on and on about all the benefits of breastfeeding to try to persuade me, and that’s just going to make me feel suffocated.
I think that it should be up to people’s own choices whether they breast feed and whether they get a c-section or go with vaginal delivery. They should get to choose whatever they’re comfortable with. Don’t try to talk other people into agreeing with you. You’re not accomplishing anything other than annoying them.
Comments say, “You’re lucky enough to have people who can take the kid with you to give you a break, and enough money to afford formula, so of course it’s easier. If you don’t have older relatives to help our or you were poorer, you’d see how easy breastfeeding is.”
OP replies underneath, “If I didn’t have anyone to help out and couldn’t afford formula, I wouldn’t have kids.”
An author writes, “Today, I saw a custody battle that a fan of mine linked me to. After divorce, the mother wanted custody of both daughters, but the judge ended up giving one of them to the father. The mother was devastated, of course. And she really had a ton of proof that both being with her was what the kids wanted and would be the best outcome for them. But I can understand the court’s decision.
In my own work, I’ve come into contact with a lot of divorced couples who have faced custody issues. Sure, there are cases where both parents want the kids. But in most case, it’s both parents not wanting the kids. Everyone complains that even when men get custody, they just toss the kids to their parents, but plenty of single mothers do the exact same thing. Sure, there are plenty of mothers in agony because dad got custody. But I’ve seen plenty more cases of single mothers with children barely making it by in society.
Especially in this case, the kids are still small, they don’t take a lot of money to raise, both sides can shoulder the burden. The older the kid is, the more money they require. After high school, you’re not in mandatory education anymore. Whether they get tutoring, go to university, go overseas, or get married, that is a huge amount of money.
And parents have to think about their own futures. The father will remarry. The mother is going to want to date again and marry too. But China has very few social safety nets, and children are too expensive. So whoever gets the kids is bound to be doomed. They’ll never find happiness again.
So, a lot of times, my advice is to stop being obsessed about whether the kids belong to you right now. No one can cut off the fundamental connection between mother and child. I’ve seen the letters that mothers who lost their children have written, I can see their tears between every line of text. It makes me tear up too. But I’m a long-time reader. I know the epilogue—when the kids graduate high school or college, when they’re independent, they’re going to find their mother again, and soon they’ll be close to her again. It’s always the case.
Behind custody, there are much deeper economic and psychological concerns. It’s not necessary what they show to the world. For a lot of men, they’re fighting for custody just to threaten the mother. For a lot of women, they’re fighting for custody just to punish the man. My only thought is to look to the future. The you ten years later is not going to be the same person as the you now. What is most important to you now, may not be so important to you in ten years. A lot of things that never even occurred to you right now could be your primary obstacle in ten years time. But after ten years, your children will still be your children, whether they’re by your side or not.”
Comments agree, “When you get a divorce, you need to clean the trash out of your life and get rid of any unrealistic thoughts, and put all your energy into investing in yourself. This is the most crucial step to putting your last relationship or marriage behind you. If you don’t live better, if you don’t grow, if you don’t become a whole new person, then the next guy you fall for won’t be any better than the last.”
News covers the story of a Chinese couple who died in a hotel in Bali, India. Reporters know from many of the girl’s friends that the victims had a great relationship. The family members of the victims are going to Bali right now. The news puts out a poll asking whether more information should be revealed about the victims’ identity. Most people agree with, “Yes, we should know more facts of the case to oversee police and ensure justice.”
A health blogger writes, “I saw the discussion on whether you should beat your children to educate them, and it reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend yesterday. Before the age of seven, I never beat my daughter. I always just lectured her. Right, before seven years old. After seven, I beat her sometimes. Of course I’d regret it afterwards. But there’s nothing I can do about it. She’s a high-demand child, and I’m full-time taking care of her, and still having trouble keeping up with her needs. Especially since 8-year-old kids are in a rebellious stage, unless you’re some kind of a saint as a parent, it’s impossible to never beat them. I just don’t have enough patience.
Yesterday, my friend told me that one time, she was on the plane with her child who was the same age as my daughter. Don’t know what was wrong with the kid, but they were kicking the seat in front of them nonstop. My friend told them to stop several times to no effect, and although the person in front didn’t say anything, what can you do as a parent? You’ve got to beat them. My friend is a super ladylike person normally, and she’s got a well-behaved child, but she still found herself in that situation.
Of course, it’s not like I kick the shit out of my child with no holding back. But I really can’t accept some of the shit that she does. Talking her down might take over half an hour, and she’ll procrastinate on her homework until 11:30 at night. It’s either that, or I use the power of brute force to settle the issue in five minutes, so she can sit down and work. Sometimes, it’s really hard to choose one or the other.
Comments say, “You can’t get through to them in half an hour of talking. At this age, kids know what’s up. Without immediate consequences, they’re going to keep procrastinating. Talking at this point is just white noise to them, something they can easily ignore. But if she doesn’t do her homework, you can let her go face the teacher. Let her learn from natural consequences. Basically, stop worrying about it yourself.”
A relationship blogger writes, “Of course women have a right to ask that their name gets put on the marital house. And men have a right to accept or refuse.
But at least as far as the current situation goes, if the man’s parents paid for the house fully before marriage, then bringing up adding your name to it isn’t going to accomplish anything except making your in-laws super wary of you. It doesn’t actually bring you any benefits. If the house has a mortgage on it, then bringing up adding your name doesn’t matter anyways—you can’t add names to a house that isn’t paid off fully.
You could try laundering the house after marriage. That is, sell the marital house and buy a new one. That way, it’s marital property. But so long as the man’s parents have proof in their hands of the purchase of the first one, then they can still sue you for repayment of that money.
If you’re getting married in Shanghai, though, you could buy two houses. So you should perhaps save up money and just buy a second house after marriage, even if it’s smaller, and write the woman’s name on it. That way, she can feel safe with a piece of definitive marital property.”
Comments say, “Only women could possibly be shameless enough to demand that their name gets added to a house that the man’s parents paid for in full. Men never demand their names get added to houses that women paid for in full.”
A kindergarten teacher has gone viral over a nursery rhyme.
She held a livestream in response to her newfound fame and cried during it. An entertainment blogger analyses this, saying, “Well, a part of the reasons is certainly that she’s happy about suddenly becoming internet famous. But another part is definitely that there are all kinds of comments, people saying that she’s actually not nearly as gentle as she pretends and she’s actually very mean. Or that she was demanding gifts during her livestream. That it was a deliberately setup photo. That the other teacher who covered this nursery rhyme is actually cuter.
Her one livestream has gotten over 100K in gifts, don’t know if she’s going to start advertising for sponsors. But if she does one day, don’t feel too surprised. Everyone is the same when it comes to making a livelihood.”
Comments say, “We live in an era of likes and subscribes and internet influencers, don’t invest too much. There’s marketing companies behind everything you see.”
“I just experience another typical East-Asian Parent Lecture again, and after all this time, it still made me cry.
I was in the bathroom when the baby started crying for me. He sounded really urgent, so I hurried flushed the toilet and ran out to see what was wrong. I didn’t scrub the bowl of the toilet. After I took care of him, I kept going about my business and completely forgot I hadn’t scrubbed the toilet.
Then my mom saw and she began nagging me, saying that I’ve got humid qi in my body, a bad spleen, I stay up too late at night, etc, etc. When my dad heard I hadn’t scrubbed the toilet, he started lecturing me all like, “How many times have I told you? When you’re a guest at someone’s house, you’ve got to clean the toilet.”
I told him that, “I always clean the toilet at other people’s houses. I just got busy with the baby and forgot.”
And my dad started getting super mad, yelling that, “Don’t look for excuses! If you left it dirty, you left it dirty! I’ve told you time and time again, your dad is always right! Even if you’d never done it before, you’ve done it now! Blah blah blah” It’s that tone of voice he always gets whenever he feels vindicated because he’s caught me in a mistake. When he can justify his beliefs that just because he’s my dad, he’s right about everything, and I have to obey unconditionally.
Maybe I’m just too emotionally well-adjusted, that I can always just cope with it. I’ve been driven to the edge before. If I couldn’t vent, I’d hurt myself. And one day, I just thought through things and ran far, far away and built up emotional barriers for myself.
For example, this time I’m coping with it by thinking that if I have to get lectured by two people when I poop at home, I’ll just go downstairs and poop in the public bathroom then.”
Comments say, “I almost thought this was my blog from a couple of days ago, cause I’d just had a fight with my mom over the exact same issue. Whether you’re in the right or wrong, they’re going to just slam you with filial impiety, though. You can’t win. Being around them at all drains all of my energy. I’m exhausted.”
What is the nursery rhyme saying (if you don't mind translating)?
Weirdly enough, reading this blog has made me feel more grateful towards my parents, who grew out of doing East Asian Parent Lectures some time while I was in high school.