04/15/23 - It's illegal now for Chinese people to put on Chinese clothing to take a photo on Chinese soil.
A submission to the relationship blogger, “This is the cake my boyfriend left for me. I got off of work a little after midnight. On my way home, I get a call from him asking if I was hungry. I said yeah, a little, and he said he’d saved some cake for me. When I got back to the room, this is what I saw.
He claimed that he knew I liked fruit, so he saved all the fruit pieces in the middle for me.”
Comments say, “Holy shit, literally all the sponge cake parts are gone. I have no appetite at all. That cake’s been ruined!”
Someone did a cosplay of Chang’e in a cherry blossom forest and got reported to the police because “cherry blossoms are a Japanese flower”. She makes a weibo post complaining, “What, so it’s illegal now for a Chinese person to put on Chinese traditional clothing to take a photo on Chinese soil?”
Comments ask, “What the fuck. Why doesn’t she call the cops on the government for planting those sakura trees??”
A compilation of internet posters talking about how kids’ height is rising with economic development, because of better childhood nutrition, and kiddos born after 2010 are now 185cm-190cm.
“My nephew is 15, and 1.9m tall. If he keeps his mouth shut, he looks like the CEO of some company. But as soon as he opens his mouth, it’s, ‘Hey, auntie, can you buy me some ramen noodles?’”
“My kiddo’s 13 and 186cm. When I go to pick him up at school, he still throws himself at me all like, ‘Mommy, I want some popcorn!’”
“180+cm guy walks into my nurse station, super handsome. I win in a scuffle with other nurses for the right to go give him his shots, and right away, he’s howling with a voice like a duck all ‘Mommy! Mommy! It hurts!’ and his mother is next to him all like, ‘It’s okay baby, you’re so brave!’ I check his date of birth, and holy shit, he’s only 11.”
“Took my 15 year old, 185cm kid to the department store and people thought we were there to buy a car. But actually, he’s just sticking to me like a little bug, all, ‘I want McDonalds! I want a big coke! I want fries!’”
“My kid’s thirteen, 180cm. We went to the night market together, and while I went to order some barbecue, leaving him at a table, two girls came up to ask for his wechat. He turned right around to yell at me, ‘Moooom, there are strangers talking to me!’”
“Who can understand this feel. I went with my three year old daughter to the sandpit at the local park. And a super hot 180cm dude comes running by and quickly digs a gigantic hole in the sand pit. Then he lies down in it and asks me what time it is. I ask, and he’s only in sixth grade.”
A tiktok video showing the Dai ethnic minority water splashing festival (Songkran) has gotten a lot of attention, as a girl is surrounded by a dozen men all firing at her with water pistols as she yells for them to stop.
Comments say, “How is this any different from harassing a girl in the middle of the street? If you complain, they’ll all say you just can’t take a joke.”
“This is just a bunch of men using the excuse of Songkran to do what they don’t usually have the balls to do and bully a girl. It’s disgusting.”
“As a Dai, I can assure you that it’s considered very rude to throw water in people’s face, or aim for the eyes with a water gun.”
“This is disgusting. I can tell you for a fact that some of those water guns really hurt, and some men will go out of their way to aim for the chest and ass. I never want to come to Songkran anymore.”
“The rule is you never splash someone who’s riding a bicycle, or who’s old, or who’s pregnant.”
“I’m freaking out and hiding in an abandoned building now. I was just surrounded by a bunch of dudes with big buckets, saying if I don’t give them my wechat, they’ll drench me.”
“I’ve had a water balloon thrown at my head so hard that it cracked my motorcycle helmet. They spiked that shit like I killed their whole family.”
“Men make any festival gross.”
Sina NBA reports on the Celtics victory against the Hawks.
Underneath this is someone reposting Stephen Curry’s photo with his wife.
The comments say, “Jesus, look what she’s wearing!”
Blogger posts a photo showing a menstrual pad box where if you have spare pads, you can put one in, and if you’re stuck without a pad, you can take one to use, with a sticky note attached written by a man, saying, “Hey, could we start keeping toilet paper in these too? Last time I had to go without wiping. Guys need help too!”
Comments ask, “Why do men have to take advantage of everything.”
A film critic posts, “Introducing you to the most beautiful woman on Earth, Italian celebrity Monica Bellucci at 12 years old. Supposedly, she was so beautiful that she would have crowds gathered to admire her wherever she went. Restaurants would let her eat there for free. Art teachers at her school chased her down to ask to draw her. She was so beautiful, she didn’t have any friends. She was so beautiful, it made her insecure and sad. By the time she acted in Malèna, her beauty was already 1/3rds gone, but she still stood out like the moon among stars. Do you want the same kind of insecurity?”
Comments say, “Her daughter inherited her beauty though!”
A tiktok video of a man showing off various belongings of his wife that amazes or confuses him, thanking her for introducing him to so many things that he’ll probably never use in his life. The first object is a stainless steel rag for cleaning tables with. Next is a cow-shaped decoration on his wife’s phone case whose eyes light up and who will moo. Then a ice-cream bar decoration on his wife’s phone case, that opens up to reveal a comb and a small mirror. Then, felt-edamame that’s put inside jars to wash them. Then, a toy washing machine that brews coffee. Then, a golden Buddhist statue of an Ultraman. Then, a egg white separator shaped like a mug with a man’s face on it, where the egg whites come out of the nostrils like snot. Next, a plastic fan you can use to hold poker cards if your hand is too small to manage them on your own. Next, a bottle opener shaped like a giant zipper with a magnet so you can put it on the fridge. Next, a pair of glasses that are actually two bottle openers. Next, a stainless steel tablet on a stick, for removing bad breath (100 RMB each). Next, a plastic pad you can put into the toilet bowl to prevent water splashing onto your butt when you poop. Next, slippers with balls corresponding to acupuncture points on the foot. Next, a lanyard with two buckles, to hold up your bib while eating. Next, a small plastic cap you can put on the end of your bananas to prevent oxidisation. Next, corn holders. And finally, a solid wood lemon juicer.
Comments say, “Oh no, now I want these things.”
A meme compilation of creative inventions:
A homemade alarm system.
A multidirectional fan.
A fork iPad stand.
A large shower head.
A wrench hammer.
An anti-theft device for cars.
A contact-free, foot-operated soap dispenser.
An earthquake detection kit.
A sofa mover.
A water-pouring assist.
A water efficient toilet.
A proximity alarm for parking.
A water-heater
A wrench door lock.
A submission to a lesbian relationship blogger, “My girlfriend likes to do a lot of stuff that’s only super touching and romantic to her, and is a hassle to me. What should I do? I’ve talked to her about this before, but I just can’t get her to understand why I don’t like what she does. She think she’s doing everything right.
Example 1: I’d be carrying a whole bunch of stuff and be exhausted. She’ll be worried that I’m thirsting, so she buys me a bubble tea. But it’s got a super complicated packaging (not the sort you can just stab a straw through and drink), so I can’t drink it at all with my hands full of stuff. So I end up carrying that all the way home too. After communicating, she said she didn’t know that chain had a super complicated packaging, but she buys from them all the time. She claims she forgot though.
Example 2: She bought me a super expensive glass mug. But I usually drink super hot water, and a glass mug gets really hot to hold and I’m worried it’ll explode or something. So I ask her if we couldn’t return it and not waste the money in a very calm tone of voice. But she thinks I just don’t like her getting me gifts anyways. That she was just trying to be nice, and I’m being mean to her because I don’t like her gifts?
Example 3: We had an argument while doing long-distance and she got an overnight train ride to come see me. This was before I was out of the closet to my family. Maybe if I was looking at this from an outside perspective, I would think it was super romantic. But I couldn’t explain to my family at all what was going on and had to come up with a lot of very stressful lies. I asked her if she could let me know first next time she wants to come over, and she demanded whether I was saying she was wrong for just wanting to see me.
Example 4: She bought me a bouquet for a holiday once, but my roommates are allergic to pollen so I can’t actually put it in my place. I didn’t have anywhere to keep it and didn’t want to just throw it away, like that would be disrespecting her. So I asked whether I could keep the flowers at her place. She likes flowers too. She felt like I’d rejected her gift again and started giving me the silent treatment again. Even after I explained and she said everything was fine, she was still visibly pissed off.
I used to really like my girlfriend, and I know all of this behaviour is because she really likes me. But whenever stuff like this happens, I feel like I don’t like her anymore. I feel like I’m suffocating. Is there a solution to this?
Comments say, “You don’t deserve your girlfriend.”
The cake leftovers is a hate crime
really enjoying these posts btw! the longer post about sexism was awesome too. i've come to this blog with 0 prior background on chinese culture, and certain things you mention send me on wikipedia dives for context. this kind of lends itself to doing foucaultian "history of the present", starting with present social trends and tracing them back through time, which i find much more approachable than trying to build up from a foundation