Due to the trending topic #my daughter has bad grades—tell her off for me, another topic has stared trending, #why do parents care so much about grades. In response, a third topic is trending #what is the most important in your children? And now CCTV News has put out a poll asking people on the internet what they think the most important thing for children are. The options are “health”, “happiness”, “World View”, “Kindness (or morality)”, “Future Development” and “Other, see you in the comments”.
Comments say, “You should add grades as an option. I think a lot of parents want to choose grades.”
Under the trending topic #Is it worth it to bring children into this world? A famous nutritionist and well known scientist replies, “This is the best time in the last hundred years. In this day and age, children aren’t thrown into the toilet as soon as they’re born, or tossed into a river, or sold, or given away.
In this day and age, there are no wars, no bombs, no bullets flying everywhere, no chance of being ran through on a bayonet.
In this day and age, there’s no need to eat grass or bark or soil or die of starvation.
In this day and age, there’s no one who lacks a complete set of clothes, who share one pair of pants among a whole family, of climbing a mountain in a pair of straw shoes.
In this day and age, there are no children who cannot afford to have their sickness treated, who can only wait with their parents for death in despair.
In this day and age, there are no children who cannot afford to go to school, and must watch as other kids get educated.
In this day and age, there’s no one who’s never ridden in a car or train, you don’t need to worry about never seeing your family again if you ever travel out of state.
In this day and age, we have heating in the winter and AC in the summer.
In this day and age, we have so much food that no one ever knows what they want for dinner, and new fashion every season.
In this day and age, no matter what distance between you, there is video chat, and you can see whoever you want whenever you want.
In this day and age, if you’re in danger, there is help. If you are in trouble, there is assistance.
Every generation has lived better than the last. This is simple historical truth. It is merely people’s tolerance for hardship which is going down. The hardship that our ancestors could tolerate, we cannot. The sacrifices our fathers were willing to make, we are not.
In the past, people followed the laws of nature, like all animals and plants. No matter how hard it was, no matter how many obstacles there were, they must pass down their DNA. Now, people pursue freedom. If they want kids, they’ll get kids. If they don’t want kids, then they won’t.
Sure, you’re certainly welcome to not have kids. That’s your right, absolutely. But do not say that it’s because your life is harder than your parents, that passing down your genes is harder than what your ancestors had to do. And don’t say that your children will have a worse life than you.
If that’s the case, then what’s the point of the past century of struggle? What is the point of your parents’ decades of hard work?
Be honest with yourself. There are tons of reasons to not have kids, but the future being harder and worse is not one of them.”
A blogger shows videos of a famous celebrity’s kiddo, joking about how his face looks weird. Commenters underneath agree, “It’s such a typical mouth-breather face.”
Someone posts, “Western cherries are nothing like actual cherries! These are what real cherries look like! They’re super fragile, can’t be transported over long distance at all. I’ve seen in Liaoning, they call western cherries “XL Shandong Cherries”, and I thought it was fucking ridiculous. Why doesn’t anyone remember China has its own cherries?”
In the comments, people agree, “That’s the kind of cherries I ate growing up. They’re so fucking good! But they’re so fragile. You can hardly find any for sale. Now I only get to have them when I go back to my hometown.”
A relationship blogger writes, “I’ve had a fan come seeking advice. Both her and her boyfriend are from rural villages, both poor families with no house. They’re both working in Beijing for just a couple thousand RMB a month. She feels like since they’re both in their thirties and they’ve been together for two years, maybe they should just go ahead and get married. She’s not even asking for a bride price. But she doesn’t want kids. She just doesn’t think she can support them.
But her boyfriend says if that’s the case, then he doesn’t want to get married. If they get married, they absolutely must have kids.
She’s confused. Like, with his situation, he’d have to beg and pray to find a wife at all, and he’s still picky over having kids?
I analysed for her that for a dirt-poor man, the only thing he can offer a woman is legitimacy. There are too many women in this society who feel a need for that legitimacy, to be a Wife instead of a Girlfriend. He can use the lure of this title of Wife to obtain a spouse and a child. Now that you want the title but don’t want to produce a child, of course he feels like he got cheated and wants to break up. You feel like he wasted two years of your time, he probably feels like you wasted two years of his time.
And there are so, so, so few child-free men out there. And most child-free men don’t want marriage. Good luck finding a unicorn who’s both child-free and looking for a wife.”
Under the trending topic #Why do Guangdong people have so many kids, a blogger writes, “ The saying goes, “My MIL gives me one soldier, I will return to her a Company.” What’s wrong with having lots of kids? Why do Guangdong people have so many kids? It’s not just that they preserve tradition well there, but because they love each other and support each other. A 36-year-old Guangdong woman birthed seven kids for her husband. When interviewed, she said, “My husband’s DNA is so good, I can’t let it go to waste.” And now, she’s an internet influencer with millions of fans thanks to those seven kids.
This Guangdong minimum wage worker is named Zhang Rongrong. She is internet famous now, and many people have been commenting on her life. For the most part, people are very supportive, because it’s quite an accomplishment to raise seven kids.
The meeting of Zhang Rongrong and her husband was quite dramatic. One year, when Zhang Rongrong was returning home for the New Year with all her hard-earned money, she was robbed by a motorcycle drive-by. She was distraught, sitting down by the road and crying. That’s when a young man walked up, asked what happened, and found out that they were from the same town. He took out a couple hundred RMB and gave it to her. This man was her future husband.
After that day, Zhang Rongrong already had a great impression of this young man. Once she got stable again, she asked to take him out to dinner as thanks. After meeting him a couple of times, she found that not only is he a top student at Beijing University (Harvard equivalent), but he’s from a very wealthy family.
Plus, he had a very gentle and caring personality, with none of the arrogance you might see in a trust fund brat. He was friendly to everyone. So she thought about marrying him. If you just look at family background and social status, they’re a world apart. They didn’t look like the sort of couple who could end up together.
But the educated young man felt that Zhang Rongrong was young and pretty and brave and independent enough to carry the financial burden of her family on her shoulders at a young age. It’s not easy for a young girl to be making her own way in the big city. And that maybe this is exactly what he should be looking for in a partner for the rest of his life.
So they began dating, and quickly got to the point of marriage. When the young man’s parents found out, they also thought Zhang Rongrong’s background is too low and didn’t agree to this marriage.
It’s understandable for the parents to disapprove. After all, it’s a teaching from ancient times that you should marry your own class, or else you’ll face endless troubles in the days to come.
More importantly, Zhang Rongrong hadn’t even graduated high school. Their education level and living environment is drastically different. For the first twenty years of their life, it was like they lived in totally different worlds.
If it wasn’t for that accident, they might have never had contact with each other. But faced with his parent’s strong disapproval, the young man insisted on marrying Zhang Rongrong anyways. No matter how hard his parents tried to dissuade him, he never wavered.
Instead, he tried to persuade them to accept Zhang Rongrong. And with his ceaseless efforts, and through getting to know Zhang Rongrong, his parents finally changed their mind.
His parents found that she was a very frugal woman, and knew how to run a household efficiently. She can do a number of tasks competently and is very good to their son. So they agreed to the marriage.
That’s how Zhang Rongrong found a husband and gave him seven children and became a media sensation. Zhang Rongrong’s love story is very touching, to climb all the way from a tiny minimum wage worker to a influencer with a million fans and a loving family.
Although she has seven children, each one of those children is proof of the love between her and her husband.”
Comments say, “Guangdong had 1.51 million births in 2017, 1.18 million births in 2021, and just 1.05 million births in 2022. They’re not having kids anymore either.”
A relationship blogger writes, “I’ve been married to my wife for three years, no kids. It’s because I brought up at the beginning that we should split the bill on everything. My wife agreed, but she wants to split the bill on kids too. We’ve been negotiating for ages and could never agree on the split.
My wife made this huge itemised list of all the expenses—check ups, tests, extra nutrition, child birth, sitting the month, diapers, formula, vitamins…if I want her to quit her job and take care of the kids, then I need to pay her a nanny’s salary for three years too. At a minimum of 6K a month, that’s almost 220K for three years. She wants me to put a down payment of 300K before she’s willing to get pregnant.
I argue, “No way, how can it be that high?”
My wife said, “That’s literally the lowest wage I could find for a nanny. I didn’t even include the cost of my egg, the use of my uterus, or the cost of having intercourse with you.”
I hurried to object, “Why would you even include that? Are we even husband and wife anymore? Why wouldn’t I just go sleep with someone else then? You’re really making yourself sound cheap!”
She said, “But you wanted to split the bill. If you didn’t ruin any possibility of romance between us, why would I treat you like a customer? If you didn’t bring this up, why would I calculate everything so carefully? I don’t want to keep track like this either. But if you want it to be fair, then I’m going to ensure it’s fair. I’m not going to let you just shrug away things that are at my expense.”
I didn’t know how to retort. I get paid 10K a month, my wife makes 8K. Because I make more money than her and didn’t want her to manage my salary, so I suggested splitting the bill. I spend my money and she spends hers, and we live our own separate lives and no one questions what the other person is buying. Being married was like not being married. I loved my freedom. I loved not having to think twice about spending money. But when my wife showed me her savings after three years, I was shocked. She had 200K!
She never saved money much. She eats a simple breakfast, does lunch at the company cafeteria, and cooks dinner. Just one meat dish and one veggie dish. If I want to eat it, then I need to pay. And I have to pay whatever she charges. After all, she bought the ingredients, she cooked them, and she even adds in things like the cost of the gas for the stove, the cost of water, and even cleaning the table afterwards.
After that, I feel like I was really getting the short end of the stick with the splitting the bill. But I couldn’t even find a way to retort. For the first time, I questioned whether splitting the bill is the right idea.
Lately, my mother got sick and had to have someone help her out at the hospital. I’m busy with work and don’t have time, so I asked my wife whether she would go. She agreed quickly, but she wanted a nursing fee, 20 RMB per hour, and I have to pay upfront.
She is going to take three days off of work, and can stay 24 hours at the hospital. If it’s 20 RMB an hour, that’s 1440 RMB for three days. I grit my teeth and agreed. And in case she changed her mind, I only paid half up front. My wife smiled and agreed.
The three days flew by. My mom’s surgery cost 20K. My card only had 1K left in it after that. All of a sudden, I didn’t have enough money for my wife. So I said that I’d pay her next month. Now she’s upset. As soon as I get off of work, she’s following me around, endlessly reminding me how I went back on my promise, how I broke our agreement, that I’m shameless, that I’m trying to cheat her. All kinds of nasty words. I couldn’t hold it in anymore and started accusing her of being cheap, of being stingy, of not caring about our parents, of not being like a wife. Who chases their husband down and asks for money?
My wife made fun of me, “If you can’t handle splitting the bill, then back down. I can accept your apology. Stop wasting both of our time and energy. It’s none of my business anyways whether your mom was sick or not. I have my own work too. Is it not a cost to me to take time off of work? We both agreed to the price, don’t change your mind now. What, you think you own a gold mine or something? You think I married you because I’m a gold digger? You want to split the bill, and you want me to be the model wife, and take care of your parents and your children for free? If all you care about is money, then don’t fucking bring up love. God, now I know what an archetypical useless, selfish man looks like. You disgust me.”
Angry, I slapped her. She was shocked for a moment, and immediately jumped up and slapped me back twice.”
Comments say, “But it’s her job to take care of your mom. That’s her filial piety. How would that be included in splitting the bill? She’s way too petty.”
I recall there being some interesting academic papers on how joint financials are good for marital stability (mostly by training you to not have to constantly calculate a "fair" amount vs your partner, which is habit that leads directly to discord), but none of them are as convincing as that horror story. Nothing quite so hellish as the purgatory of splitting hairs over literally every single purchase.
But apparently, there are no joint bank accounts in China.
Do you know if this is the species of cherry? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prunus_tomentosa