A submission to a lesbian relationship blogger: “The absolute worst problem with living together with your girlfriend! My girlfriend eats way too fast! I don’t know what to do. Whenever we’re watching a show together, eating chips, I’ve only eaten 3-5 pieces and she’s already finished the whole bag. If we eat KFC together, I’ll only get through one piece of chicken, and she’s already eaten all the other pieces and the hamburger. Normal dinner time too, I’ll barely get two bites of rice in after cooking all day and all the dishes I’d made are gone. I bought a 6-inch durian cake today, and just had a tiny piece. I walked away to get some tea, and when I came back, the entire cake was gone. I feel too shy to bring this up. I’ve gently hinted at the problem before, that if she eats this fast, I’ll never get to enjoy anything. I feel kinda sad. What should I do?”
Comments suggest: “Just eat secretly by yourself without her?”
Western China New reports that 60% of internet voters say they can’t accept their spouse donating sperm out of over 100,000 participants.
Comments joke, “Is it even necessary to consider whether or not you can accept it? They have pretty high standards at sperm donation places—they won’t even take sperm if you don’t meet their requirements.”
Someone posts, “I talked with all the girls in my dorm and we listed our absolute lowest standard for a boyfriend or husband. How many do you fulfill?
Gender male.
Height without shoes must be at least 175cm.
No fatties. Judged by both weight and facial features.
Must have a city hukou. Family must be able to pay the downpayment for a house in the suburbs of the city. Both of us can pay off the rest of the loan together.
Must have a university bachelor degree, preferably a master’s degree.
His parents must have proper employment, with no criminal records and no bad habits like gambling.
Not a drama queen. Not a control freak. Needs to be able to compromise with me, and not follow me around like crazy and freak out if I eat out with anyone else. Definitely don’t want the type to overthink.
Knows how to take care of people, not the sort of guy who’s never had to do any work around the house before. Housework like laundry, cooking, and cleaning has to be split 50-50.
No bad habits, like prostitution, or flirting with girls online, or being messy.
Not actively super ugly—acne or scar covered face, super disproportionate features, etc.
Willing to take on at least 2/3rd of expenses while dating, not stingy.
If we’re both students, there are no requirements for earnings. But if he’s working in a major city, must make over 150K a year.
Bonus points:
Height over 180cm. But not height over 188cm.
Likes to play basketball or work out.
Has muscles, has good figure. Too much muscle like some kind of bodybuilding freak is not okay.
Comes from a big city, parents has high social status, family is well-educated and has a good relationship with each other.
Looks clean, keeps himself hygienic.
Has good fashion taste. But not too obsessed with his own looks.
Humorous, extroverted, opinionated, and decisive, and not a mommy’s boy.
Can cook well.
Don’t smoke, don’t drink often.”
Comments ask, “Are you a virgin?”
A humour blogger writes, “I was just chatting with my mother the other day, and she said that whether it’s with friends, or dates, or spouses, or anyone you’ve got a long-term relationship with, the most important thing is to consider each other a comrade.
Like, when it comes to raising kids, she’s got very clearly delineated roles with my dad. They have a concept of a “family pool of energy”. When I was very small, because of her hormones, my mom had a lot of separation anxiety. If she can’t see me, her energy levels go down very quickly. So on childrearing, she did the majority of the work while my dad just played occasional support. As I grew up, I needed more and more exercise, and compared to my dad, my mom was a lot more sensitive and worried about all kinds of things. Guiding me to try something exciting and new could cost my mom, say, three energy, but my dad can accomplish the same thing with only one or two energy. If my mom took me, then this costs 3 energy out of the communal pool. If my dad takes me, it only costs one. This is better for the family. So he began being the primary child carer.
He took me to the sea, to the forest, climbed roofs, played in river banks. We ran around everywhere. I’ve wrapped a snake around my neck, I’ve eaten fried grasshopper, I’ve fished on the dam in hailing weather. He even taught me marksmanship and horse-riding, like I was in some kind of spec ops training. And after all that, he still made sure I did my homework. After a day, I would be completely out of energy, and all my mom had to do was check my homework and bathe me. But I needed to spend all that energy, and if it was my mom, she’d have to work twice as hard to get the same results. This is an unnecessary loss for the family pool.
So they both agreed which one of them should do what.
If they didn’t consider each other allies, if they maintained their own separate individual energy pools, and the stronger person was always calculating and scheming to work out how to make the weaker person spend their energy on maintaining the family, then they’re just creating a family slave. Right?
ETA: Also, from the point of view of a kiddo, marksmanship, archery, and riding horses is super fun. I fired a high-caliber rifle for the first time when I was five years old. I had to stand in my dad’s embrace, or the recoil would make me fall over backwards. At the time, Pattaya City said you had to be 10 or 12 years old before you can fire a real gun, and we just completely ignored that. It was barely enforced. The coach was standing right by and he let me do it. I fell in love right away. I don’t think you can do this anymore—there’s much stricter enforcement.”
A video of an old lady fighting with her daughter in law. The daughter in law has a bucket of faeces that she is slinging at the old lady, while the old lady alternately tries to chase after her and run away. After much of this, the old lady suddenly keels over. Her other daughter in law and a bystander film this on their phone, but don’t do anything to help her. After five minutes of her laying face down in shit water, not moving, the other daughter in law finally realises something might be wrong, and phones up some relatives near by. Soon, the relatives come strolling by, not hurrying at all. They peer at her, then light a cigarette, still not moving a muscle to help. This video ends by the narrator asking who’s in the wrong for this. I’m not linking it, because uh, I’m not sure about the legality or appropriateness of actually linking videos where someone possibly dies on camera?
Comments say, “God, this daughter-in-law is so evil! I hope she never has any sons!”
Another submission to a relationship blogger, “My father has worked all his life, and now that he’s old, he’s still helping us with the kids. He originally didn’t want to come over, just wanted to stay in the countryside. But I’m a failure and can’t make enough money to keep my family alive, and my wife needs to work, so when my dad saw that there’s no one to take care of his granddaughter, he came to live with us. He never interferes with our decisions. If we’re home, he’ll go out. He’s so afraid of being a bother to us. Even at dinner time, he doesn’t want to be an eyesore, so he always eats in the corner instead of with us at the table. We’ve invited him over to the table several times, and he refuses.”
He attaches a photo too:
Comments say, “So join him in the corner.”
On the 12th of April, the case of Gao from Shanghai murdering his wife was tried and sentenced. The results of sentencing aren’t public knowledge. According to court documents, Ting and Gao married in 2015. Afterwards, Gao wracked up a lot of debt with his failed investments in the stock market, and borrowed many high interest loans from various internet platforms and relatives and friends. On the 2nd of March, 2022, 8am, Gao stabbed Ting in the neck and murdered her. Gao then bought a white refrigerator, and contacted Ting’s family and coworkers using her social media accounts. The next day, the fridge was delivered, and after failing to stuff the body in the fridge, Gao attempted suicide by first drinking cleaning fluids, then slitting his wrists and neck. After he failed, he called the police on the 3rd of March, 6pm, to say that he and his wife attempted suicide together at home.
According to the victim’s family, Gao recanted his confession in court, denying that he’d ever stabbed his wife or that he had researched another famous spousal murder case where the wife was hidden in a fridge beforehand. The victim’s family also reveal that after Gao had murdered Ting, he had wired away all of her money, and even spent some of the money on buying lottery tickets. Right now, the family is just waiting for a just decision from the court.
Comments say, “Shanghai men again. God, it’s terrifying.”
An askreddit thread, “Why do people say that government jobs are ‘iron-clad employment’?” The top-voted reply is, “My workplace hired a girl once who had disabilities in her right hand. She was very up front about it, and didn’t face any discrimination when it came to hiring. We appealed several times at every step of the hiring process, and every time, we got the reply that she’s perfectly qualified for the position she applied for, and we’re not supposed to discriminate against disabled people.
She’s from a super normal family and treasures this job. I hear she’s working really hard at it. If this was a private company, as soon as they hear that she can’t even properly operate a computer, they’d have dropped her immediately.
But honestly, at every workplace, there are a bunch of perfectly able-bodied people who are just wasting time all day anyways. So long as they’re treating the job seriously and dedicated to working hard, it doesn’t really matter whether they can use a keyboard or not.”
Comments say, “Does it really not matter if you can’t use a laptop? A discharged vet just came into my workplace last month who doesn’t know how computers work at all. He can’t do literally anything.”
The story about the family pool of energy is a cheerful one, and it made me realize a theme running through many of these stories — at the root of it is a worldview where other people are adversaries by default. Whether it's the translated posts about conflicts between spouses, or between parents and children, or about coworkers, a lot of it seems to be caused by the need to not be the one "losing out". To treat life as a zero-sum game where if you're not the one taking advantage of someone else, that means you're the sucker, and so everyone is locked in this trap where they're all immiserating each other.
Like that first story about the girlfriend that eats too fast, isn't that something that could be solved by ordering more food? Presumably the girlfriend isn't a bottomless pit that will just swallow anything put in front of her. Isn't it strange that the default framing is that "if you eat more than I do, I've lost out, this is unfair and I'm angry"?
Or is that just what happens when you have a society with far too many people and far too few "good seats"?