03/30/24 - The next teacher went through all my text records on the projector in front of the whole class.
“26-years-old, I want to emigrate to Japan, any senpais got any advice for me?
My situation is that I’m working as a civil servant in the fire department in China (starting from 2022), 10K a month salary, 3K superannuation, pretty good benefits as far as civil servants go. I have to stay at my job all the time though, 24-hour on call. I’m a civil servant out of state so I don’t get any time off, but I do get 60 days of leave per year, and I use it to travel twice a year in winter and spring. Been doing this for 2 years now, and I just don’t see the purpose in life. We’ve never had to deal with any emergencies. It’s mostly a bunch of paperwork. It’s a big wear on my willpower (endless notes, endless organisation, endless investigations by higher ups). If I want to get transferred to work in my hometown, it’ll be 200K to 300K.
I graduated from an average university with a double major in journalism and Japanese, and I have an N2 certificate in Japanese. Haven’t spoken it at all in 2 years though, so I’d have to relearn it. My degree in journalism was just theory too, and I’ve forgotten almost everything. I just remember simple photoshop for taking photos and really basic PR. I’ve saved up almost 300K after two years of work, and I want to quit my job to fulfil my dream in college (I wanted to study abroad in college, but it was during covid times and some shit went down in my family so I couldn’t).”
Comments say, “Wonderful! Go right now! Leave your job for people who are more suitable for it!”
“There was a guy in last year’s emigration videos who said they were a civil servant working for nationalised oil, and just felt bored and unfulfilled. I honestly thought he was making shit up for attention. Is anyone actually that dumb in real life?”
“I suggest before you go, you take out all the loans you can, and as soon as you leave the country, you can throw it all into crypto.”
“A lot of bottom class parents need to stop dreaming. You can’t imagine how shocking it is when bottom class people encounter upper class life.
There was a post on Tianya [forum board] way back when, a mom from an ordinary family saw a takeout delivery driver playing the public piano in a shopping mall while waiting for the restaurant to be done with the order.
And she got depressed all of a sudden. She wrote that, “For kids from prestigious families, learning art and music makes them into a sophisticated trust fund brat. But for kids from poor families, even if they learned art and music, they would just be sheep for tutoring agencies. They’ll just grow up to be a 996 salaryman who knows how to play piano, a ghostwriter who knows how to play chess, an artist or salesman who knows how to paint.
Those tutoring agencies love to paint beautiful dreams for parents, like learning these things can change your kid’s life. But they’ll never tell parents that all of these expensive lessons have to be built on a foundation of materialism.
As soon as this mom went home, she ended all of her kids art and music lessons. She thought it would be better for her kid to learn a skill that earns money, or some survival skills.”
Comments say, “Art and music is a shelter for my mind. If your life sucks, you can hide away in there. The joy that art brings is universal no matter what your station in life. If you don’t like it, though, don’t force yourself. Don’t turn your shelter into a cage.”
“But poor people still deserve to have a hobby? If they’re still keeping up with piano with all of their work, then they must love piano.”
“If your kid actually enjoys themselves, then let them learn. You don’t have to be so calculating with everything, like they have to become successful at it. It’s a pretty wonderful thing just for ordinary people to find something they’re interested in.”
A blogger reposts someone’s post seeking advice, “How do I make my son’s classmate not come over to my place anymore? He’s in 2nd grade this year, and one of his classmates come over to my house every day after dinner to play with my son. He comes right in the door, sits down at the dinner table, and watches my son eat. And then he says he wants to have some too. At first, I’ll let him try a couple of bites of our food. But it went on every day. Today, he ate an entire steak and a plate of chicken. And while he’s stuffing his face, he’s asking my son why he won’t eat all of this delicious food.
My son has always been a picky eater, kind of short and thin. We make all kinds of beef and chicken and shrimp and fish and soup for him, and this classmate is coming over every day and eating way more than my son. And my son, the naive idiot that he is, even likes his friend coming over. After dinner, he’ll even pull some milk out of the fridge to give to his friend before heading out to play.
I’m so frustrated. Both of this classmate’s parents are out working and he lives with his grandma. I guess she doesn’t cook anything he likes or something. Is there an appropriate way to stop him from coming over? Or at least to show a bit of manners and not eat all of my food? Of course, I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”
OP writes, “The surface reason why this parent dislikes her son’s classmate coming over: the kid eats too much at her house and she’s upset. The deeper reason is actually that she’s upset her own son doesn’t eat enough. That she put all this effort into making a feast for her son, and he doesn’t even eat as much as a random guest. So she’s fallen into close-minded poor people think.
The only problem this mom needs to solve is how to make her kid eat more, and her kid’s best friend is actually a great help. You can negotiate with his grandma to see if you could take turns cooking for both kids. First, it teaches your child how to be a polite guest, and build a good foundation for socialisation. Second, your kid can taste other people’s home-cooking, and might learn to appreciate you more. And finally, it’ll make you feel less like you’re being taken advantage of.
I think this classmate is a very appreciative kid. He likes this mom, he likes her food. And I think his mom will understand in the end that if she can keep her son’s friend around with some food, this is the best investment she could make into her son’s social learning.”
Comments say, “Boundaries, though. She needs to get permission from the grandma, ask if he’s allowed to eat over here, if he’s allergic to anything. It’d be pretty scary if anything went wrong. Kids this young need parents to accompany them when they’re eating out. I guess it’s different in China, though. Neighbours get along a lot better. Doing alternating dinners makes sense. Makes it into a kind of game. And it teacher her son that not every family has food that’s as good as hers. He might learn to appreciate her cooking more and eat more.” [Poster IP in Australia.]
“Reminds me that my friend when I was little didn’t like to eat, and her mom would cook a meal and invite me over, because my friend eats when I’m eating too. Oh, and I guess she also felt bad for me. I’m really grateful for that loving auntie and my friend.”
“It’s up to whether the kids get along. If he can encourage her kiddo into eating more, then that’d be great.”
“Americans are confused by Chinese immigrants wearing Canada Goose jackets, holding iPhones.
She’s gotta at least be middle class, right? It’s not like she lacks money. Why does she still insist on illegally immigrating to America? Just what is drawing her here?”
Comments say, “She’s just a socialist manchild [this term is gender neutral in Chinese].”
“It’s metabolism. America loves to absorb crap like this.”
“Everyone in the Beijing subway in winter time has a Canada Goose jacket. Not a single one of them is genuine though.”
“Why don’t hotpot restaurants let you eat alone?
What the title says. Ahhhhh, I’m so confused.
I always go to this place with my roommate, love their food.
Just got done with my exams today, and wanted to reward myself, plus I was starving, so I went over. But when I said I was just there by myself and I wanted a tomato soup base, the waitress was like, “Call a friend to join you.” And I was like, “…why?” And she was like, “It’s not worth it for yourself. A soup base is like 30-40 bucks.” And I was like, “Yeah, I know. I don’t mind.” And she was like, “It’s not worth it for us either. How much food can you eat by yourself? Go somewhere else. Come with a friend next time, okay?”
Like, I was already feeling down after that conversation. In the end, I had to leave and just buy some snacks.”
Comments say, “File a complaint that they turned away customers.”
“Huh?? I’ve never heard of anything like this.”
“Lol, this restaurant has no idea how to do business.”
Okay, there needs to be a lot of context to this next post. A certain genre of creepypasta is very popular on the Chinese internet, where it’s just a list of school rules or workplace policy or whatever, and they never say that there are hauntings or that anything is wrong, but you can tell something is up by the rules, and your imagination fills in the terror. Like, “1. You must never go to the bathroom except in groups of 3 or more. 2. All classrooms are strictly off limits after 6PM. 3. A Mr. Huang Xiuwen has never taught at this school. 4. All students must wear a cross or other item of religious significance as a part of their uniform. 5. If classmates you do not recognise suddenly appear in class, avoid eye contact and do not respond to anything they say.”
And some people have been making funny memes about how the real world is also one of these creepypasta, because of how many rules in society seemingly makes no sense, and yet you’re forced to follow them anyways.
This blogger writes a post, “emphasising something to people who believe we’re players in a rules creepypasta universe:
When you know a certain rule isn’t right, and yet you believe from the bottom of your heart, “But I have to do it this way anyways!”, then congratulations, you’ve been memetically infected.”
For example, you know that the rule that, “Husbands will never help after you have a child.” is ridiculous, but you still sincerely believe that, “But he needs to make money! If he helps out with childcare and he’s exhausted, then he won’t be able to bring in money and we won’t be able to put food on the table!”
You know there’s something wrong with these rules, but you still do everything you can to maintain and defend these problematic rules.
Or another example, you know it’s ridiculous to say that, “Working 996 hours long-term is the best way to grind.” And yet, you also steadfastly believe, “But if I don’t 996, how am I going to get raises and promotions? This is the company rules. If you don’t want to 996, you can leave.”
This is also very typical: you know the rules are wrong, but you’re also constantly brainwashing yourself to believe in these unjust rules.
If you notice yourself doing this, go get yourself a psych checkup.
I can’t really help you with memetic infection. All I can do is share the correct rules.
But a lot of players have been infected. They’re not lucid anymore, and can’t think for themselves.
I don’t have a good solution to that either.
All I can suggest is that you play some mini games or side quests for a while, give yourself a bit to rest, and start over again.
After all, beating the game is important, but your life is even more valuable than that.”
Comments say, “My coworker curses our boss every day, and every day, he’s also PUA-ing me that we can’t displease our boss.”
“I’ve already been infected.”
“Same here…I know it’s bad for my husband’s health to smoke and drink, but then I tell myself, aren’t all men the same?”
A compilation of how scary it is to have your privacy invaded by people you know:
“One of my coworkers was class leader during university. When he collected student information, he found one of his classmates was from a wealthy family, her parents were both civil servants, and she was an only child, and she wasn’t bad looking. So in a moment of inspiration, he pursued her and married her as soon as they graduated. He’s from a rural village with 4 brothers.”
“My classmate saw everyone’s national ID number, and his parent looked up everyone’s grades using it.”
“In my school, when they reset your password, it defaults to the last 6 digits of your national ID number. I know there’s good and bad people everywhere, but two people secretly got together and looked up everyone’s grades using their default passwords, and they’re both from a county in your IP. Honestly, after that, every time I see someone from their hometown, I get alert. I know I shouldn’t rationally speaking, but I still can’t hold down my anger emotionally.”
“I’m a teacher, and opened up my wechat while in class and forgot to log out. The next teacher opened up my wechat and went through all my text records on the projector in front of the whole class. Like, holy fuck. Thank God I have a work account that’s separate from my personal account. I’m just a little worried that everyone saw me complaining about my boss.”
“My roommate sent me a picture showing off the new pink curtains she bought, and there was a sliver of the view out of her window showing. And crazy my ex-boyfriend decided to start looking up which buildings were outside of her window to deduce where she lived, and told me that that unit is pretty expensive. I told him off and got scared and broke up right away. Turns out, he also looked up where my parents worked, how much money they made, how much our family car cost, my family home cost, my best friend’s family factory, my other best friend’s family pharmacy…what a crazy bastard.”
“My classmate in undergrad would deduce whether I’d blocked someone based on what I upvoted in my friend circle and who upvoted me back, to study my social relationships with people, in order to find out if I’m closer to anyone else other than her. I was confused at first, and when she accidentally let slip what she was doing, she became the first person I blocked on wechat.”
“You think taking care of your elders means just feeding them and clothing them?
In actuality, taking care of your elders means letting them be in charge of your household. They have different mindsets. They don’t like you shopping online because it’s a waste of money. They want all their food to be nothing but cabbages and carrots. Their idea of childcare is just making sure the kid is alive. Toys are obviously a waste of money, since they break all the time and the kid gets sick of them all the time. You have to cook everything to their taste, or else you’re wronging them. Everything has to be super overcooked and mushy and soft, or else they can’t chew it. No matter how nice you are to them, they’ll never be grateful, because they feel entitled to all of this. And no matter how abusive they are to you, they’re still your elders and you still have to respect them.
If they feel the least bit unsatisfied, they’ll complain about you to all your neighbours. No matter if you have work or not, you’re no longer in charge of your daily schedule. If you sleep in a little on the weekends, they’ll complain about you.
When he was taking care of you, if you don’t listen, he beats you. When you’re taking care of him, if he doesn’t listen, you’re still the one getting told off. You think taking care of your elders is just treating them well and getting their respect in return. But actually, your elders are there to supervise you as your superiors, to criticise everything you do, and if you don’t listen, you’re a bad child.
Why is it easier to keep a dog than to take care of your elders? Because so long as a dog is fed and watered, he’ll happily wag his tail at you all day, and he can support you emotionally. You can do your best to take care of your elders and they’ll always have new demands. He’s here to be your boss, to make sure you pay back your debt towards him. He’s not asking for your help.
Of course, I’m not talking about reasonable old people. Reasonable old people don’t have a problem getting taken care of, because their children like to help them out.”
Comments say, “Family with no sense of boundaries is a disaster. If they can take care of themselves, they should do that. I’ll visit on the weekends. If they can’t take care of themselves, they can spend their own money to hire help. If they don’t have enough money, I’m happy to pay the difference. I’ll only do what’s absolutely necessary, because I have my own family and kids to take care of.”
“You’re talking about my mom. My mom has to control everyone in my family, including my in-laws. If anyone doesn’t listen to her, then I’m an ungrateful bastard. She badmouths me to everyone. You’d think I was seriously abusing her or something. We have to take her along every time we go out, or else I’m being filially unpious. She sets the menu every day. She decides on the TV channel. Thank God I have the most forgiving husband in the world.”
“Taking care of old people is so, so, SO much more expensive than raising a child. And honestly, a lot of kids take care of themselves. The parents just provide some food, like they’re taking care of a dog or cat.”
Does this actually use the word "senpais" as a joke since it's Japan? Or is that just how you're translating it?
When I was traveling in Korea, the same thing happened to me. Many restaurants didn’t want me to eat alone, sometimes i ordered two portions, most of the time I left.