Nantong City has banned the burning of paper products during Qing Ming [Chinese Memorial Day], causing a lot of controversy on weibo. A blogger posts a picture and says, “Now I understand why Nantong bans burning paper.” The picture is a paper house a little over twice the height of a man.
Comments say, “At first, I felt like Nantong government was too conservative. Now, I realise I’m the one who’s too conservative.”
“We’ve all misunderstood Nantong. Behind every ridiculous regulation is an even more ridiculous story.”
“That’s way too much! Yeah, this definitely needs to get banned.”
“Just learned my best friend at work is the CEO’s son.
Who gets it? Everyone at my company is a lot older than me. I’m the newest intern here, first job ever, nobody teaches me anything. This coworker guy is the only person in the office who’s the same age as me, and he takes really good care of me, organises all my work, and even talks to my boss on my behalf. I rely on him for everything. I’m totally his sidekick at work.
He’s always acted super normal, like any salaryman. He’ll remind me to get off of work on time, teach me how to slack off without the boss noticing, help me with everything. And I talk to him about everything too. Thank God I’ve never badmouthed my boss to him. Thank god all my bosses are pretty good to me.
I always thought he was just a more trusted underling to our boss. That he’s a salaryman like me. When I work overtime, he even comforts me saying that all work is like this. It’s the same at any other company. And he thanks me for my hardwork all the time. I really thought he was my friend! And I found out today that he’s the CEO’s son!!
I’m honestly having a breakdown. I want to quit. Help! I really treated him like my comrade, and he’s trying to screw me!!”
Comments say, “Are you a guy or a girl? If you’re a girl, and he’s decent looking, then screw him back. If you’re a guy, and he’s decent looking, then screw him back.”
“Young lady, it’s been a long time since this old servant has seen the young master act so lively.”
“Prince Consort Promotion Tales. Please keep updating. I want to see you climb up step by step.”
“What a sneaky guy Li Jiacheng is [Hongkong billionaire]. This is an excellent counter attack by the Shenzhen government!
In 1997, Li Jiacheng invests in the Shenzhen Wutong Mountain tunnel project, and got the rights to charge tolls on the tunnel for 30 years. In 2000, the amount of traffic skyrockets, with more than 25,000 cars passing through the tunnel every day. The toll is 10-30 RMB, and everyone’s complaining about it. In 2004, Shenzhen government wants to buy the toll rights back, and Li Jiacheng demands 1.3 billion RMB for it, and they could not reach an agreement. The Shenzhen government decides to build a second free tunnel and break the monopoly. In 2008, the second tunnel opens, and the amount of traffic drastically reduces. In 2011, Li Jiacheng was forced to sell his toll rights for 250 million RMB, and make the first tunnel also free to pass through.
What do you think about the Shenzhen government’s counterattack? Let me know in the comments!”
Comments say, “When they were building the tunnel, they had no money and had to ask Hong Kong for help. They signed a contract for 30 years of toll rights, and just 7 years later, the government got jealous and wanted to get back their toll rights. Isn’t it pretty clear what’s going on here?”
“Just to be clear, that is a bottleneck road. The problem wasn’t the tolls, it was the lines. Only so many cars could get through the toll point, and there was severe traffic jams. That’s why the government wanted to purchase toll rights back, not because of jealousy.”
“Someone wants to open a store and asks for your investment. The contract says that they’ll give you 3 years of profits in return for your investment. And 7 months later, they open a second store right next to the first one to steal your business. Who’s right here?”
“Just saw a really popular Xiao Hongshu screenshot on my front page, basically about how the New York subway is going to spend 100 million USD to install platform barriers in three subway stations, to prevent more and more platform injuries. Their ultimate goal is to spend 6.5-7 billion USD to install these in 128 stations (out of a total of 472 in New York).
(I don’t want to call it a platform gate, because it doesn’t really deserve the name. It’s just a really shabby roadside fence sort of thing put on the edge of the platform.)
Like, this crap. You’re telling me it costs 100 million to install these in three stations, and it takes 7 billion to install them in 128 stations??
I was flabbergasted when I saw this news. Even though I enjoy all kinds of fucked up news from American every day, as someone who grew up in a socialist society, I still instinctively went, “There’s no way!”
So, as a good skeptic, I looked up the keywords on New York’s news media, and found out it was actually true! Just these couple of slabs, just installed in three stations as a trial, actually cost 100 million USD!! And it’s going to cost 7 billion to finish the whole project!!
I found out this was actually old news from two months ago. I don’t know why it’s getting so many reposts lately. This supposed “Subway safety gate trial program” has been in the works from 3 years ago, and after a lot of sidetracking and waffling, they finally installed them in one station in January of this year.
A local media gave this a really good headline, “We now have a better-than-nothing subway platform barrier.”
But I feel like what’s the most laughable and ridiculous about this to a Chinese audience isn’t even the budget. It’s watching the citizens get interviewed on this. Despite this being something that’s only good for normal passengers (from my point of view, despite how expensive it is and how much kickbacks there must be), a lot of people are strongly against it!
You know why?
These people feel that not that many people get injured on subway platforms (they’re saying this, not me). Spending such a fortune on so few lives is too costly. This money should be spent on giving stipends to poor people or providing healthcare help for people with mental problems (they think these accidents are mostly caused by people with mental health problems, and these people are usually poor. So basically, it’s all because the government isn’t spending enough money on helping poor or sick people.)
Basically, in the eyes of the locals, money can only be spent on one thing. If it’s spent on platforms, then it won’t get spent on poor people or the mentally ill. They don’t dare to, literally do not dare to, imagine or demand that the government both protect their safety in subway stations and also eliminate poverty and also increase healthcare spending. They have to pick one option or the other.
And as for the news, they used a line from a passenger who’s constantly worried that he’ll be pushed onto the tracks, “I don’t care. So long as a subway station has these, I promise you, I’m definitely gonna be standing behind it.”
Just a little bit of American culture shock.”
Comments say, “Another news headline I’d like to share from yesterday, “Four people were struck and killed by subway trains in 24 hours.””
“The typical American whataboutism and two-party system has crippled people’s ability to think.”
“Are those things pictured it? It’s so shabby. Whichever company got this order is making it out like bandits.”
“A Chinese international student wanted to become an American citizen and was refused. She got so mad that she burned down a church, and got sentenced to 8.5 years.”
OP attaches screenshots of the Chinese news media’s report on this, which says this happened in Alabama in 2021. She caused 25,000 USD’s worth of damage to a church with 192 years of history. No lives were lost.
Comments say, “I’m just curious, did she pay to study abroad herself, or did the government pay her tuition?”
“Just burn down the prison they send you to and get sentenced to life. Your wish will be granted then.”
“Don’t come back. China doesn’t take in trash.”
“Get reincarnated as an only child in Beijing:
You’re born at 0 years old, a girl. Your parents are graduates of famous universities in Beijing and make substantial money. Your grandpa is a retired soldier with Third Rank Honours, and is currently working as a clerk [in the government]. Your grandma is an educated woman with a high school degree, and used to work as an accountant. Now, she is retired and spends her time gardening at home. You also have great-grandparents, who worked as waiters back when they were young, and did all the worst, more tiresome jobs to make a living. Your maternal grandpa is a professor at a famous university, and gets 10K+ in social security every month. Your maternal grandma is the daughter of a businessman, and likes to sew you little tiger hats.
Everyone is delighted by your birth. Your family has at least 10 million+ in real estate assets, a solid middle class background.
At 1 years old, you mom rocks you as you listen to Beethoven or Mozart, but you cry every time because you prefer pop. Your dad doesn’t smoke or drink, and will shave his beard so he can cuddle you.
At 2 years old, you’ve learned how to crawl. When you’re pulling your birthday divination, the whole family gathers around you. You pick up a pen, and your grandpa says, “It’s good for girls to study hard!”
At 3 years old, your grandma is cooking you mung bean soup in the yard. There are potholes in the brick ground, and you cry when you sprain your ankle, but slowly, you get used to it. Your grandpa will ride around with you on his bicycle, and you enjoy making the bell ring and filling the alleyway with ding dongs.
At 4 years old, you start kindergarten, and your mom and dad take you in the morning every day. Since the headmaster of kindergarten is your grandpa’s friend, you always get extra attention from the teachers.
At 5 or 6 years old, your dad signs you up for abacus and painting lessons at the kindergarten, and you have to go to the Youth Palace on Saturday to learn English. You hate it, because you’d rather stay home and watch cartoons. Your dad starts hiding the TV remote to protect your eyesight.
At 7 years old, you start primary school. Your school curriculum isn’t too hard, and you’re decently smart. You put up your hand to answer questions all the time, and all the teachers like you.
At 8 years old, you pass your first musical instrument exam. You’re only at level 2 right now, but you’ll keep working hard at it.
At 9 to 12 years old, you spend almost your whole weekend at the Youth Palace [a place kids go to pick up extracurriculars, usually some kind of instrument], with no time to relax. Four extracurriculars is exhausting. You don’t get to go to bed until 9PM every day. But as a lover of stories, you still hide in your blankets and read with a flashlight.
At 13 years old, you get into middle school because you have a school district house. A lot of neighbours tell you while chatting that girls have a hard time keeping up with classes once they get to middle school. Your grandpa and grandma argue back against them harshly. You’re their favourite granddaughter. Not to mention, your grandma is an educated woman too.
At 14 years old, you’re about to pass your Level 9 exam for your instrument. You can join a band. But high school entrance exams are coming up soon, so you have to set that aside for now. Your Chinese is great, usually coming in the top three in the whole district. Your maths and English aren’t bad either, usually getting 96+ or 100. You’re only a little weak in your selective subjects.
At 15 years old, you get into the magnet high school in your district with a 95%+ score, and you’ve become a high school student.
At 16 years old, you’re studying hard, and your parents tell you you can choose whatever selective subjects you want so long as you enjoy learning it.
At 17 years old, you pick history, geography, and politics because it’s easy to get points in those subjects when you’re from Beijing, so you can keep your total score around 580-600. But you have high standards for yourself, so you’re still not quite satisfied.
In your lifetime as a student, you’ve visited every tourist spot in Beijing, and seen all the museums and art galleries, and travelled to many provinces with your parents.
At 18 years old, you’re preparing for your college entrance exam…”
The blogger who wrote this post writes in the comment section, “This is a pretty good description of the typical life story of an average Beijing girl.”
Comments say, “Average? I was just remarking what a wonderful fairytale this is, and this is average to you? >: (“
“Oh my god, I legit thought this was a wish fulfilment power fantasy, but it’s actually OP’s true story? I feel like a clown.”
“As a Beijing native, I want to say that we have to admit that Beijing kids are the benefactors of our unfair educational system. But we also put a lot of effort into growing up, expanding our world view, getting good at our hobbies, so that we can be better off than most people. But these resources have never been split equally. You can’t use “everyone around me is the same” to prove that your life is just “ordinary”. This is a form of bullying. Sigh. I only understood this when I got older.”
“It’s true. I feel like the benefactors of an unfair system have the responsibility to bear being unfairly criticised and made fun of too.”
“A lot of people are hostile towards Beijing. And some are just venting their frustrations at their failure of a life, but sometimes, I totally understand it, because a lot of Beijing people come off really high and mighty and aloof. They don’t understand and can’t empathise with other people’s suffering and pain. This sort of assumed superiority is really trashy actually.”
I thought the birthday divination thing was a Korean custom? Is it something Korea picked up from China, or what?
Wait, what does being the CEO's son have to do with trying to screw OP?