03/20/24 - Reminds me how they’d add points to your grade in college if you donate blood.
“Just had a stiflingly awkward meal with my boyfriend in Yunnan.
Got some preserved ribs and a wild mushroom platter with my boyfriend in the old city in Lijiang, about 300 RMB. He let me order, and felt like it was kinda expensive after I was done ordering. And I was like, “Well, we’re here anyways, might as well try the local delicacies. It’s not like we eat like this every day.” And my boyfriend was like, “But it was just normal mushrooms though.” And I could tell he was upset.
I settled the bill on my own without letting him know. From the moment we started eating to when we finished, he told me off several times. That the Tibetan costume photos I took that morning were expensive. I paid for it myself, but he was still upset. I wanted to buy some jade, and he wouldn’t let me, not even if I was spending my own money. He said t was useless. He wouldn’t let me buy a silver bracelet either. He was telling me off about everything, even down to when I go to bathrooms, the whole way through dinner.
I just felt like he became so alien. He never used to be like this. He just suddenly got so stingy once we went on holiday. When we were done, he went to pay and found out I’d already paid for it. He looked really awkward that he scolded me so much, and I didn’t spend any of his money. I felt upset, so I walked by myself to the old city. He came after me and started kissing up again.
Sigh. What’s the point. I kind of want to abandon this relationship now.”
Comments say, “We go on vacation to enjoy ourselves. He’s not letting you enjoy yourself. Break up!”
“Never mind whether he’s stingy or not, you need to beware anyone who ruins your joy.”
“You’re not even married and he’s already after your money? I say he’s after your money because in his mind, that’s already you guys’ money, which might as well equal to his money. That’s why whenever you spend too much, he gets upset, as though you’re spending his money.”
“Once people have money, they become super naive. Two girls at my workplace started on maternity leave at almost the same time. Normally, they’d both be back at the end of May this year. I never thought that the richer of the two came back this month, without her boss mentioning anything, without anyone asking her to. She just voluntarily came back to work.
Everyone was really surprised. I honestly couldn’t figure out why, so I asked her, and she said it’s because the nanny takes care of the baby at home anyways so she has nothing to do. She just got bored.
I told her if she was bored, she could go on holiday or something. Even if she just laid in bed, it’s better than coming into work every day. And she said she dumped the baby with the nanny as soon as she was done and she’s been on holiday for several months already. She’s tired of it and wants to come back to work.
I honestly kind of choked on that.
The aftermath is, our boss ended up calling the other girl who was also on maternity leave, leaving hints all like, “If the other girl can come back, why can’t you?”
Because her family can’t afford nannies. Her husband’s mom isn’t even willing to come over to help out!
After that, almost all the pregnant girls at my work got affected. Before this, none of our bosses ever thought maternity leave could be adjustable. This case really gave them inspiration.
But the girl who started it all just honestly felt like life was too boring. She never thought that when a rich butterfly flutters its wings, it could turn into a storm in the nests of poor people.
I have nothing to say.”
Comments say, “Oh my god! Anyone else taking maternity leave like normal would be furious!”
“Fundamentally speaking, this is a problem with your boss. Some people are willing to voluntarily come back to work early, that’s their freedom. This is not an excuse for your boss to push workers taking their rightful leave to come back to work.”
“If she’s bored, she could try taking the kid herself >: (“
Under the hashtag #young man dead over 200 RMB kickback from blood donation centre, Lychee News reports, “19th of March, in Shanxi, there was a case of a 19-year-old boy who died after donating plasma 16 times in 8 months. The suspected company, Xinzhou Tiantan Biological Plasma Collection Corporation has suspended its operations in preparation for reform. A taskforce is in place to begin investigations. Lychee News investigated to discover that this plasma collection station’s official social media account has posted promotions such as, “New Year’s Event!” “Donate plasma to get red pockets and gifts!” “Bring a friend and get 200 RMB kick back!” and other posts suspected to be offering money for plasma and new donors. The father of the young victim Zhao Wei also said that every time his son went to donate plasma, not only would he receive 2-300 RMB, he would get a free ride to and from and a free lunch.
Comments say, “Reminds me how they’d add points to your grade in college if you donate blood.”
“What a fucking mess.”
“We donate blood for free, and the collection stations take it to sell for money.”
A blogger reposts a thread, that starts with OP saying, “Reposting this again, “In our societal stereotypes, we think that women are more likely to use sex to exchange for money or other benefits. And yet study shows that a much higher ratio of men have had sex for money than women. Among men born between 1990-1994, 22.3% of them have such a history.”
And the comment thread beneath goes, “Who are they selling to!? Who the hell is paying money to sleep with men!?”
“So, one out of every 5 men have sold their buttholes??”
“A ton of men want to sell themselves, and then they assume that everyone else thinks the same way, and gets all envious that women have a pussy. They wish they could get one themselves.”
“I love romance novels and TV shows, but I would never sleep with a man. They seem so yucky.”
“So at least 25% of people are gay?”
“It’s an entirely online survey, all snowball sampling, almost everyone participating was a young woman or someone linked by a young woman. The sample errors here make my head spin. And there’s a stratification at the end and makes everything worse. This study is basically no better than any clickbait-y online survey.”
“I’ve seen this study. It was 0.9 points, 4th section [I’m just translating literally here. I’m not a scientist, I have no idea what the hell I’m doing], like you would never be able to graduate if you put this up as your thesis. The statistical analysis and basic logic is full of holes. I don’t mind making a bigger deal out of this, but OP might. After all, this sort of stuff is basically scientific spam. Who knows what’s lying behind it.”
“Are houses going to become a disadvantage instead of an advantage?
My friend’s kid is 31-years-old. His parents paid the down payment for a house for him, and he still owes the bank 7-8 million RMB. He’s got a government worker girlfriend, and my friend is very happy with her. They were talking about marriage as of last autumn. But in the end, she broke up with him.
And his mortgage is the primary reason. If they had to pay back that much mortgage every month, then they would have to live on only a couple of grand. The girl just felt like, “I have a great job. If I marry you, it might look like you have a house and a car, but none of it is under my name. Your money is only just enough to cover the mortgage payments, so all of my income will become family expenses. If we got divorced, I’d have spent my money on this relationship for nothing.
The problem is, this house is also my friend’s biggest family asset. My friend is a civil servant too, and has a 20 million RMB unit in Shenzhen. That’s her entire family’s savings. There’s no way she’d add this girl’s name to it. She’s got her own considerations. If she adds this girl’s name, the situation might become, “If you get divorced, you walk away with half this house.” She’d get screwed.
So they’ve fallen into a stalemate. I thought for sure I’d be going to her kid’s wedding this year, and I even made fun like, “I’m so close to your mom, I’ve sure gotta pack a big red pocket.” And it all ended in a break up. This time we met up in Shenzhen, she asked me, “So I can’t buy my kid a house, and I can’t not buy my kid a house. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
As the mother of a son and a future MIL myself, I’ve kind of given up on whether my son married at all in the future, just based on all the dating stories of the kids of my older friends. Everyone’s got their own shit to deal with. I will still buy a house for my kid. That way, if he wants to get married, his wife won’t have to pay the mortgage. But I’ll be torn too—do I add her name to a 20 million RMB house? If 1-2 years after marriage, they don’t get along, then there’s a risk she’ll take half of it in divorce. How would I deal with this problem?
A couple of days ago, I was eating with a classmate, and she said that she’d bought a unit for her daughter too. This problem is pretty easy to solve. Either everyone has a house already, or people get married first and buy a house together. If your son marries my daughter, then this will never be a problem.
Before I left, he gave me some supplements and told me to watch out on my house, that she didn’t suggest our kids marry each other because she’s after my estate. She just thinks I would be easy to get along with as a MIL. If her daughter married to my family, she wouldn’t need to worry about anything. And I just felt like, if my son marries the daughter of my good friend or classmate, then I wouldn’t worry about adding her name to my unit at all. With our relationship, there’s nothing to worry about.
Do you mind this sort of stuff on the dating market?”
Comments say, “I feel like it’s ever more obvious why our ancestors taught us to only marry within our own class. It’s best to marry into a family you know thoroughly.”
“While housing prices are rising, it’s an advantage to own a house. If housing prices are falling and you had to leverage everything you own to afford it, then it’s really not.”
“My roommate’s kiddo is 5-years-old. I’ve been trying to talk him into having a second baby, so our babies can get engaged as soon as they’re born.”
“The worst part about having a child to take care of you in old age isn’t having the child in and of itself.
It’s that you have to support two generations of people and raise them up, to get your ideal retirement.
Because people in the modern day live very long lives. You have a very good chance of making it to 90.
At that point, even if you had a kid by 30, they’ll be 60. They’ll probably also be old and weak. They can’t run around and take care of you.
That means, you have to raise at least three generations of people, so that your 30-40-year-old grandchildren who are healthy and strong can help you.
So basically:
You gotta buy a house and marry.
You have a buy a house and marry off this 60-year-old brat.
You have to buy a house and marry off this 30-year-old brat.
You have to worry about three generations of people.
This is three mountains crushing down on you. It’s terrifying to even think about.
That explains why your parents push you to have kids so hard.
The pressure given by parents to have kids is enormous and terrifying in China.
It’s not for your own good. It’s entirely selfish.
They know they’re old. They’re about to lose their ability to take care of themselves. And you won’t be able to take care of them.
So you have to have a grandchild to take care of them.
And you can’t rely on your kid to take care of you. You have to push him to make you a grandkid.
This is the endless loop of descendants.”
Comments say, “My dad took care of my grandma. I have no idea, so my dad doesn’t have to take care of any kids, so he could focus on his dad. At the same time, I’ve been educating my dad that the reason I don’t have kids is precisely so that he could have a comfy end of life. I’m sacrificing myself to take care of him. So my dad’s never pushed for me to get married lol.”
“But in reality, I’ve never seen grandkids take care of grandparents. It’s all parents doing it themselves or ponying up the money.”
“It’s so true. My grandma got cancer, and all his children and grandchildren took shifts to take care of him. The one with work go to work, the ones who are retired take the night shifts, and his grandson in university can take night shifts too.”
“Why is China so involuted? Why is it so bad in China? It’s all Chinese people screwing Chinese people.
Telling you guys a really honest story.
Right when China opened up its doors, a lot of foreign businesses invested in China and opened factories. And when they came, they strictly followed and enforced Chinese laws. 8-hour work day, three shifts a day, [a term here I’m not sure how to translate “四班三倒“, describing a schedule where you’d work morning shift (8AM to 4PM) one day, then afternoon shift (4PM to midnight) the second day, then night shift (midnight to 8PM) the third day, then get a day off).
Then these foreign companies’ manager training classes created a batch of Chinese managers to replace the original team, and everything changed. Eight hours per shift eventually became 12 hours per shift, two shifts a day. It’s completely ruined the point of hiring these managers to lower stress and raise efficiency for the workers.”
Comments say, “Every single person breaking labour laws are our own citizens.”
“An 8-hour work day lets your boss live in a mansion and drive a Benz in China. But he’s not satisfied. He wants his son to be able to live in an American mansion and drive a Ferrari, and that’s how 996 was invented.” [9AM to 9PM, 6 days a week.]
“If the government can ban all tutoring, they’re perfectly able to enforce labour laws too. But they don’t. Why? Because this is an unspoken subsidy.”