01/31/24 - FAQ Questions Time!
[It’s that time of the month again! If there’s any context you feel like you’re missing, or if there’s just something you’ve always wanted to know about China, feel free to submit your questions here! I’ll try to answer them to the best of my ability! Thank you guys for all your support! And I do need to give you all a warning that next month, from the 16th to the 18th, I’ll be at a friend’s wedding. I’ll do my best to maintain updates through that time, but if I get too busy, I might replace a daily update with a fun anecdote from my life that I’ll write up beforehand instead!]
“My daughter is in 9th grade. Is it appropriate to give her 100 RMB when she goes out?
Some background information, third-line city in Jiangsu, own a house, a car, and a commercial property, no debt. Only one child, not too much income, only about 150K a year for my family. I don’t know if that is an appropriate amount of spending money.
A lot of people mentioned buying clothes, but she’s not going out to buy clothes. We buy all her clothes and living necessities. (If she sees an outfit she really wants, I totally give her the money to buy that). We live in the centre of town, so she rides her bike everywhere. It’s about a 15 minute ride to the commercial street or food street.”
Reply: “No, really, what can you even buy with 100 RMB? I’m in 9th grade too, and all you can get for 100 RMB is a cup of boba tea, a bowl of noodles, and maybe a trinket. I wouldn’t even dare go get hotpot with my classmates, because I might not be able to afford it. You can’t afford shit on 100 RMB, and she’s at the age where she’s going to want to look good.”
Comments say, “Dude, you can only spend 100 RMB when you go out, but you can’t just have 100 RMB on you when you go out.”
“Wow, people really think they have a right to their parents money.”
“As a salaryman, I think it’s a big fucking deal when I spend a whole 100 RMB on myself in a single day. I mean, admittedly, I’m stingy as fuck, but I make about as much money as OP, and I think 100 RMB is a lot of money. (It’s not enough to have a business dinner with colleagues, but it seems plenty for a middle school kid.”
“A young friend asked me, “There’s an opportunity to go to Africa to work. Should I go or not?”
He was born after 1995, an only child, went to a decent university and got a Master’s Degree from a shit-tier college in England. Comes from a third-line city and lives in a second-line state capital right now. Makes about 150K a year, which is just enough to pay for rent and food.
And if he went to Africa, then he’ll make 450K a year, including room and board, with two return tickets to China paid for by the company every year, plus various living stipends per month. He has to sign on for at least two years, and for the first 6 months, they won’t actually give him his pay, and will instead give the money to him in one lump sum when his contract ends.
He’s very hesitant about it, and his family is pretty ambivalent too. They’re worried about the danger, but they’ll respect whatever decision he makes. He’s not married, but he has a long-term girlfriend, and he doesn’t want to break up with her. He admits that he doesn’t have a lot of ambitions, and just wants to take care of his family.
I told him to go. You all talk about how involuted China is, and the only way to break through that involution is to go to the frontier. I grew up reading European (particularly British) novels, and the best way out for young men was to go to India or Africa.
If you don’t do well, you’ll stay single all your life. If you do do well, you’ll come back with plenty money to get a wife.
Right now, in China, you don’t have a lot of great opportunities, and 150K isn’t nearly enough to achieve stability.
I don’t really think young men should become civil servants. What’s the point? Look at the people who made it—they’re all trying to get second jobs. Worse, what if you haven’t even made it, and the government’s already changed policies, and now you’re just fucked?
If that’s the case, you might as well try out other possibilities. Instead of wasting time flaming women in China, fighting about bride price and stuff, you might as well go out and make money. At least you can potentially achieve happiness doing that.
And even if you don’t, at least you’ve saved enough to pay bride price.
You’re young right now, so your idea of “taking care of family” is just sitting around, keeping them company. But in reality, taking old people to hospitals, taking children to school, keeping your family safe, all of that takes actual gold.
If you’re really worried about the danger, why not leave some sperm at a bank? I’m not joking, I’m entirely serious. Freezing sperm is just the same as freezing eggs—it leaves your roots behind.”
Comments say, “Nah, he won’t stay single his whole life. White people’s last way out is to marry a coloured woman, like Van Gogh marrying Tahiti. Even his priest looked down on him for that and introduced to him a local woman with a farm, because Van Gogh, “is a white man after all.””
“An only child born after 95? I don’t suggest he go. He’s too young. I suggest people who are already married and already been beaten up by society and have a ton of social experience to go. Like me, I’m at that age now, I’ve got children, and I desperately need more money, and I’ve seen plenty of society. I’m the best for hunting for gold in Africa. If I make it big, I can take other people into the business. And if I don’t make it big, at least I can get away from my life for a while. Only children born after 95 just haven’t suffered enough yet.”
“Any sisters out there who want to keep their son all to themselves? He gets so annoyed when I ask to take photos with him now T_T
He was so clingy as a baby too. He always needed mommy to be around. But as he’s slowly growing up and getting his own friends and picking up his own hobbies, I suddenly found that I’m being left out of his life more and more now. When he graduated from primary school, a girl in his class made a cut of a video of his moments in school. And at that moment, a thought flashed across my brain, “Someone’s trying to take my son away from me! That’s way too early!”
He’s half a basketball athlete and has been participating in all kinds of competitions, and although I’m super proud of all his fans on the sidelines, just imagining him bringing a girlfriend home and being all lovey-dovey with her in front of me makes me feel so jealous!
Anyone out there who feels the same way, or am I being weird?”
Comments say, “The life of a woman who treats her husband like her son and her son like her husband.”
“When are we gonna legalise mother-son marriage?”
“Please keep your son locked at home so he doesn’t ruin other people’s daughters.”
“A super inspiring story happened.
I’ve got a young friend who married a trustfund brat—no, that’s not the inspirational part. Let me first cover my definition of a “trustfund brat”. I know everyone has a different definition, but to me, everyone who doesn’t have to work a day in their life and doesn’t run any businesses and just lives off of their inheritance and it’s still enough to cover all their hobbies, they count as a trustfund brat. And she married someone like that.
It was all going well. The trustfund brat was a pretty decent guy. He’s into cars, dogs, and Japanese food. But since he hasn’t worked a day in his life, he’s got tons of free time. So shortly after my friend had her kid, she discovered he was flirting with a Ferrari sales agent. He’s a VIP customer, and he owns a Maybach and several race cars.
Ferrari sales agents are completely different from Hermes sales agents. People who sell luxury cars are all super persuasive models, and they’re all there to pick up guys too. So my friend’s husband had just bought a bag for this Ferrari sales agent, spent a couple dozen grand on her, and haven’t even held her hand yet before he was caught. Her in-laws were all trying to beg her to forgive him since they have a child already, not to mention that nothing really happened, they only flirted a little. They offered to buy her a bag too, buy her a car, so long as she lets it go.
My friend thought about it and just couldn’t eat this spoonful of shit. So she gave up her baby, got a divorced, and left with nothing.
She hasn’t worked for several years since her marriage, so she tried to reenter the workforce. Moved back in with her parents and even sold a lot of her stuff to start over.
She started a livestream selling stuff, and in her very first two videos, she sold several thousand of every item, until the supplier ran out of goods. For a beginner, this was basically a miracle. She’s truly blessed by God. After just a few months, she can make six figures in sales every videos, by herself. There’s no professional team behind her.
What does this mean? Her husband was only getting in her way of making money.”
Comments say, “Am I getting deja vu? Why do I feel like I’ve seen this post before? I had to double check the date and everything.”
“What does she even sell?” [OP responds, “trinkets and stuff, all cheap things.”]
“Is she in China?”
An instagram post that reads, “You dad is installing air conditioners for people outside in 40C heat. You’re wrapped up in a blanket at home, with the AC on at 20C. No matter how much time you’ve got on your hands, you’ll never pick up a book and study.”
And the two replies beneath, “Your suffering wasn’t brought about by her, but her suffering was brought about by you. You could’ve just chosen to not have a kid. If you chose to have a kid, then shut the fuck up.”
“I don’t know why, but parents always want their kids to suffer. They can’t stand watching their kids be comfortable. If their kid is too comfy, they’ll keep nagging at them.”
“Went to the nearby supermarket and found that the fresh bread display was taken down. I asked, and it turns out, that 80% of the people who lived in the local development were foreigners, and now only 10% remained, and they weren’t getting enough business anymore. The German and French schools don’t care about nationality anymore and will admit anyone who pays. Just heard the news that United Airlines is going to cancel 68% of America to China flights start from the 1st of March.
Everything looks the same, but it’s all changed.”
Comments say, “Native Americans: There’s tons of foreigners in North America though!”
“The cancelled flights are just what they applied for beforehand and didn’t get approved. It’s not actually cancelling any existing flights they’re doing right now.”
“I don’t get it. Does China need foreigners or something?”
The original version of a famous dance on the Chinese internet called 科目三 (Kemu San, subject three, referring to the third round of a driver’s test where you have to drive the car around. No, I don’t know why it’s called that).
Comments say, “This version doesn’t look sexy at all! He’s so flexible!”
“I don’t mind breakdancing at all, but Kemu San’s choreography really is ugly as fuck. It’s ugly no matter who dances it. I don’t get it at all.”
“Went from doubtful to amazed. He’s so incredibly smooth!”
“Lately, a professor who’s been in the system [that is, working as a civil servant] for many years discovered a strange phenomenon. The most hardworking people in the system are the trustfund brats and children of important politicians. The poorer the family you come from, the more of a slacker you are at work. This completely goes against most people’s traditional ideas.
We used to think that the trustfund brats and second generation politicians would definitely be arrogant and incompetent, doesn’t answer to anyone, screws around at work. And the children of farmers would tread carefully, work hard, and be more down to earth.
But reality is the other way around.
Most of my friends have said that it’s true for their office too. The richer someone’s family is, the more of a background they have, the more hardworking they are—go to meetings every day, sort materials, listen to lectures, join training programs, fill in all kinds of forms…they can’t get enough of it.
And the more rural and poor someone’s background is, the more passive they are at work, loves to complain, dodges meeting and training as much as they can. Most seem to have entered early retirement.
The reason is simple too. For the former, when they work hard, they actually get something out of it. The positive feedback means they want to work even harder. And for the latter, no matter how hard they work, there won’t be any results, so they’re settled for the status quo.”
Comments say, “I’m the latter, and not only is there no results for my hard work, but the more I do, the more likely it is that I’ll become the scapegoat.”
“It’s normal. If you have no power and money, then becoming a section leader is your ceiling. And even if you made it, you’re still a bottom-tier civil servant. No matter how hard you work, you’re just another expendable material for the trust fund brats.”
“The trust fund brats work hard because it’s an unskippable cutscene.”
“Diet ramblings:
Went to Sam’s Club yesterday and bought a package of boiled shrimp, the kind with a thick layer of lettuce on the bottom and a layer of peeled shrimp on top, plus four slices of lemon and a thing of sweet spicy sauce.
Just looking at the shrimp, it doesn’t look like enough food, right?
Even this morning, taking it out of the fridge for breakfast, I was naively thinking, “This is just two bites of food. Even if I’m dieting, it’s not enough. I’ve gotta make another two eggs, right?”
And I only managed to get through 2/3rd of it before I was full to the point that I can’t eat another bite.
This is the first time in my life I’ve really experienced just how much protein is in shrimp. Shrimp is awesome, guys. It’s really awesome.”
Comments say, “Jesus, you have no appetite at all. I’m so jealous. I buy three bags of 250 grams of shrimp and after I’m done, I can still eat a package of instant noodles.”
“I’ve ate two pounds of shrimp in one sitting before.”
“When I was dieting, I’d buy bulk shrimp and split it up into 8 shrimp per package, and I can get full to the point that I’m sick.”
“How do you feel about Chinese universities’ dorm system?
To borrow someone else’s comment, “It’s the unique product of poor living conditions in East Asia.”
Simply put, I get that universities don’t have it easy either. I realise it’s unrealistic to provide every student with a single room or a doubles room. But you have to recognise that yourself too, that this is the product of compromise. Don’t brainwash yourself into thinking it’s anything else.
People live in collective dorms because they can’t help it. Don’t go around saying, “University students need to go through some hardship.” “Are you here to study or are you here to vacation?”
China has a unique phenomenon around the world: the people who are suffering at the bottom of society will voluntarily, sincerely argue on behalf of their oppressors for free. That’s pretty funny.
Look at the dormitory system. Normal people would feel annoyed, then understand the situation, and settle for it.
But how do some people think?
“Why don’t you think about it from the school’s point of view?” “You need to look at the big picture.” “Are you Chinese or not?”
Don’t say I’m just making it up. There’s tons of this type of person in real life, maybe even among your room mates.
To go back to the original question, are collective dorms reasonable or not? Of course not! Even if God himself questioned me today, I’d still tell him it’s unreasonable as fuck!
I’ve emphasised before that this is an act of compromise. People can afford singles rooms, so they have to cram 4-6 people into a rat hole.
If you recognise that, then everything else is easy to explain. All the conflict that arises is because of this unreasonable decision.
To assign each person a bed and a desk is already below the minimum required living space for human beings. Even serfs in feudal societies or sweatshop workers have better footage per capita than university students.
Squeezing 6 people into a single room goes against human nature. If you game a little bit too late into the night, you’ll be disturbing other people’s sleep. If you let your alarm ring in the morning, you’ll waking others up. If one person snores, the rest of the dorm won’t get to sleep.
You can’t demand that no one snores, no one has an alarm, and everyone goes to bed precisely on time. Or rather, if you do demand that, then your school may as well be a prison.
In summary, you can live in a dorm and understand that it’s unreasonable living conditions, but there’s no better alternative so you have to settle.
But you can’t figure that “hardship is good for developing character.” You can’t feel grateful.
University students shouldn’t have to go through hardship. Nobody should have to go through hardship.
Being grateful for collective dorms is no different than being grateful for 996 work cycles. [9AM to 9PM, 6 days a week.]
Comments say, “Honestly, as the second biggest economy in the world with rapidly improving GDP, why do we still even have collective dorms? India is a lot poorer than us, and they don’t squeeze 6-8 people into a room.”
“The problem is, these dorms are only about 1000 RMB a year? If you have money, you can rent an apartment. If you’re from a normal family, then absolutely feel grateful. This shit isn’t cheap in Europe or America either. Even if you rented an apartment in China, it’d cost around 1000 RMB a month, right?”
“What a load of bullshit. I’ve got a simple solution to your problem: pay money. University dorms are a social safety net. They ensure that students who are working part time and barely make enough money to eat have somewhere to stay. It was never designed for you to be comfortable. You’ll be lucky if you can find a place to rent for less than 2-3K RMB around any decent universities. Why not go rent? Do you not like it?”
There is often a mention of ‘aunties’ in your posts. What does that mean? Any older woman? A poorly dressed older woman? An annoying older woman? And are older men referred to as ‘uncles’?
Oh man I've been saving some questions for this!
1. What does PUA mean? I thought it meant Pick Up Artist but I keep seeing it in contexts that make me doubt that assumption.
2. What is the most interesting difference between the kinds of posts you're seeing/translating here, and the kinds of posts you see on American social media? (Interesting by your standards, that is.)
3. You mentioned once that your dad saw oncoming economic issues and very presciently chose to GTFO (or just get some family members about, I don't remember exactly). (I think this was in the big post you made explaining real estate in China.) I'd love to know more details about that, if you're comfortable sharing!