01/29/24 - Out of the kindness of my heart, I pushed down my disgust to explain to her what she had.
Question: “What secret can you never tell anyone?”
Reply: “One year, a young couple moved in across the hall from me with a 2.5-year-old daughter. Since my son was 2.5 too, they often played with each other, so I kind of got to know her parents.
Her dad supposedly worked in programming at some big company, and is super busy all the time. My nanny says that she often sees him heading out before 7AM every morning and not getting back until 9PM.
Her mom is a full time housewife taking care of her.
For a while, her mom loved to send her to my place, saying that she wanted to play with my son. As it for more frequent, my nanny started getting upset. After all, it’s a lot more work taking care of two kids than one, and she’s not paying my nanny a cent.
One day, she sent her daughter to my house again, and the two kids played for a while when my son started demanding to go outside. So my nanny took her daughter back to her place and had to knock quite a while before she answered. She had that look on her face like she’d just had sex and her clothes were all in disarray.
My nanny came back to whisper to me that my neighbour wasn’t a good sort of woman.
Curiosity killed the cat. Once my nanny and I started paying attention, we were shocked. While the little girl’s dad is away, all kinds of men show up at her house. I’ve seen tall and short, fat and thin.
Once I knew, every time I saw the girl’s dad, this shy, kind-looking man who’s always busy working and making money, I’d feel bad for him.
One day, I was at work when my neighbour found me. I was still working at the hospital at the time, and while randomly chatting, my nanny let it slip to her once that I was a doctor, working at so-and-so hospital.
She said that she had mouth ulcers that wouldn’t get better, none of the medicine she tried worked, so she wanted to ask about whether there’s prescription meds for mouth ulcers.
She opened her mouth and showed me, and I saw a ton of sores all in her mouth. I asked her if they hurt, and she said no. Remembering all those men coming in and out of her house, I realised this might not be simple mouth ulcers.
I prescribed some tests for her and had her go draw some blood. Just as she was heading out, she came back and said that she had a rash on her back too and wanted some medicine for it.
She pulled up her shirt and shoed me her back, and I saw a thick mass of red dots all over her back, to the point that I sucked in a breath in shock.
I asked her if there’s hard knots in her nether regions, and she said that she felt some about pea-sized last time she showered. She got some medicine and now it’s better, it’s went away.
By this point, I was pretty sure what she had and hurried her off to her blood test.
A few days later, the results came back. Thankfully, she didn’t have AIDs. She had stage 2 syphilis.
She’s not that unlucky.
Out of the kindness of my heart, I pushed down my disgust to explain to her what she had, how she got it, what’s going to happen, and how to go about treating it. And I told her to go to the STI department and take her medicine on time.
But every time I’d see this woman, I’d feel disgusted like I just swallowed 500 dead flies. Like, I really wanted to throw up.
Sure, I’m a doctor, and I’ve seen all kinds of patients, and all kinds of fucked up disease and stories. But she’s the only person I know in real life who has these dirty diseases.
My husband warned me and my nanny countless times, “Never tell this woman’s husband! Outsiders have no place to comment on family affairs! We’re just neighbours with them!” My husband said that if it got out that his wife was cheating on him and got dirty diseases as a result of it, his face would be utterly gone. We need to get as far away from this kind of drama as possible.
So carrying this world-ending gossip with me, I kept watching this woman’s husband go to work every day, earning money to support his wife and kid like a dumbass.
I was going to go crazy holding it in, and I had to persuade my nanny not to go spreading the news around our development.
Finally, after the better part of a year, real estate prices came to a peak in our city and we sold our house.
The day we moved over to the new house, both my nanny and I both blocked that woman and deleted her off of our contact list.
But I’ll never be able to tell anyone about her drama.
Good news is, we bought that house for 700K and sold it for 2 million, got out of the market when the prices were the highest.”
“Tokyo really has a pretty low concentration of beauties. Everyone says that there’s tons of pretty girls in super fancy places, like Shanghai’s Anfu Street, Wukang Street, or Nanjing’s West Street.
But Japan doesn’t have streets like this. Even in department stores and french restaurants in Ginza or whatever, you can’t find any women that make you light up.
Maybe this has to do with Japanese women’s styles.
They always have the same wet-looking fringe, wearing really harmless gentle clothes or cute fashion, like they’re trying to kiss up. They always maintain a very conservative and homely appearance. They’re not confident or free, so they don’t look pretty.
The prettiest Japanese woman I’ve seen is Akana Lika from Tokyo Love Story. She’s got an Asian face, but very western vibes. She’s not just beautiful because of her face, but the sense of freedom she carries in her soul, her passion.
She will actually throw her whole self into loving Kanji, but she’ll never tie Kanji’s shoes for him. But Satomi is the kind of woman who’d actually kneel down.
There’s pretty things all over Japanese streets.
But wifely fashion ruins beauty.”
Comments say, “You’re right, most Japanese women are super harmless-looking. Their makeup is so restrained because they’re trying to be professional when they’re serving customers. You should learn the core of this kind of makeup. It’ll help you get more successful at your career!”
“This wifely fashion really ruins all vibes a woman has going for her.”
“Once OP goes there, there’ll be beauties that light up people’s eyes.”
A compilation of photos showing men, “While you’re dating them vs after you marry them. Men sure are fickle creatures. Time isn’t just a slaughter knife, sometimes, it’s also hair loss gel.”
Comments say, “Look at Lee Seung-hyun. He hasn’t changed in 20 years. You just gotta have some amount of self-control.”
”It’s not that men have a short flowering period, it’s that most men have no standards for their own looks. Most women can’t accept themselves getting out of shape, so they’ll control what they eat and pick out outfits and wear makeup. But Chinese men have almost no standards for their looks, because traditional culture says that there’s no need for men to be good-looking. That it’s sissy behaviour. Men need to be unkempt. It’s normal for middle-aged men to be fat.”
“I’ve got a friend who wanted to date me about ten years back. I hesitated back then, because he really was goddamn hot at 18 years old. Over 180cm, big eyes, dark brows, tall nose, a very textbook hot guy. But he’d only just graduated from uni 10 years ago and he was about 80kg or so? A little chubby, so it was starting to affect his looks. I figured that if he got on a diet, I’d take him. And now, just last year, he officially weighs three times as me.”
“New Years is coming up, everyone, be careful of dating traps.
A lot of your distant relatives are actually using girls as favours to maintain connections with. If it doesn’t work out, they’ll say you were too proud and never taught any better by your parents. If it did work out, they’d praise the guy for being such a catch and make sure the guy owed them a favour.
Every end-of-year dating event, women are a piece of meat that everyone wants a bite of, whether they’re divorced, in debt, still in divorce court, gay, sterile, or whatever. And men and women’s parents have completely different mindsets. No matter how successful a girl is, her parents always think, “We’re happy so long as someone wants her.” No matter how shitty a man, his parents always think, “My son is the best in the world, he can date whichever girl he wants.”
Of course, maybe I’ve just only come across shitty situations. But I’m just here to give out a warning to all my sisters out there.”
Comments say, “My biological aunt introduced me to a guy with a 10-year-old son. Like, fucking thank you, I guess???”
“My uncle’s son introduced a 40+-year-old man to my other uncle’s daughter. You gotta know that she’s only 20-years-old. And that man was my uncle’s son’s boss.”
“This is why I never date through my relatives.”
“Honestly, I feel like most men’s ultimate dream is just to recreate his original family: a mother who’ll unconditionally love him and encourage him and take care of him and forgive him. A sister who helps him out financially. All of his interactions with his date is just copying how he interacts with his female family members at home. No matter how many girlfriends he goes through, he’s ultimately only looking for someone to stick into the mold of his mother.
Unless he can completely separate himself from his family, cut himself off from his closest family members, and build a completely brand new lifestyle and interact with the world in a new way, he’ll just be repeating the same things endlessly.
And why would women ever want to play along with this mode? Because they want to escape their families so badly. So they squeeze themselves into the mold of someone else’s family to seek warmth. One doesn’t want to leave, one desperately wants to run away. Unconsciously, they multiply, birth, live, and become generation upon generation of patriarchal families, where everything is built from the man’s point of view.”
Comments say, “I think that both men and women need to get away from their original family if they don’t want their marriage to be a copy paste of their parents’. It’s all the same.”
“Li Jian’s [famous singer] said, “You want to find a girlfriend to comfort your soul? What duty does someone else have to take care of your feelings?” After I became an adult and started interacting with men, I feel like all they’re looking for in a marriage is a handy, life-long tool: physically, mentally, lifestyle-wise. That’s why I have less and less interest in men.”
“Escaping from their families by marrying seems to be the only way some girls can think of get free, but it’s just getting out of the frying pan and into the fire. Men have been enjoying thousands of years of privilege and were spoiled rotten growing up. All they want to do is take advantage of and exploit people, whether emotionally or financially. You have to prioritise yourself if you don’t want to be eaten up. It’s important to love yourself.”
“Going back to the topic of bride prices, there’s actually an even more awkward point that men need to figure out among themselves first.
A certain portion of men are particularly ungrateful bastards. If he marries a woman that doesn’t ask for any bride price, then in his heart, he thinks she was cheap. She’s easy. He’ll humiliate this woman, curse out her family, bully her and trample all over her. Basically, doing everything he can to make let this cheap, easy bitch think too highly of herself.
To in order to prevent themselves from getting trapped in this situation, bride price has become a morality test for women.
That is, if a man is willing to pay a bride price, then at least he’s someone who respects societal rules and is relatively dependable. And if a man isn’t willing to pay bride price…well, we all know what those men are like.
So, men can either find these assholes and kill them, or else track down those men in the workplace who think girls are useless and abort theirs. They can pick whichever option they want.
Oh, they don’t want either and want this to all be women’s fault?
Okay, stay single then.”
Comments say, “It’s true. Bride price has risen to 300-400K where I live, and nobody beats their wife anymore, and the in-laws are all super polite too. Sometimes, it’s even the MIL that takes care of the DIL. I don’t think it’s feminism, it’s just wife rights. But if their son marries an out of state woman, everyone is like, “My son is awesome, so we don’t care if he gets a divorce. Worse case, we’ll just find another cheap woman from out of state.”
“That’s just human nature, nothing you can do about it. If you guy an outfit from the department store for five figures, you’d never toss it in the trash even if it’s horribly uncomfortable to wear. But if you buy clothes for two-figures on a roadside stall or website or something, you might toss it into the trash after a single wear.”
“We’ve got super high bride price where I live, but one of my friends married her boyfriend out of love for just 10K in bride price. Then later her, her husband told her, “I bought you.””
say single -> stay single