01/21/24 - He told me to go to his house, and take out the left over spicy duck neck in his fridge, and bring it to him.
A question, “How come Japanese people eat so much sashimi but don’t get parasites, even though they don’t add anything to it except soy sauce?”
The top-voted reply is: “Let’s take a look at hospitals.
Chengdu and Chongqing’s hospitals are famous for their proctology, mostly treating white tourists, and secondarily treating out of state tourists from the rest of China. The reason is, white people are a lot worse at handing spicy food than other races. Even out of state Chinese people need to see a doctor for haemorrhoids after eating some spicy hot pot, not to mention Anglo Saxons who’ve never tasted defeat at the hands of capsaicin before.
Oh, by the way, haemorrhoids as a result of eating spicy food and colorectal surgery is completely different. You want a hospital that’s great at colorectal surgery, you still gotta look to the west.
In Yunnan, the hospitals are the best in the country at treating food poisoning, and take in tons of patients every year from both out of state and locals. These locals claim they can identify every kind of mushroom and then screw up. And as for out of state tourists…they definitely didn’t thoroughly cook their lurid bolete before eating.
Dongbei has the best orthopaedic surgeons in the country, especially for severe cases of broken bones and dislocations. It’s not that people there get in fights a lot (and true northern manly men like to fight by slapping each other in the face anyways). As China’s premier skiing spot, Dongbei’s ski resorts are absolutely packed very winter. And a lot of southern tater tots or northern sweet potatoes will erroneously estimate their skill at skiing and go to the pro track and then…bam! They need to get a cast at the hospital.
Florida, Texas, and other red states have hospitals that are specialised in treating gun shot wounds, for no reason except that American redneck Anglo Saxons like to solve all their problems with their AR. You end up with one party dead and one party hospitalised all the time, and both of them probably need emergency treatment. After all, what if the dead one could be revived?
A lot of French hospitals are good at treating metallic poisoning, especially where they make vintage wine. A long, long time ago, the bronze tags for vintage wines would be nailed to the inside of the barrel. Normally speaking, wine won’t have any reaction to the tags, but if there’s any kind of bacteria in the wine at all, there’s a possibility it’ll turn into vinegar. And if vinegar comes in contact with bronze, then it’ll create a chemical reaction that’ll knock any connoisseur on his ass.
So, what am I trying to say? The specialty of local hospitals often indicates the most prevalent illness in an area.
And the most important part: coastal Japanese hospitals are the best at treating parasites.”
“Let’s talk about my wife. Since the 90s, her dad’s been driving Audis, living in a standalone house in an upscale neighbourhood. Her reward for passing her exams were dolls from Japan, that each cost what a normal person makes in a month. And she’s got a small mountain of them at home. Her dad hired a college professor to teach her to play piano.
And ever since she got a stepmom, in order to keep his new wife happy, her dad’s been sending her to various relatives’ houses to live with them, or even dumping her off on his friends. Constantly moving caused her grades to drop through the floor. But even so, her grades weren’t so bad. She just screwed up on her college entrance exam and only qualified for technical college. Her teachers felt it was a shame, and tried to talk her dad into buying her way into a proper university. Her dad didn’t give a shit. Forget about it, and just go to your technical college.
While she was in college, her dad would give her 400 RMB a month as living expenses. Then she transferred to a university on her own in her hometown. Cost of living was rising a lot in those days, and her dad said that since she’s in town now, she can save a lot of money by coming home to eat, so he didn’t give her any extra in living expenses at all. Her dad lived in a fancy mansion with his new wife and son, and they spent more on their food or property management fee or utilities or even their dog food than he spent on her.
As soon as she graduated college, he demanded that she move out right away. She only barely made enough money to pay rent and survive. And after all her relatives tried to talk sense into her dad, he agreed to lend her one of his houses to live in. But within a year, her aunt tried to persuade her dad that he had plenty of real estate, why not give his house to his daughter? He won’t ever have to bother with her again after that. And the result is, she got kicked out right away, and that house was sold to a relative of her step mom’s at a low price.
But my wife has never been someone to put up with shit. She’s seen through her dad a long time ago. She just relied on his support while she was still a student, so she was forced to deal with him. As soon as she graduated, she fought back no problem. She was told to leave, so she left. Never wasted her energy trying to talk to him or throw a tantrum or even get sad. Later on, when her dad learned that we were going to get married, he wouldn’t agree to it, and my wife just told him, “I’m just here to inform you. I’m not asking your opinion.””
Comments say, “Once you have a stepmom, you’ll have a stepdad too. That saying is so true. But where is her biological mom?”
A tiktok video of why a man would rather eat in the corner by himself than eat with his girlfriend:
Comments say, “Her mouth never stopped moving. Her eyes never left you…r food.”
“He’s only mad because she didn’t get him a matching outfit.”
“Every time the topic of bride price comes up, there’s a ton of controversy on the internet, and it all just makes me laugh. Back in Dynastic days, bride price is a form of compensation from the man to the woman’s family: thank you for raising a daughter for all these years—now she’s a part of my family and has nothing to do with you anymore. To some extent, it might be a way to show off a man’s financial strength, but it honestly has little to do with the woman herself.
A lot of families won’t even care about their daughter’s happiness and force her to marry, so they can get the bride price so their son can get a wife (basically a closed loop of patriarchal oppression).
Now, the times have moved on. Women don’t want to be sold like merchandise. Men don’t want to blow money on pointless bullshit either. They actually want the same thing. But what about unpaid labour that women do in the family? What about all the time and energy the woman’s family puts into raising her?
The answer is simple. Don’t make women do unpaid labour. Don’t completely disassociate with a daughter just because she married off.
Now, most families are dual-income. Since you’re both making money, they split chores and childcare too. And since only one of you can actually carry and birth the child, it’s not unfair to demand the other person put in more money and effort in raising it, right? As for whose surname the child takes, it’s not like the law forbids children taking their mother’s surnames. Just decide that among yourself.
And as for the daughter’s family, since you lose out if you cut your daughter off, than just keep treating her like family. She can keep a part of your family estate and your rural land, and once she has a child that has her surname, she continues the family legacy just as well.
This fits in with our new age ideas, and solves the problem of bride price. It’s win-win all around. And yet, I’m sure lots of people hate this idea. They know exactly why. They know how much they’re winning right now by taking advantage of women.
Honestly, with how trashy our patriarchal marriages are, I’m not gonna get married.”
Comments say, “Agreed! All the men complaining the loudest about bride price are precisely the kind of men that nobody would marry if it weren’t for bride price. I think it’s fine. It’s getting rid of bad genes from the human gene pool.”
“But men also do a lot of unpaid labour in the family.”
“It’s pretty ridiculous to have to fight every year about whose family to go to for Chinese New Years too.”
A question, “What was your moment of despair during your postgrad career?”
Top reply, “I’ll just write one example.
One day, lunchtime, I was eating in the cafeteria, and my PhD advisor called me and asked if I was busy and whether I could come over to his office right away.
I tentatively asked him if it could wait a bit, since I was in the middle of eating.
My advisor got absolutely furious and told me that this was super important, I had to come over right away.
So I stored my leftover food with the cafeteria lady and begged her to keep it a bit for me since I was coming back right away, and ran over to his office. The whole time, I was thinking what the hell was going on? Did a problem come up with my thesis?
When I got to his office, he was eating with an unmarried (but engaged) female professor, and he told me to go to his house, and take out the left over spicy duck neck in his fridge, and bring it to him. He wants it right now. And then he turned and bragged to the other professor, “Try this spicy duck neck I got from the airport yesterday. It’s delicious!”
Confused, I asked him, “…Is that all?” Because I really didn’t think this counted as “super important”.
And he turned and was like, yeah, that’s all.
And I was like, “There’s nothing else you want me to do?”
And he was like, “Hurry up and go.”
It was raining outside, and I was just filled with despair.
It turned out, he wasn’t a human being at all. He certainly doesn’t deserve to be called a professor.”
Comments say, “He just shouldn’t have answered the call at all. What would have happened if he just finished eating and then called back?”
“Isn’t he worried his student will spit on his duck neck?”
“I’ve seen an article before about how the education field is the most feudal part of our society, because teachers have absolute power over their students, and there’s no checks and balances at all, whether it’s for primary school, middle school, or university.”
A compilation of Chinese version of Florida Man news headlines—they sound ridiculous, but all of them are true:
“A mother receives a call claiming to have kidnapped her daughter demanding a ransom of 500K. She haggled the price down to 33K before figuring out that her daughter just lost her phone.”
“Man breaks into house and stays for 3 hours, fried 15 eggs, drank the homeowner’s wine, and tore up the homeowner’s child’s homework.”
“Three men pool funds to buy equipment to print counterfeit 1 RMB coins, and created 170,000 RMB’s worth of counterfeit currency after investing 200,000 RMB.”
“Mr. He arrested in Shenzhen for counterfeiting currency. When asked why he counterfeited currency, he answered, “Because I don’t know how to print real ones.””
“Mr. Pan bet with his friend that if he licks chicken poop, his friend has to pay him 10,000 RMB. He really licked chicken poop, but his friend wouldn’t pay up, and they ended up in a fistfight that saw them both arrested.”
“Mr. Zhang removed his shoes before attempting to rob a house in order to hide his footsteps, and woke up the homeowners due to his feet stinking too much.”
“Drunken Guangzhou man fights Tibetan Mastiff and was bitten and ended up in the hospital. After being discharged, he fights a Tibetan Mastiff again and was bitten again and ended up in the hospital again.”
“Thief in Anhui calls police for help that he found an unlocked Audi and went to pilfer inside and ended up locking himself inside and can’t get out.”
“A couple in Zhejiang fantasises about dreaming the lottery and end up fighting due to disagreeing about how to split the money and end up in the police station. After getting out, they went to the Civil Affairs Bureau [where you get divorces] due to continue to disagree about how to split the money.”
“Woman in Hangzhou goes home from work in the middle of the day to pick up some materials she forgot behind, and suspects a thief is hiding in her closet. She opens it to reveal her husband, who is hiding at home because he doesn’t want to go to work.”
“Why are Chinese people the only people who can’t drink cold water? Do we have different stomachs than every other race in the world? I’m living in Australia, and I’ve come in contact with people from everywhere, just about, and it feels like only Chinese people don’t drink cold stuff. You can tell a Chinese tourist group from a mile away because they’re all carrying thermos so they can have hot water wherever they go.
From my years of observation, if Chinese people consume cold stuff, they’ll have diarrhoea, menstrual cramps, bloating, cold uteruses, indigestion, lack of appetite, depression, mental illness, ectopic pregnancy, ED, or even become sterile.”
Comments say, “What, you’re proud of drinking cold water or something?”
“Canadians drink iced water even when it’s negative 30 out.”
“It’s because western countries eat so much high calorie food like steak and fried chicken and hamburgers. It’s easy to get overheated if they don’t drink cold water. Once my friends went over to America and start eating like them, they start adding ice to their water too. I stayed in America for two weeks last month, and ate nothing but steak, and I was starting to get nosebleed. It only got better once I went back to eating just Chinese food.”
A photo of a kiddo setting up a roadside stall selling corn, with a sign out front reading, “I don’t have any confidence in my studies so I’ve started my own business to earn my living expense! Uncle and aunties, please come support me, thanks!”
The comments say, “Ask him for a health license, demand to know where the corn is from, whether he has a license to import agricultural goods, take it home and cook it and then demand a refund from him, take his spot, fine him for taking up sidewalk space, haggle with him. Teach him that the simplest thing in this world is studying.”
“I think we have to allow for the existence of kids who are bad at studying. Plus kids that don’t like to talk or socialise too much. We have to tolerate people’s difference. It’s not only kids who fit our standard criteria that count as “good kids”.”
“Ask him which is cheaper, giving you a 15% discount or buy 5 and get 1 free.”
"American redneck Anglo Saxons like to solve all their problems with their AR." That's a hot take. From now on AR stands for American Redneck.