01/08/24 - They warn her that cartoonish looks aren’t allowed in the subway, and she has to look like a “normal passenger”.
[Oh Jeez, I typed all this up and got it ready last night, and completely forgot to press “publish”. So sorry for the lateness!]
“Just saw my boyfriend’s texts with his mom, and it’s making me really uncomfortable.”
OP attaches screenshots of the texts:
Mom: “[OP] is about the same height as your sister, right? Do you like her? I guess it’s up to whether you guys are destined to be together. If she wants to come home with you, that’s great. Get to know her a little better. You can’t afford to keep up with a girl who’s too materialistic.”
Boyfriend: “Sure, we can talk more once I get home, see if she’s right for me. I think she’s a pretty decent person.”
Mom: “She’s pretty haughty. You can’t control her. I’d rather she accept our family background. Because we’ve got no car, no house, and no money. You’ve got to tell her up front, that your parents don’t have any money and you’ll have to rely on what you make on your own. See what she says.”
Boyfriend: “She already knows all that.”
Mom: “If she comes over, I’ll tell her myself.”
Boyfriend: “I told her as soon as we started dating.”
Mom: “I like girls who are understanding and well-mannered and reasonable.”
Boyfriend: “We met in May of 2022. My class leader introduced her to me.”
Mom: “At least she loves you a little more. Then you won’t be too bullied. Your dad said, you can’t marry into her family. You’ll be bullied then.”
Boyfriend: “I’m going to make money and buy a house on my own. She comes from the countryside too. She also doesn’t have any money.”
Mom: “A man can only be proud in his own home. If you live in her house, you’ll be totally whipped.”
Boyfriend: “I know.”
Mom: “If you’re not against it, and you like each other, and she knows how to think of it, then it’s all good. I’m not gonna get too involved in your marriage. I wish for the best for you.”
Boyfriend: “[OK emoji] Thanks, mom.”
Comments say, “I mean, to put it bluntly, with her family background, where does she get off being picky and choosy? She should be praising the Gods that anyone’s considering marrying into her family at all.”
“I know about this! Just read a psychology article. You’re uncomfortable because they’re objectifying you, talking about you like they’re judging you as your superiors, and repeatedly bringing up how you benefit them, like they’re wanting you to sacrifice yourself to satisfy others. You don’t feel respected, so it’s normal to feel uncomfortable.”
“No car, no house, no money. She likes well-mannered girls. Men need to be proud. Hahahahahaha how can this be so hilarious XD”
“What’s wrong with what his mom said? Of course they should inform you of their family background beforehand. And even if they’re poor, they’re allowed to want someone who’s not materialistic, right? Who would like a DIL who’s bad to their son? Who wants to find a DIL who bosses everyone around? She’s being perfectly reasonable. This is a lot better than hiding everything before marriage!”
A tiktok video of a woman cosplaying Qiqi [from Genshin] being stopped by TSA when riding the subway. The TSA agent explains that it’s because her outfit is too “ridiculous”, and lectured her before letting her go for wearing an outfit that’s “bloody, scary, and trashy”. They warn her that if she attracts a crowd, she’ll be held legally responsible. They warn her that cartoonish looks aren’t allowed in the subway, and she has to look like a “normal passenger”.
Comments say, “What laws are they citing? How is this ridiculous at all?”
“I run into all kinds of cosplays on the Chengdu subway. I might give them an extra glance or two, but I would never think they shouldn’t be allowed on the subway.”
“What a shame on society.”
“I support the subway!”
A question, “What’s a standard Shanghai tri-state area family look like?”
The top-reply is, “Families show off to each other using their kids’ grades as the standard of currency.
Like, if a billionaire and a normal farmer were good friends.
Billionaire: I’ve got two sons.
Farmer: My daughter is top in her school.
Billionaire: I’ve got a huge mansion.
Farmer: My daughter is top in her school.
Billionaire: I’ve got Mercedes and Bentleys and Maseratis.
Farmer: My daughter is stop in her school.
Billionaire: I’ve got hundred of people working for me.
Farmer: My daughter is top in her school.
Billionaire: I’m a People’s Representative for our city.
Farmer: My daughter has really great grades.
Billionaire: I’m super rich. Do you not understand?”
Farmer: So? My daughter is top in her school. So long as every generation of my family focuses on education, we’d never lack for money.
And the most important part is, nobody thinks it’s weird for normal farmers to think this way in Zhejiang, because what they’re saying is true. If you can produce generations of academics, you’ll never have to worry about money. Countless generations of Zhejiang people have proven this.
And even more importantly:
Farmer: I may be a normal farmer, and I may not have as much money as you, but do you really think I don’t have any money?
Kids are under a ton of pressure to study. From the moment you get pregnant, you start trying to get into a good school district. Some people are buying school district houses before they’re even married. If they go to school, the parents 100% bribe the teachers. If they have any connections at all, it’ll be spent on getting their kids into a better class with a better teacher. People more than half of their income on their kids’ education. They can go without food or new clothes. But they’ll never go without tutoring for their kids. It’s normal to spend five-figures on just summer classes. So long as the parents can make 10K, they’ll be comfortable spending 10K. If their kids can get into a normal high school, they’d never settle for a technical school. So long as their kids can get into a magnet high school, they won’t settle for a normal high school. If their kid is a couple of points short, they’ll buy their way in.
Education is the number one priority. If you have money at all, that’s what you invest in.”
Comments say, “But do they really get any returns out of studying?”
“Yeah, more importantly, farmers in Zhejiang aren’t poor either. My village doesn’t have any poor people. Everyone’s got six figures in savings. But some big business owners might not have any money at all. They’ve just got a bunch of debt.”
“Is that not the case everywhere, though.”
A tiktok video of a girl complaining about how she doesn’t want to go home.
“Why do I not want to go home? Can you imagine this scene? It’s a true story. One winter, it was maybe 5-6C out. The guys are done eating and are drinking tea, chatting, playing poker, playing around. And I’m outside, in the freezing rain, in the dark, washing a small mountain of dishes by myself. My mom and my grandma will get hot water for me. But growing up, I’ve always felt that was unfair. Even now, the couple of days I go back home for the New Years, I still have to do housework. Because if you don’t do it, then your mom will have to do it, or your grandma will have to do it. You h ave to help them out. So why don’t the men ever do any work?”
Comments say, “This girl should marry to Dongbei, Shanghai, or Sichuan. It’s the other way around in these areas.”
“It’s true. Sons can sit there and drink tea and smoke guilt-free, but daughters have to clean up dishes every time they go back home.”
“That’s because it’s not fair. It’s old, conservative traditions.”
A tiktok video of how to correctly butcher a pig. It’s fascinating:
Comments say, “You’ll never find pork that fresh on the market.”
“If you don’t have several man, you’ll never keep a pig down while it’s bleeding out and fighting. Even after it’s been killed, its muscles will keep twitching while you’re butchering it. You sure you’re not scared?”
“I also learned how to drive a tractor on the internet. Now all I need is a tractor.”
A compilation of people complaining about high cost of living in Xinjiang:
“Xinjiang’s goods have been higher than the mainland’s for 10 years now. But most people’s average income in Xinjiang is only equal to that of a small town in mainland. And yet stuff costs the same here as in first or second-line cities in the mainland.”
”I just want to ask a Xinjiang native, are you sure your bottled water is 5-6 RMB? Not 2.5 RMB?”
A photo of a menu at a Xinjiang restaurant. Doesn’t look particularly fancy either, and yet they’re charging goddamn near 700 RMB for some hotpot.
Another photo of the prices for a parking lot, which is 4 RMB an hour, 86 RMB for 12 hours.
“Bring 20K on Harbin—what are you trying to do, buy a tiger? Bring 200K to Xinjiang—you’ve got food paid for, but where are you gonna sleep at night?”
“It’s not as bad as people make it sound, but things really are a bit more expensive here than normal. I worked in Xinjiang for a year, and made 60K and spent 80K.”
Another picture of Xinjiang menus, where they want 128 RMB for a plate of chicken. 25 RMB for some cabbage and tofu soup??? Have you ever had Kungpao Chicken for 50 bucks? I’ve never had Kungpao Chicken for 50 bucks.
Oh my god, I cannot believe there are restaurants out there charging 30 RMB for some corn.
Comments say, “It’s already 6 RMB an hour, and 3.5 RMB every 30 minute after that here in Urumqi. I don’t know what parking in the mainland costs.”
“48 RMB for shredded potatoes really blew my mine.”
“Which tourist spot isn’t expensive? They’re all trying to screw over out of state tourists. What’s so weird about that?”
Lately, a homeless guy in New York has gone viral in China, because it turned out he was a PhD graduate from Fudan University [top 3 in China], and ended up emigrating to America, where he became homeless as a result of schizophrenia.
“That homeless Fudan student in America? There’s a college graduate in my hometown about his age. It’s probably a mark of the times, but he was sent overseas to study on government money too. And when he got to America, he instantly converted. Abandoned his wife and kids at home, and refused to come back again.
Apparently, just the same as this homeless guy, he spent a decade or so on Wall Street, and then got laid off. Never did anything with himself. Apparently, some super successful classmate of his invited him to come back to China to go into business together, and he refused. About 7-8 years ago, he came back, and supposedly, he’s still playing with stocks in China, but he’s only been losing money.
He’s got an 80-year-old mother who he gives 500 RMB a month to.
He’s still single to this day. Never accomplished anything.
Everyone at home says that it’s such a shame. With a prestigious university like that on his resume, he would’ve been a department-level politician in China by now.”
Comments say, “What is going on lately? Why is everyone on weibo talking about this?”
“If he couldn’t make it on Wall Street, it means the finance he learned isn’t actually useful in the finance market.”
“China is so much better. After the ten years of chaos, we’ve been doing nothing but developing our economics.”