01/04/24 - Ridiculous School Rules Edition!

A compilation of the reasons people have been suspended from school:

“I brought a suspension notice home. My mom asked what happened. I told her I went to the bathroom during lunch.”

“The next day, the bathrooms are packed full of people during lunch.”

“I got sent home with my bunkmate. The reason my bunkmate got suspended: didn’t make his bed. The reason I got suspended: my bunkmate didn’t make his bed.”

“I can’t even be bothered to get mad about it. I accidentally saw a couple kissing in the stairwell and got made to write a reflection on why I was watching other people kiss. XD”

“Our school is the same. So I decided to go to the back of the classroom and poop right in the middle of it while everyone else was sleeping. The teacher came to find me after watching the security cameras, and I told her I did it on purpose and demanded to know why we weren’t allowed to go to the bathroom.”

“We weren’t allowed to bring snacks to school in middle school. We could only bring one apple and one milk for each day we were at school. I once got suspended because I was at school for 21 days but brought 22 apples.”

“I fell and scared another classmate and got suspended for a week.”

“Man, I wish that was a thing when I was a kid.”

“One time I got suspended and got written down for a major offence because somebody left a tissue on my bed. I wasn’t even at school one day. I’d asked for the day off. And when I got back, I immediately got sent home for another 12 days.”

“I was snoring at night and they said I was talking and deducted points from me. I didn’t even wake up for it, and they shook me awake to demand to know why I was up at night XD”

“Our high school didn’t let girls have short hair, in case girls started having inappropriate relationships with each other. Because I got myself a short haircut, I got a 26 day holiday including Independence Week.”

“Woke up for a second during my nap and opened my eyes. The Director of Education saw and pointed at me, and the next day, I got points deducted because I was playing with my eyes instead of napping???”

“In middle school, I brought three cans of pineapple beer [a non-alcoholic fruit drink, actually]. We happened to have PE class that day and I didn’t bring my thermos, so I drank all my pineapple beer, and finished of all three cans in a single morning. And that afternoon, my parents got called to pick me up because I was being an alcoholic at school.”

“Wait, so in order to get home without a leave application, without a doctor’s note, without any hassle at all, all I have to do is go take a shit?”

“In high school, the head teacher made everyone go get a haircut, so I got myself a buzz cut. Then the head teacher said my hair was too short and told me to go home until it grew out longer.”

“My classmate got suspended for 7 days for bringing her phone to school. I also got suspended for 7 days because I saw her phone.”

“My friend’s school rules was that shoes could only be black, white, or grey, and one day, she wore a pair of black shoes with red soles to school, and got called into the office of the head teacher who demanded to know who she was trying to seduce.”

“Got written up by the dorm manager for peeing audibly.”

“Last month, my head teacher saw a cup of boba tea on my desk and said I was seducing people and demanded to see my parents. My mom came in and brought me another cup of boba tea, and the head teacher said my mom disrespected her and was going to suspend me for a day. I went home and made a social media post about this and someone reposted it to her. So she cussed my mom and me out during night self-study. My mom was furious and agreed to let me homeschool. Went to school to do the paperwork, and she asked why we were doing this, and my mom said it’s so I can drink boba tea freely.”

“I wore a high ponytail in middle school, and my head teacher said I was a rocket. The next day, I wore a low ponytail, and my head teacher said I looked like a grandma.”

“I got suspended because I didn’t take off my shoes after lights out. They said I had no desire to sleep. ???”

“Went to the break room to get water in high school and accidentally splashed boiling water on my hand. Couldn’t help but yelp, and the head teacher said I was screaming in the break room and wrote me up and announced it over the school broadcast. They cycled “XXX screamed in the break room” all day.”

“Let me introduce to you three types of parents. 1. Then don’t go to the bathroom during lunch, just hold it in. 2. What the hell kind of rule is that? Let me talk to your teacher. 3. Okay, then let’s go out somewhere and have fun.”

“In high school, I took a drink of water during class one time, and the teacher asked what I was drinking, and I told her Dongfang Shuye [an unsweet brand of tea] and I got suspended for two weeks for talking back…”

“Got written up for watching other people play poker. They said I was engaging in gambling and suspended me for three days.”

“The first time I had to write a reflection in my life was because my high school dorm mate’s feet stunk too bad and I asked what the smell was.”

“In high school, my lips were super dry during the winter. I was joking around with a friend and laughed so hard my lips split apart and bled, and they insisted I was wearing lipstick. Told me to go home and think about what I did for a week and read an apology out loud during flag raising.”

“The teacher said we weren’t allowed to put trash in the trash can. She asked if we randomly throw trash in the trash can at home. That made me silent for a long time.”

“Honestly, everyone in this comment section, if I was studying at your school, I’d be surprised if I was at school for more than a month in all three years.”

“Didn’t eat breakfast and passed out int he classroom. The reason for the suspension: disturbing classroom order.”

“The school: Deduct points, written up in your files, when you’re looking for your jobs, they’ll see these files. Companies: The reason we don’t want to hire you is because you ate instant noodles in the supply closer in middle school that one time.”

“Finished up with lunch and was preparing to leave the cafeteria, so I shoved the last bite of bread in my mouth and the teacher at the door said I was sneaking food out of the cafeteria.”

“I took too long pooping during class and they thought I was skipping, so I got suspended for three days. I was devastated, until I got home and found out my mom had adopted a golden retriever, and I played with a puppy for three days at home.”

“I happened to sit with a guy I didn’t even know during lunch, and the head teacher saw us and insisted we were dating. I’d never even seen him before. Neither of us would admit to it, so we both got suspended for 14 days.”

“My head teacher in high school demanded to know if I was jealous of her. I was super confused and said no, so she got mad and called my parents.”

“When I was in high school, my dorm mate got caught smoking, and the entire dorm had to go home because “breathing second hand smoke is also smoking.””

“When I was in middle school, when everyone went to sleep, the teachers would peek inside your blankets to see if you were wearing clothes, and you got points taken away for going to bed with clothes on.”

“Back in 2020, I was in 12th grade. Back when school were getting locked down because of covid, a friend of mine broke his ankle playing ball and wanted to take a few days off of school and they wouldn’t let him. So he went to the top of the dorm building and set beds that nobody was sleeping in on fire and threw it off the roof. So he got suspended for 3 days, and I got suspended for 15. Him because of arson, me because I brought a lighter.”

“At the time, we weren’t allowed to bring our book bags to the classroom because we could hide stuff in it. And someone was studying in their dorm at night and got called out on the school announcement for “pretending to study”.”

“During one night self-study in high school, everyone was chatting and it was super noisy. The head teacher didn’t bother the students who were chatting. He just used the Seewo whiteboard [a smart whiteboard] to randomly draw names to suspend, and the name he pulled was someone who wasn’t even there that night, but still got a week-long suspension.”

“The very first time I had to write a reflection in my life was because I told my dorm mates that my SIL had a baby, and the Director of Education said I was discussing sexual topics :P”

“I got written up for attempting suicide in high school.”

“In middle school, my dorm mates wouldn’t go to sleep and were chatting. The head teacher were inspecting the dorms and found our dorm was chatting. I had crawled into bed because they were being too loud and already fallen asleep. She pulled me out of bed and I was still asleep, and she was like, “You’re pretty good at pretending” and slapped me in the face until I woke up and wrote me up.”

“Someone in my class brought a can of kvass and the teacher insisted it was beer and sent him home. I laughed, so I got sent home too.”

“I always thought eating and drinking and shitting were basic human rights.”

“In tech school, the teacher looked at the security camera and said me sleeping during class and snoring was affecting other students’ ability to listen and asked me to drop out. The couple right next to me were practically shoving their heads down each other’s clothes and I had to write a 2000 word reflection. The first draft didn’t pass, so they asked me to write a second one that was 4000 words. I couldn’t take it for much longer and just dropped out.”

“The school wouldn’t let me and my dorm mate board anymore, because my dorm mate let out a lot of farts in the middle of the night, and it made me giggle, and the dorm manager overheard us.”

“When I was in high school, if a cigarette butt was discovered, the entire dorm had to be suspended for three days. Then the pressure got too much in 11th and 12th grade, so every couple of days, the whole dorm would find a cigarette butt and throw it out onto our balcony so we could take a few days off.”

“My dorm mate wanted a few days off because his grandpa died. I’m from the same town as him, so the head teacher made me go with him to express grief on behalf of the whole class.”

“In middle school, we had a female PE substitute teacher who was particularly ridiculous. Her rule was that if girls had their period and wanted to be excused from running laps, they had to prepare a clean menstrual pad before PE class, and after class, she would take the girls to the bathroom and everyone had to get in line to change their pads, and every time, she’d go in and see if there was blood on the pad. If there’s too little blood, she wouldn’t let people excuse themselves. But she didn’t make this clear the first time she substituted for us, so all the girls just changed their pads without her. After she learned, she specifically explained her ridiculous rule in detail and said that if we didn’t wait for her next time, she’ll just strip our pants off and check whether there’s blood on our pads herself. Thank god our old PE teacher came back and she didn’t substitute anymore. I can’t even imagine how the girls she usually taught lived.”

“One time during a mock exam, I heard people were fighting while I was studying during lunch and looked in the direction of the balcony. They said I was involved and suspended me for a week.”

“A friend of mine brought chopsticks to eat with and the teacher confiscated it because she could stab someone in the eye with them.”

“I bought three boxes of self-heating rice and the Director of Education found them in my desk. I asked him why he was confiscating them, and he said they were a fire hazard. And then I found them already cooked on the director’s desk in his office…”

“Dorm inspection during uni, they found a computer on our desk and said it was a high capacity electronic and deducted points and ordered a 3000 word reflection.”

“I was in primary school when I wore a pair of shiny pink shoes my mom brought me to school. The teacher demanded to know who I was trying to seduce, whether I was seducing her husband.”

“Have you ever seen someone get suspended for a week for being 10 seconds late to noon reading?”

“My mom wanted to know why I got suspended, worried I’d done some serious stuff like murder or arson. The actual reason: eating a lollipop during lunch.”

“If this gets you suspended, should I have gotten expelled for the shit I’ve done?”

“My friend was in the Qingbei class [named for Qinghua University and Beijing University, the best class in a school, full of students who are probably going to get into the top universities] got suspended for 3-7 days. The reason? He dared to look at his watch despite being from the Qingbei class.”