05/06/24 - I hear the Spring Airlines CEO is even coming out with standing tickets.
A blogger reposts a comment which reads, “Just learned a new word today: tactical pregnancy. In order to avoid the mass layoffs going on in banking circles, lots of female employees are getting pregnant one after the other. In second-tier government-funded companies, all the 36-40 year old women in middle management have collectively gotten pregnant, because it’s about time for rehiring. In order to prepare for layoffs, they get pregnant ahead of time so their boss has to keep them in their job.”
The blogger says, “Seems pretty easy to raise birth rates. We’ve got 150 million people in government positions. You could get tens of thousands of babies a year with this method.”
Comments say, “They’ve always given benefits and subsidies to government workers. It’s about time we backed them up against a corner. If they don’t want to get fired, they gotta have kids. They need some pressure in their lives.”
“We should be demanding that government officials, government-funded company workers, and party members to carry through on the policy of encouraging birth rates. We should require proof of two babies before they can qualify for raises or promotions. And they should get fired if they don’t have a second baby by 40. And they should get some subsidies for having second kids.”
“If all the government workers are having babies, who’s gonna work? Or are they gonna line up and do it one by one?”
”I think this incident was made a lesson to the entire military? This retard, Wang, decided to take a flashbang grenade from work back home so he could show off, but he couldn’t get it through security at the airport. Once he found out, he had no idea what he was supposed to do with this flashbang, so he threw it into the trashcan in front of the security checkpoint, and then went on his flight. That same afternoon, when the janitor was cleaning up, she found the flashbang that Wang left in the trash can, and it drew her attention. Out of curiosity, she pulled the ring on the grenade (don’t be too harsh here—who would expect to find a flashbang in a Chinese capital city?), and then…there was a tremendous BOOM. The airport went into level 1 lockdown, all the flights were grounded, nobody was allowed in or out. And Wang was arrested the next day in his bed by local police and SWAT.”
Comments say, “Ten years later, that janitor will scoff to her CS-playing grandson, and be like, “Grandma once threw a flashbang at the airport back in the day.”
“This is way too abstract. Can you just bring shit like that home? How could he not realise it’s not gonna go on a plane? Doesn’t he have to return it after he takes it from work? How could he just randomly throw it into the trash?”
“Yeah, it’s a bit ridiculous. It can’t go through security? If you carried it into an airport to begin with, it’s a goddamn big deal. They wouldn’t just be like, “Oh yeah, you can’t take that onto the plane.” and leave you to deal with it.”
A blogger screenshots a twitter post, “Israeli people dislikes China more and more.” And the blogger says, “So? The whole world dislikes Israel more and more.”
Comments say, “They say that like they used to like us or something.”
“At the same time, a certain European art student is becoming more popular in China.”
“Who the hell cares about this bunch of Nazis?”
A compilation of the difference between female and male sales agents:
“The female sales agent told me if I have a fear of heights, I should buy a unit on a lower floor, and asked me what I liked. The male sales agent asked me why I’d hang around windows if I had a fear of heights, if I didn’t look, I wouldn’t get scared.”
“I was buying a car for my boyfriend, and the male salesman never spoke to me the whole time, never paid attention to me, despite how my boyfriend emphasised multiple times that I was the one paying. The guy even rolled his eyes at me and was like, “Women don’t know shit about cars.” I mean, yeah, I don’t know shit about cars. But I’m the one paying.”
“While buying a house, I was like, “But this is really close to the road so it would be really noisy. “ And the male salesman was like, “Have your husband come and you’ll see.” What, is my husband a silencer? He can make everything go quiet?”
“Me, going to a gym to find a private coach. Male coach: “If you’re just exercising along to videos at home, it wouldn’t matter even if you lost weight.” Female coach: “Oh, so you have some foundation, that’s great!””
“And photographers. Female photographers think about how to get better photos of their customers, how to photoshop it to look pretty. Male photographers are just like, “Look at my composition! Look at my light and shadow! I’m a fucking genius!””
“Female hairdressers: “This hairstyle really suits you. It brings out your vibes, and it suits your face shape.” Male hairdressers, “Look at that style. Look at that curve. I’m so fucking good.””
“Female sales: “What does the customer want? I’ll focus on those points when I recommend things to her.” Male sales: Why do you care about that kind of bullshit? It’s all useless. Just listen to me, you don’t know anything, so shut up.”
“It’s so typical. I asked my classmate what kind of laptop I should get, and he recommended Alien. I was like, that’s out of my budget, and he told me to get a bigger budget and buy Alien.”
“I was buying a car and had my brother come with me. While my brother was test driving it, the male salesman was like, “When it comes to cars, sometimes, men just look at it and know. Women don’t know cars at all.””
“I’ve met a male salesman in his thirties who actually lectured his female customer about not having kids even though she was in her forties. Like, that’s her private business. Maybe she never wants kids. It’s just unbelievable that he’d lecture a customer. All of the other customers and work staff there were shocked.”
“Female sales: pick the most suitable product for the customer within their budget. Male sales: pick the product I like the best out of the customer’s budget.”
“I was buying a house and wanted a two-bedroom. The male sales was trying to force me into touring a three-bedroom instead, saying that three bedrooms are comfier once I have kids. I was like, “I’m not gonna have kids.” And he was like, “How can you not have kids when you’re a woman?” I just turned around and walked away.”
“I went with my partner to the building materials market to buy tiles, and the male salesman kept recommending us expensive matte tiles, when I wanted glossy tiles because they’re easier to keep up with. And he told my partner, “You’re only getting one house in your life, you’ve gotta be willing to spend money on it. You can’t listen to women when it comes to important matters like this.” My partner rolled his eyes and pulled me away.”
“Just bought a house and got into an argument with my male interior designer just the other day. Female designers are like, “I get what you mean, do you like it better this way? [redraws designs]” Male designers are like, “You’re too young. Your ideas aren’t gonna work out. You gotta listen to me.” I told him I wanted to change the side bedroom into a game room, and he insisted that I should keep it a smaller guest bedroom for when my relatives visit during the holidays. We couldn’t reach an agreement, and he called me after a whole month has passed wanting to talk about the house. I was like, “I don’t want to work with you now.” And he was like, “Why not? When do you want to work with me then?”
“It’s true. I was renting an apartment, and saw this one that was suitable for me all around, and I could accept the amount of utility bills and stuff, and the male agent just sat down on the coach and started trying to talk me into renting a shabby slum instead. He even said, “Do you have to live somewhere this fancy?” I was like, “I made my decision. I just want to sign the contract.” And he refused to bring me the contract and insisted I should think about it. So I switched to a female agent instead, and she called up the landlord right away and haggled on my behalf, spent half an hour talking the rent down from 1600 RMB a month to 1300. Basically saved me all my utility bills. I signed the contract that day, great experience. (She even showed up to help me fix my plumbing. She was so badass. Before, I had a male agent who constantly mumbled about how I need a man in the house while he fixed my water heater, and he never fixed it correctly.)”
A compilation of comments about Spring Airlines [an extremely budget airline]:
“My dad grew up in absolute poverty in the 60s, and he lives very frugally. After being forced to ride Spring Airlines once, he suddenly had a total mindset change, and told me that I need to buy normal airplane tickets next time.”
“Spring Airline stewardess: Pilot, they’re still not willing to buy blankets. We gotta turn up the AC.”
“I didn’t know how bad budget airlines could get, and once bought tickets for 9 RMB. Got on the plane and fell asleep, and they woke me up. I thought something was wrong, until I found out they were about to start selling belts and wanted me awake for the sales pitch.”
“Spring Airlines are like airborne tiger benches [a torture implement, a long bench designed to bend your legs backwards at the knees]. After riding it for 2.5 hours, when we touched the ground, I was thinking, “So long as Spring Airlines wanted me to talk, I’d even admit to breaking the arms off of the Venus statue.””
“I hear the Spring Airlines CEO is even coming out with standing tickets. He’s already designed how the standing spots are going to work and everything.”
“One time, I was in a hurry and chose Spring Airlines. I saw the stewardess get up and stand in the front, and figured she was about to start her spiel on safety instructions. And then she pulled out a bunch of snacks and started selling them. At that moment, I understood. This is basically an airborne green-skin train [the cheapest train in China, the clackety slow kind that hasn’t been upgraded since the 20s.]”
“I talked about Air Asia before. They have the AC up super high like they’re trying to freeze you, and then start selling blankets. As soon as everyone’s bought a blanket, they turn the AC off.”